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[Galick]

I live in a very suburban part of Tennessee, taking care of my grandmother for a living.  She had a stroke about a year or two ago and is completely paralyzed on the left side of her body.  She's not going to get much better than she is now according to doctors and therapists, and it's understandably depressed her.  I'm doing what I can, but nothing I do seems to help.  Add to that that my aunt is abusing alcohol in an EXTREME way (as of typing this, she has literally been drunk for 8 days straight) and my own issues with college due to flat out not GETTING a good portion of my classes and I'm close to being dropped due to low grades and I'd have to pay on my loans...with money I don't have.  I'm trying to find a job right now, but where I live is flat out jobless for EVERYONE.  Everyone here who's employed has been there for years and it's not likely they're going to get fired or quit.  So...what should I do?  I'd LOVE to get away from it all and start over in a new state with a friend but I can't leave my grandma alone.  My family would just ignore her and put her in a nursing home which I REFUSE to let happen.  Money, understanding schoolwork, any of that?  Think anyone can give me a bit of advice?

[Ddynamo]

Even though I'm still in Middle School,and I don't have to do ANY of that kind of stuff, I feel the need to say that you need a stress reliever. A walk in a park, perhaps.

Try doing things differently, as in not like anyone else would do them. Just find a way to relive stress. Bring out your inner child.

Hope I helped. I feel like a miracle worker. 

[Galick]

I appreciate the advice, but stress isn't MUCH of a problem for me.  I have games and a few other things to relieve it, and a few friends I can talk to when things get bad.

[Vector]

For understanding schoolwork, consciously experiment and find out what works best for you.

I can give you specific tips that were good for me, if you like, but I think it's something best discovered by the individual.

[Galick]

Generally, it's my design classes giving me issues.  No one in my class really understands how to use flash with the way our teacher's explaining it and I can't remember all the things I HAVE to know about 3DsMax.

[Vector]

So ask the teacher?

[Galick]

I have, but the lessons don't stick most of the time.  I kinda get what they're trying to tell me but the way they explain it makes no sense.

[jc6036]

Soooo. . . . .college, right? Have you tried recording lectures on some device and re listening? I find that I sometimes pick up information I missed the first time through. As for comprehension of subjects, give your self homework. Do your own projects alongside the professors work, if at all possible. Implementation works wonders for me.

[GlyphGryph]

And plus a degree is near worthless nowadays (though not having it can be harsh), college is simply an opportunity for you to to the shit that DOES matter in a generally supportive environment. Classes are only the start (and bare minimum) of what you should be doing in college - your own projects should be propelling your own understanding, not so much teachers and lectures.
In many fields, the degree is probably less important than the actual things you accomplish while there - and fields like the one you seem to be in are exactly those sort of fields.

And understanding comes a LOT easier when you're living and breathing the subject matter. Obviously, all the other stuff going on makes that a bit of a problem... but in a way, it can be an escape sometimes as well.

[SolarShado]

I have, but the lessons don't stick most of the time.  I kinda get what they're trying to tell me but the way they explain it makes no sense.

Find a wiki (or two) and make some time to do projects on your own. IME instructors are often horrible at explaining technical concepts, they seem to focus on the minutiae of how you do things and gloss over the why.

Spoiler: Personal Experience/Soapbox (click to show/hide)

I recently completed 2 years at in local community college's programming course and wasn't terribly impressed with the main instructor. At no point in the 2 years did any class discuss object-oriented design (classes, objects, etc.) and while we worked with 3 languages (c++, java, and vb.net, in that order) each time we started a new language we spent the same amount of time on basic concepts like loops and conditionals. And I suspect that by the end there were still people in the class who didn't really get it...

If I hadn't already taught myself programming in middle/high school I might've been in trouble, and would've almost certainly be extremely frustrated. As it was I was irritated because I kind of felt my friends were being cheated...

For me, understanding the why is far more important than the how. If I know the how I can often figure out the how on my own. Might be just me, and could be specific to programming...

[Grakelin]

I usually prefer hot butter.

[simonthedwarf]

I'm sorry to say this but I think you should be pragmatic here. You've made your best efforts to avoid her being left in a care that you do not approve of, but in no rational way can you really believe that what she wants for you - or anyone in your family - is to spend what little resources you have for yourself and to ruin your own professional life to achieve that she does not end up in a nursing home. You are not SOLELY responsible for her. It might FEEL that way because others refuse to care, but there is a possibility that you staying to support her is less helpful for her mood - what kind of person would not be broken up about their grandchild having their future damaged? If she's not rational its not culturally required of you to take care of her anymore. Physically sick and mentally ill persons are left to healthcare/homes. Thats how it is these days. Does it have a element of cruelty to it? probably.

Anyways if you are "just in college" i have doubts to whether or not you are giving off the whole picture when you describe yourself as the sole caretaker.

Just get a spot on some education program away from your hometown, leaving will do you a lot of good

[Galick]

She still has her head.  She's still in there, and can think and speak like a healthy person.  She just can't move.  She took care of me for my entire life, I don't want to just abandon her in a nursing home where she won't be taken care of.

I am 20 years old, have been raised by this woman my entire life and now she depends on me.  Some of the family members support us financially which is nice, but I'm the only one THERE taking care of her.  I go to college at night after I've put her to bed and have the neighbors check in on her every now and then until I get home.

If I could find a job and get another member of the family or a close friend to sit/stay there while I'm at that job then things would be quite a bit better.  But, most of them flat out don't give a shit enough to help.

[AllThingsLive]

Okay, I'm only in highschool, so I can't say much outside of schoolwork. I gotten straight A's in highschool and some college classes I've taken without a problem, and the key to success is effort. I'm sure putting effort into schoolwork must be difficult in the situation that you're in, but to get good grades you must...
1. Listen the entire class time and take notes on important stuff.
2. If you don't understand something ask questions, or talk to the teacher outside of class. Ask around online as well, that's a good resource, you'd be amazed how well some people can explain things that you feel like you just can't "get".
3. Do ALL the work you're assigned, do everything they tell you to do. They went to college to learn to teach, you just have to follow what they teach.
4. Study, you don't have to be studying 4 hours a day or anything, but when you're at home and you have some spare time, read over your notes a couple times, spend a little time just reflecting on what you learned, what you got, what you didn't get, and if you didn't "get" something, look it up on the computer, talk to the teacher after class, or ask the teacher a question in class when they're reviewing it. Before a test, be sure to put in a good half to full hour of studying each day for the 4 or so days leading to the test.
Effort is really key, this is a lot of work, listening, writing, reading, etc, but if you just put in effort, listen, do you what you're instructed to do, and seek help when you need it, you should be fine.
Good luck on sorting out the other problems, all I can say is I hope you find a job somewhere and that you're able to find a way to care for your grandmother as well as sort out school and a job.
All I can do is hope, I wish I could do more.

[Vector]

. . .

To put it in perspective, I often study for 8-12 hours per day.  Don't assume that everything is as easy for others as it is for you.