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[The Fool]

498: No matter what level your wizard is you cannot use all your spells in an attempt to boatmurder a fortress full of dwarves.

[Aklyon]

498: No matter what level your wizard is you cannot use all your spells in an attempt to boatmurder a fortress full of dwarves.

But what if you're an elephantine decendant?

[The Fool]

498: No matter what level your wizard is you cannot use all your spells in an attempt to boatmurder a fortress full of dwarves.

But what if you're an elephantine decendant?

498a: Unless you are an elephantine decendant wizard. If that is the case go boatmurder boatmurdered.

[Aklyon]

Just posting this back up, it seems to have gotten forgetten about after #279a.
Thread in google doc list form.

[Itnetlolor]

499. If ever encountering a mindflayer, bloodsucker, or anything with tentacles for mouths, I shall not try communicating with it starting the conversation with "CRAW!".
 499a. It'll only end badly if they accept.
500. Musical instruments and explosives don't work well together.
501. I cannot seize the enemy compound's PA system to have theme music playing as I go throughout.
 501a. I can't duct tape the microphone to one of the PA speakers, and leave it activated until something breaks.
502. Portal networks aren't purely for decorative purposes.
 502a. Nor am I allowed to link them up to grab an easy snack.
 502b. Nor to relieve myself without needing to head into the bathroom.
 502c. Nor for voyeristic purposes.
503. I cannot own a moat made up of non-Newtonian fluids (corn starch+water for example).
504. I cannot figure out the secret identity of the Big Bad by playing '6 Degrees of Separation'.
 504a. The Big Bad is not Kevin Bacon. Enough with that.
505. Being on a mission while sick doesn't qualify me as a biological weapon.
506. My position in Human Resources does not involve trafficking.
 506a. Nor turning them into resources of the Soylent variety.

[Zaerosz]

498. Even if he is bald and round enough for the job, my character is not permitted to play Dwarven Croquet.
498a. Dwarven Golf is also forbidden.
498b. No, it doesn't matter whether or not he's using a hammer if the intention is the same.

[Itnetlolor]

499. If the party ever acquires access to a world-travelling airship; I am not allowed to barnstorm with it.
 499a. Other Maneuvers included: Barrel Rolls, Corkscrews, Immelmans, Yo-Yos, Turn and Burns, Boom and Zooms, Inverse-Horizons, Flip-Flops, Daggerfalls, Hairpins, Stall and Falls, Draw and Flaws, Piggy-Backs, Wronski Feints, and Pancake Flips; to name a few.
 499b. Especially if not in the middle of combat.
 499c. If it wasn't designed with any of those maneuvers in mind, DON'T DO IT ANYWAY!
 499d. I can't fly the airship under bridges or between buildings just because I "Felt like it".
500. Wearing a Titan's Mitt will not permit me to throw aircraft (regardless of size) like they are paper airplanes.

[Aklyon]

500. Wearing a Titan's Mitt will not permit me to throw aircraft (regardless of size) like they are paper airplanes.

But what if you're wearing a pair of Titan's Mitts?

[Itnetlolor]

500. Wearing a Titan's Mitt will not permit me to throw aircraft (regardless of size) like they are paper airplanes.

But what if you're wearing a pair of Titan's Mitts?

Well, I was going by LoZ law. Although it's a singular noun, it's still implied to come as at least a pair. I think the rule still applies anyhow.

501. I am not permitted leadership over my own military brigade (of redshirts).
 501a. Perception/Small Guns is not a dump stat for the original to be cloned for said army.
 501b. If an army of females, pants are always a part of their uniform; especially if they serve an aerial unit.
  501ba. Animal costume-wear is not included as part of their uniform.

EDIT:
And yes, I reserved this for pun's sake. Go nuts.

[Taricus]

502. Not allowed to resort to theft of prize money. No exceptions.
503. Not allowed to do anything that frightens the GM.

[Aklyon]

503. Not allowed to do anything that frightens the GM.

What about on halloween?

[Taricus]

Even on halloween. The GM doesn't need a heart attack/brain bleach.

[Itnetlolor]

503. Not allowed to do anything that frightens the GM.

What about on halloween?

I would assume if Brain Bleach is required, then it's valid. Otherwise, standard Halloween stuff is acceptable.

[Target Practice]

504. It doesn't matter if it happened once before, Fluffy Wamblers cannot be a character's main weapon.

[Dsarker]

499aa. Crazy Ivans are also included.