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Author Topic: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG  (Read 37288 times)

Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #90 on: August 11, 2011, 10:30:38 pm »

115. In zombie apocalypse campaigns, you're not allowed to sell "Soylent Green" or "Iguana on a Stick" to survivors.
 115a. Adding "Free Range" doesn't enhance the sale price either.
116. Banana peels don't make good traps, no matter what you believe.
117. No starting mosh pits when you're facing a horde of zombies.
 177a. Nor choreographed dance routines in tune to Thriller
  177aa. Nor the Macarena.
118. If I have impossibly awesome calculating powers, I am not allowed to coordinate anyone's death in theme with any Final Destination movie.
 118a. No derailing any campaign plots into ANY of the Final Destination movies either.
119. If ever knocked into a dream world, and go Lucid, Freddy Kreuger does not make a good tour guide.
 119a. Forcing him to wear a uniform demonstrating such role isn't appropriate either.

EDIT:
Mis-typed the last numbers.

120. In any game where you have the option of rescuing survivors, you may not, at any point, use them as walking bombs just because you have to go into a large crowd of enemies and have a bomb and survivor on hand.
Reminds me of Kimbley from Fullmetal Alchemist.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2011, 10:46:02 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Angel Of Death

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #91 on: August 11, 2011, 10:39:14 pm »

117. No starting mosh pits when you're facing a horde of zombies.
117b. Unless it's a moshpit involving chainsaws.
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Lillipad

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #92 on: August 11, 2011, 10:41:58 pm »

119. In any game where you have the option of rescuing survivors, you may not, at any point, use them as walking bombs just because you have to go into a large crowd of enemies and have a bomb and survivor on hand.
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Roundabout Lout

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #93 on: August 11, 2011, 11:25:55 pm »

121. No getting your friend's character drunk while he's not actively playing, and whoring out his unconscious body to various lowlifes for some quick pocket change.
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Fniff

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #94 on: August 11, 2011, 11:30:08 pm »

122. Understand that just because an adventure is not stated to be serious doesn't mean it's not.
123. Stop murdering people in list via the ABCs, i.e killing a guy named Alan, then Brian, then Carol, etc.

Lillipad

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #95 on: August 11, 2011, 11:56:06 pm »

123. Stop murdering people in list via the ABCs, i.e killing a guy named Alan, then Brian, then Carol, etc.

123a. This rule may be broken so long as they are Alan, Brian, and Carol from accounting. You know the ones.

This is my stance on the two 119s. You edited that post way too much for me to care at that point Itne.
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Heliman

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #96 on: August 12, 2011, 12:19:35 am »

124. During an exorcism, the Dread Book of Discordia is not a viable substitution for the Bible.
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TherosPherae

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #97 on: August 12, 2011, 12:38:21 am »

124b. Neither is the Necronomicon.
125. Nyan Cat is not an acceptable form of torture, both ingame and against the GM.
126. No matter how low their INT stat, that NPC will notice if you light them on fire.
127. Gnomes make rolls for seduction, no matter how high your charisma is and how much she thinks you're "luvvy wubby adorable."
128. At the end of the game, you may not request that your character require as a garden gnome.
129. The ghast does not fear vacuums.
130. If your character starts with a chainsaw, they are automatically vetoed.
131. Your character is not allowed to be drunk, especially if they are the team's bomb defusing specialist.
132. A viable solution to an army of orcs marching on your position is not "run up, kick the leader in the balls, and run away," no matter how fast you can run compared to him.
133. Yes, you still have to make a seduction check against she-orcs.
134. That whale is not a lady of the night, and you will not attempt to make her one.
135. You will not seduce the whale.
136. You are not to name your narwhal Charlie.
136b. Nor are you to steal his kidneys.
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Aklyon

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #98 on: August 12, 2011, 12:41:01 am »

But what about convincing the whale to do the seducing?
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Lillipad

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #99 on: August 12, 2011, 01:01:36 am »

You'd need to seduce the whale into doing the seducing though.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #100 on: August 12, 2011, 01:27:55 am »

137. In mech(a) campaign settings, I'm not allowed to place makings for s'mores all over the heat-sinks of my mech(a) so I can have an after-battle snack.
 137a. Same goes for bacon; although I would admit, it makes my mech(a) smell a whole lot better.
 137b. If assigned on a mission during a holiday, I'm not allowed to cook a turkey this way either.
138. Hacking into my enemy's mainframe computer and plastering his combat interface(s) with porn is against regulations.
139. There are no trampolines big enough nor sturdy enough to support your mech(a), I don't care if you can even afford to make one. Just, no.
140. If attempting to hijack/destroy another person's mech(a) on foot, no matter how fitting it may seem, I am not allowed to broadcast music from "Shadow of the Colossus" on all channels.
141. If ever assigned to wear a skin-tight 'plugsuit', I'm not allowed to re-enact Ned Flanders's "It's Like I'm Wearing Nothing at All! Nothing at All! Nothing at All!" routine.
 141a. Stupid Sexy Flanders. >_<
142. Even if my beam weapon is capable of doing so, I am not allowed to write my signature on the moon.
 142a. Or etch an Awesomeface on it while I'm at it.
 142b. Etching goatse from a crater is really uncalled for.
143. No matter how awesome it may be, no, my mech(a) is not allowed to wear giant sunglasses.
 143a. Nor use them as a boomerang/sword.
144. My pursuers' hunting/tracking dogs are not a reliable source of food.

EDIT:
Moved to next post.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2011, 01:13:19 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Evergod41

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #101 on: August 12, 2011, 02:14:30 am »

145. Just because you have the ability to create anything ever, doesn't mean you can...
146. The same goes for destroying everything.
147. There are some limitations to RTD's, and even though you CAN do anything, you will still have reprecussions if you do something you naturally shouldn't.
148. Just because the DM lets you sell pl0t important items and start a trade caravan, doesn't mean it's a good idea. Though if the DM doesn't stop you with more pl0t, you should just stop playing.

Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #102 on: August 12, 2011, 02:19:43 am »

Might as well, I guess.

149. Disguised as a guard during infiltration, I'm not allowed to offer my cyanide pill(s) as Pez.
 149a. Same with LSD as breath strips or Altoids.
150. Exploration doesn't count when you toss a cat down a bottomless pit.
151. When facing giant bugs, I'm not allowed to bring a barrel of butter and boxes of spices and lemons with me.
 151a. Using my jump jets or propulsion device, or dipping my already red-hot heat-sinks (redlining by firing energy weapons non-stop into the water and then switching places) into the local lake to boil those bugs is also against regulations.
152. I'm not allowed to egg the enemy base with the local large reptile's (think T-Rex) eggs.
153. Even during downtime, I'm not allowed to take my mech(a) with me on golfing trips.
154. I'm not allowed to play a Fantasy Football variant regarding betting on soldiers/players assigned on the field.
155. I'm not allowed to make any "Buns of Steel" jokes regarding armor or mech(a).
 155a. Especially if I do so to pick up women.
156. Acting like Johnny Bravo does not qualify as being a Succubus or Amazon repellant.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2011, 02:36:14 am by Itnetlolor »
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Lillipad

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #103 on: August 12, 2011, 04:50:42 am »

157. When playing as an enemy player against the established "good guy" who you wanted to be a part of, you may not sabotage the other people on your side just because you want to help the "good guys."
158. When playing a mime you may only speak when spoken to, or is required.
159. Teaching a cat to sing is never a good idea, so don't do it.
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Strife26

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #104 on: August 12, 2011, 05:34:36 am »

160. There is no 120.
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