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[ImBocaire]

Young Cerol Facegorges, born in the year 4, was destined for a life of luxury, influence, and power. Her mother was the first queen of the Dwarven civilization The Girders of Romancing, Amost Roadtempest, and as the eldest daughter, Cerol was first in line for the throne.



Fate, however, had a different plan for young Cerol.


In the year 6, bypassing the defenses of the yet-fledgling fortress of Dyeseized, the goblin Nguslu Doomscale managed to snatch the royal toddler from under the nose of her mother and father. Fleeing back to his hometown, Bodicejackal, he set to his fell task of attempting to turn the princess into a loyal member and eventual war leader of The Spidery Evils.



Goblins, however, are not known for their watchful child-care. Another goblin, one Ngokang Flymarket, snuck into the dark fortress of Bodicejackal and seized the precious princess, determined to score a blow against both The Girders of Romancing and The Spidery Evils. It was all for the eventual glory of his own native Scalefly, capital of The Hatred of Lines.



But then... well, things get a little crazy here. Let's see if we can't condense this a bit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

For those keeping track, that's eleven abductions in ten years, many by people who had abducted her before.

Finally, once she turned twelve, other goblin civilizations lost interest in her, and she managed to find some stability. After a stint as a ranger, she became a farmer in Wraithmerged, took part in a battle against elves, murdered two goblins, and finally died of old age, apparently never once looking back on the life she was taken from so early.





Of special note is the elf Emofe Inchdrinks. I looked her up after it became clear that she was killed in battle, and this is what I found.



Whether it was dwarven blood or goblin conditioning that led Cerol to make that strike: you go, girl.

[Pan]

Astounding.

[Smurfdor]

You better get some goddamn engravings of this

[franti]

I'd say this is almost up there with Cacame. Lets get some fan art up in here.

[RAKninja]

i wish my own worlds' goblins were such ACTIVE snatchers.

ive yet to see a successful abduction in legends.

[ImBocaire]

I checked up some on some of the other names that showed up in her legends file.

Nguslu Doompraise the Lamented Coincidence gave up snatching in 25 to become a ranger, and racked up a kill list that included fourteen elves (including the just-anointed druid, Laci Voicednut, in 57), and murdered five fellow goblins before eventually being killed by a giant in the year 200.

Ngokang Flymarket gave up snatching in 24, after twenty successful abductions. He was murdered by one Atu Malignedgulf in Scalefly, in the year 41.

Nguslu Doomscale, who originally kidnapped the princess from the mountainhome, gave up snatching in 20 to become a farmer, before dying rather anticlimactically to a grizzly bear in 57 during a stint as a scout.

The battle in which Cerol killed the elven queen was called The Siege of Gales. It was the first battle in The War of Assaulting between The Lucid Scourge on The Rock of Freckles. Despite Cerol's slaying of the queen, the battle ended in a loss for the attacking goblin army, thanks to the elves' animal warriors. The war lasted five battles and four years; the goblins' attacking force lost all but one of the battles, and ended up suing for peace.

Amost Roadtempest, the princess's mother, ruled for a hundred and eighteen years, killing three goblins and four trolls, and managing to escape from a minotaur and a hydra (although the hydra ripped her left upper leg). One of the goblins she killed was none other than Zolak Throwjackal, who was in fact the third goblin to abduct Cerol. I'm not actually sure if that counts as revenge or not.

Her husband, Nil Heatsteels, apparently chafed early on at the royal life, and became an adventurer in the year 9. He died in 10 to a giantess, without a single kill to his name.

Finally, since there's no way I'm not going to make a fortress with this civilization now, I checked the current ruler. He's a hammerdwarf-king, and his name is Urist Copperfight, which is just about one of the dwarviest names I've ever encountered.

[franti]

Give him full Copper armour when he arrives, but also Adamantine Clothes, to make sure he doesn't die.

[ImBocaire]

Hah, I've never gotten a king to arrive. Also, 150 years is about the limit for dwarves... I wouldn't be surprised if he were DOA.


I just love the fact that the mother of the kidnapped princess killed one of her daughter's kidnappers without even knowing.

[RAKninja]

the battle ended in a loss for the attacking goblin army, thanks to the elves' animal warriors.

i can tell you from experience at overseeing goblin towers, this is how it plays out in fortress mode as well.  war troll != war rhino.  war troll != war giant badger

[ImBocaire]

The thing is, there was one battle in that war that was marked as a loss for the goblin army, despite all but two defenders dying and only one goblin loss (and it wasn't even an important goblin). Wimps.

[Corneria]

I love legends so much.

[franti]

War Trolls are better than War Dogs, but I doubt they're better than War Rhinos. The elves I fought had War Leopards, which weren't that great.

[RAKninja]

War Trolls are better than War Dogs, but I doubt they're better than War Rhinos. The elves I fought had War Leopards, which weren't that great.

war giant leopards, on the other hand......

my last test tower (not the current one) was plagued by elves who only used giant animals and rhinos.

bastard elves.

[franti]

Those Trolls are actually pretty crappy. I wish you could give them armour/weapons.