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Author Topic: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG  (Read 36590 times)

MaximumZero

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #210 on: August 22, 2011, 01:22:09 am »

 327c. Body hair is even worse.
 327d. Upon landing on the dessert island, you are not to offer anyone a tongue-bath, lest you be beaten with sticks.
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Phantom

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #211 on: August 22, 2011, 01:39:46 am »

337. If Phantom is in your party, the possibility of the party setting off the explosive toads must go up 75%.
EDIT: Oh god my eyes are bad.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2011, 02:48:53 am by Phantom »
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Kadzar

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #212 on: August 22, 2011, 02:38:25 am »

311 aa. And even then, only if you don't mind having to fight against their army.

Which reminds me:

332. If you attack an enemy which is vastly superior to you in every way and who you have no hope of defeating, you should not expect to survive the encounter with your ship intact.
 332 a. Especially if your only plan of attack is to "attack it's weak points", which is not a revolutionary concept.
  332 aa. Also, if it's is a new-model military vessel on its maiden voyage, there isn't any reason you should know what its weak points are better that its designers did.
333. No, the border patrol cannot spare one of their few military ships to deliver your mission objective to the system's government while you attempt to hold off the invasion with your heavily damaged civilian craft. If the mission was that important, maybe you should have completed it and let the border patrol do their job.
334. I'm not sure how or why a civilian craft would carry a fighter squadron, but, unless they're fighter-bombers, they don't have a realistic chance to take down a battlecruiser, and they'll be cut to pieces by point-defense lasers before they manage to penetrate its shields.
 334 a. Seriously, using them as a last-ditch distraction would be less of a senseless waste of human life.
335. Even if the Geneva Convention doesn't exist in a particular place and time, or is no longer official recognized, anything it defines as a war crime is going to be at least frowned upon.
336. Space Forces boarding parties are meant to enter into hostile territory and are expected to meet heavy resistance. For this reason, at least, their armor cannot be pierced by thrown shurikens.
337. A good plan does not hinge upon people being bad at their job, especially when you have no reason to believe this to be the case.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2011, 03:08:30 am by Kadzar »
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NewsMuffin

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #213 on: August 22, 2011, 04:09:22 am »

338. Using afk party members Fate Points is considered as bad taste.
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Dsarker

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #214 on: August 22, 2011, 04:43:09 am »

339. If you don't know what the encounter is, and the rest of the party does, and they are standing perfectly still and making no noise, it is a good idea to follow them in that.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #215 on: August 22, 2011, 08:23:44 pm »

 339a. Wearing a clown disguise and acting like one will only get you and your party killed.
  339aa. Such an action doesn't count as a distraction check.
340. The Most Interesting Man in the World is too interesting a character for me to play as.
 340a. Even if playing as him, I can not use my "Compel" ability to order my targets to "Stay thirsty, my friends.", even if it means they'll follow those orders, and die of thirst.
341. Any artifacts from either Fringe, Warehouse 13, or the SCP foundation cannot be part of my equipment/asset list.
 341a. Especially Euclid and Keter-class items or anything from the dark sector of the Warehouse or an alternate reality.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2012, 08:36:49 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Taricus

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #216 on: August 27, 2011, 10:45:31 am »

342: Should never EVER take drugs. It leads to bad things, like getting your leg shot off.
343: Not allowed to piss off anything more than triple your characters size.
 343a: Not allowed make the weapon explode when this happens.
  343aa: Not allowed to awesomely survive this by jumping away from it.
 343b: Not allowed to whinge that someone stole your kill if the creature dies via orbital bombardment.
344: Not allowed to date the commissar.
 344a: ESPECIALLY if you're a guardsman!
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Kadzar

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #217 on: August 27, 2011, 05:24:54 pm »

199. If ever assigned as an overseer of a space station, I'm not allowed to rename it "The Satelite of Love".
 199a. I'm not allowed to play cheesy movies; the worst I can find. *la-la-la*
  199aa. Or have any movie nights on-board for that matter.
 199b. The following are forbidden codenames to assign any machines: "Cambot", "Gypsy", "Tom Servo", "CRO-O-O-O-OW".
  199ba. Inventory management protocols regarding on-board machines are not considered "Robot Roll Calls".
119 c. If people are worried because we're running low on food or there's a problem with the atmosphere system, I am not allowed to try to assuage their fear by saying they "should really just relax."
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Jack A T

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #218 on: August 30, 2011, 12:04:28 am »

345. When stuck on an enemy space station, no calling Richard Garriott and asking him for a ride home.
346. Ussura doesn't need a communist revolution.
347. Yes, the Invisible College sourcebook for 7th Sea does give the invention target number increase for an atomic bomb as an example.  No, that doesn't mean that you can invent the atomic bomb.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #219 on: August 30, 2011, 12:16:41 am »

348. When attending a masquerade ball, I'm not allowed to wear a Guy Fawkes mask.
 348a. The mask does not grant me the powers of Anonymous.
 348b. Dressing as Bozo the Clown is also unacceptable.
  348bb. Pennywise the Clown is even less acceptable.
   348bba. The Deadlights doesn't work on everybody.
  348bc. Homie don't play that either.
349. After pulverizing something into paste with my sledgehammer, I shall not call it "A smashing success".
350. I'm not allowed to bring my 6-year old nephew with me to find flaws in the big bad's plans.
 350a. Or flaws to an elaborate trap.
 350b. Or to be my guard dog when flirting with women.
 350c. Or to serve as security because "There's a monster in the closet/under the bed", and I would have no choice but to execute the intruder while they're hiding.
 350d. Or as an advisor for my plans.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2011, 12:21:03 am by Itnetlolor »
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TherosPherae

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #220 on: August 30, 2011, 12:31:18 am »

350e. Come to think of it, just no six-year-olds in the party ever.
351. You may not, under any circumstances, play as pedobear.
352. "Light 'em all up" is not an appropriate way to approach political issues.
353. You may not take a specialty regarding the use of tableware as improvised weaponry.
354. Using the Force to make the adviser choke on his own gum as opposed to having the Force just plain choke him is generally considered lazy.
355. You may not use cannons as melee weapons.
356. You may not coat your entire ship in mirrors for any purpose.
357. Hatemail sent to your character is not to be addressed by way of finding the person who sent it, yelling "SCREW YOUUU" and chopping their head off. However, incidental meetings or beheadings are just fine.
358. An NPC saying "Nuts to you" is just old-fashioned and telling you to screw off. He is not buying you a male prostitute, nor mistaking you for one.
359. You may not use a Force Command to tell an enemy soldier to "kiss my ass."
359a. You may not follow this up with farting in their face.
360. You may not play as the nerd who lives in his mother's basement doing nothing but play WoW all day, especially if the quest is something of urgency or relative importance.
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Aklyon

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #221 on: August 30, 2011, 12:47:50 am »

350. I'm not allowed to bring my 6-year old nephew with me to find flaws in the big bad's plans.
Well of course not, its supposed to be a 5-year old that does that. ;D
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #222 on: August 30, 2011, 12:48:56 am »

 358a. He's not a (pea)nut vendor; no matter how literally you take it.
 358b. He's not selling you anyone's left nut either.
  358ba. Quests of such manner to fetch someone's (left) nut(s) are not likely to appear anyway.
 358c. You're not permitted to sever his nutsack off either in response.
  358ca. You're not allowed to beat him to death with his own nuts.
359. Breakdancing is not a method of fighting I can use.
 359a. Despite how awesome it may be, it won't work in outer space either.
360. I'm not allowed to use hyperspace as a cheap railgun to fire bullets the size of cities.
 360a. Especially if aiming at other cities.
361. If ever duplicated, or run across multiple copies of myself from alternate universes: I'm not allowed to start a barbershop quartet with Me, Myself, I, and Thee
« Last Edit: August 30, 2011, 01:52:25 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Darvi

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #223 on: August 30, 2011, 06:37:22 am »

359 b) Neither is hammerdancing.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #224 on: September 05, 2011, 07:30:46 pm »

Not seeing any more activity in this thread. Let's change that.

328b. I'm not allowed to bring with me a laser pointer to any events and aim them at valuable guests. Including the leader giving a speech.

362. Having the ability to turn any of my limbs into tentacles does not grant me a bonus to my charisma or charm when seducing female characters.
 362a. Adding tentacles around my mouth doesn't allow me to act like Zoidberg. (*whoop whoop whoop*)
  362aa. "CRAW!" Is not a verbal choice in conversations if my appearance is such.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2011, 01:35:26 pm by Itnetlolor »
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