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Author Topic: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG  (Read 37147 times)

Darvi

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #195 on: August 17, 2011, 07:41:58 am »

284-298: ???
299: Profit!
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Dsarker

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #196 on: August 17, 2011, 07:52:59 am »

303: You are not, under any circumstances, to set fire to the dungeon you are in in an attempt to escape.
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Darvi

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #197 on: August 17, 2011, 07:53:50 am »

303.a) Especially if the place is made out of ice or is a giant tree.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2011, 07:55:28 am by Darvi »
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Dsarker

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #198 on: August 17, 2011, 07:54:48 am »

303ba. EVEN if the ice is flammable.
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NoahTophatz

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #199 on: August 17, 2011, 07:57:17 am »

303ba. EVEN if the ice is flammable.
303bb. Especially if the ice is flamable
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Dsarker

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #200 on: August 17, 2011, 08:10:55 am »

303c. ESPECIALLY if you are trapped in a jail constructed by your own mind.
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[Dsarker is] a good for nothing troll.
You do not convince me. You rationalize your actions and because the result is favorable you become right.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #201 on: August 17, 2011, 04:53:08 pm »

284-298: ???
299: Profit!
284. To get assistance from CandleJa--, a certain someone, to kidnap a target for you by tricking them to speak his name is frowned upon.
285. You cannot tame an elder god by acting cute.
286. You're not allowed to go into a pub or inn and setup an RPG board and get other (N)PCs to join in the game
287. Switching MREs with dog food is in bad taste.
288. The solution to breaching an impenetrable fortress is NOT "More thermite".
 288a. Dropping blocks of dry ice into the molten thermite pool, although effective, is not a good idea in clearing out a field of mooks.
289. It's far too impractical to build a chaingun that has barrels that are chainguns with barrels that are also chainguns.
 289a. Even if you have the engineering skill to do so. No.
290. Playing the Sonic drowning music during an underwater mission is uncalled for.
291. Even if you have enough points invested in bluff, you can't beat a psychic at their own game unless you have the same powers.
292. If playing a campaign based in Oz, no playing Pink Floyd; especially the "Dark Side of the Moon" album.
 292a. That's regardless if it's Wizard of Oz, or the maximum security prison Oz.
 292b. No, no Ozzy Osbourne either.
293. Cherry tapping is not for team games. It'll take too long to win.
294. Tossing Jell-O into a hot spring will immediately get local residents pissed off.
 294a. Casting cold spells on top to condense it quicker will only get them even angrier.
  294aa. Charging them for the now food, that's going over the line.
 294b. Same especially goes for pure sodium or potassium.
 294c. Throwing electrical equipment, or casting lightning, into one is not a nice way to rack up kills. Especially if they're local town NPCs.
 294d. Taking pictures and holding them up for ransom on town NPCs or fellow PCs is not how to get money quick.
 294e. Taking residents' clothing while they're bathing and selling them is a mean way to turn a profit while humiliating the townies.
295. Enchanting a plant to petrify someone doesn't allow me to consider my target as "Getting stoned".
 295a. Calling them Marlboros is copyright or trademark infringement to both the tobacco company and Square-Enix.
  295aa. And yes, calling out that they can give you bad breath is cutting it too close.
296. It is improper to turn my redshirt army into chickens, and use the herbs and spices on hand to start a fast food franchise.
 296a. Especially if my ranking is "Colonel" and my character name also happens to be "Sanders".
 296b. Holding up cock fights with said transformed redshirts is not only illegal, but also a crime against humanity.
 296c. Said redshirt chickens do not get a bonus against Saurians (Big lizards; T-Rex).
297. If we end up in a location riddled with corpses done by the big bad, I'm not allowed to reanimate them to creep the hell out of the big bad.
 297a. Furthermore, use them as meat shields when fighting the big bad.
298. When hacking into a computer or broadcast array, I'm not allowed to re-enact "The Outer Limits" intro.
299. Combining any of these (however long the list goes) elements is not a profitable way of doing business.


304. I'm not allowed to follow up the descriptions or names of my obviously superior equipment with "Very Expensive".
 304a. Especially if my character happens to be named "Mr. Dink".
305. The "Animal Friend" perk doesn't allow me to communicate with animals on equal level like in the show "Wilfred".
 305a. Seeing them as people wearing animal costumes only makes it worse for those that haven't watched the show.
 305b. Furthermore, it doesn't permit me to get recreationally stoned, high, or drunk with said animal, and hold oddball conversations.
 305c. Even if allowed, other characters will still see them as animals, unless they have the same perk/trait.
« Last Edit: August 18, 2011, 10:44:19 am by Itnetlolor »
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RAM

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #202 on: August 17, 2011, 10:15:36 pm »

291a: Unless you have a bonus of 100 or more...
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #203 on: August 19, 2011, 07:29:16 pm »

306. Using Wood Elves for kindling is frowned upon.
 306a. Same goes for using their limbs as torches or (fire) arrows.
  306aa. Especially is you use them to gather more Wood Elves, and kill more with them.
307. I can not use my "Compel" ability to make NPCs lick car batteries.
 307a. Especially if the battery is still hooked up to a car or any other motorized vehicle.
 307b. Electric or hybrid cars could also amp up the intensity (while using less), and do much worse damage.
308. Pure Sodium/Potassium in molotov cocktails does not give off the same effect (except incendiary) as Mentos in Diet Cola.
309. I'm not allowed to play the "Jaws Theme" while pursuing my target underwater.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2011, 08:20:44 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Kadzar

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #204 on: August 19, 2011, 07:54:15 pm »

306 b. Especially if they're still alive when you do this.
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Dsarker

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #205 on: August 19, 2011, 07:54:57 pm »

306 b. Unless they're still alive when you do this.

Fixed that for you.
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[Dsarker is] a good for nothing troll.
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Taricus

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #206 on: August 22, 2011, 12:22:01 am »

310. Thou shll not fire into a melee that has more allies than foes.
310a. Especially on full auto.
311. Must never piss off any military commanders, reguardless of circumstances.
312. Not allowed to blow up the main villians vehicle. Bad things happen when you do it.
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NoahTophatz

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #207 on: August 22, 2011, 12:26:22 am »

311a) unless you are in another army/ have a bigger army
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #208 on: August 22, 2011, 12:32:41 am »

Not as much activity in this thread anymore... Huh.

FAKEEDIT:
Or so I thought.

313. Minefields don't make good places to hold a treasure hunt.
314. Pies are not one of my primary weapons.
 314a. Even if my job class is Entertainer.
 314b. Despite being a not-bad idea on it's own, I cannot arm myself with a flavor I know my target is allergic to.
315. Factory cooling fans do not double as food processors.
316. I'm not allowed to encode my messages by translating them into one language, and then using the phonetic language structure of another language to further encode it. (Example, translate to Spanish, then write down the syllables in Japanese phonetics; but in Kanji, not Romaji. Have fun translating the glyphs that when translated directly from the phonetic alone, doesn't make a damn bit of sense). Reason: Too hard, and too esoteric.
317. Whenever attending a ball, I'm not allowed to breakdance.
318. Switching out someone's canteen of water with sulfuric acid is a mean way to do someone in.
 318a. Same with switching out vodka with the same thing.

EDIT:
319. I do not qualify as a random encounter. (Yes you do.) No I don't. Don't listen to him. He's nuts. (Bastard. You're as screwed up as I am.)
320. I'm not allowed to serve fishmen like the still living filleted fish in certain Japanese restaurants.
321. When escaping a compound as it's doing a count-down to self-destruct, I'm not allowed to hit every floor button on the elevator(s).
322. I'm not allowed to modify my tank like it's a midnight racer. Decorations, hydraulics, paintjob, and everything.
323. I'm not allowed to feed the horses my special chili sauce.
 323a. Especially if it's before a chariot race... Or a Count/ess's outing day.
 323b. Extra cheese is not permitted either.
324. Fleshball creatures are not a substitute for meatballs in tonight's Italian meal.
 324a. Nor are Gels/Flans for Jell-O dessert.
325. Quicksand is not a good place to bury treasure. Lazy and quick, yes, but try getting it out yourself.
326. If ever granted telekinetic abilities, I'm not allowed to play Tetris using the local environment.
 326a. Undressing the local maid(en) is also not permitted, either for distraction or voyeristic reasons.
327. Dessert islands are actually far more hostile an environment than desert islands.
 327a. Especially on a hot day.
 327b. Having long hair will be a really bad idea here.
328. If the streets are just cluttered to hell with troops/NPCs/citizens/zombies/aliens, I don't think throwing a few beach balls into the crowd will ease the tension too much.
 328a. During a scripted sequence where there are tons of people at a political gathering (especially if the big bad took over the town/city/state/country/continent), I shouldn't bring a few beach balls with me to lighten the mood.
329. Lupin the Third should not be my primary basis for ideas as a rogue.
330. A guitar is not a substitute for an axe or a sledgehammer.
 330a. Especially against giant robots.
 330b. It doesn't cause giant robots to come out of peoples' heads either.
 330c. Mopeds aren't spaceships either.
331. Using a lightning elemental to power my supercomputer is inhumane to the elemental.
 331a. Same with using a fire elemental as a furnace or heating element.
 331b. Or a water elemental in a watercooler/heater.
 331c. Or a snow elemental for a freezer or air conditioner.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2011, 01:30:38 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Scaraban

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #209 on: August 22, 2011, 12:34:14 am »

You monster! The burn all the way down would be their flesh dissolving away...
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