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[Fniff]

I grabbed a chair and two lumps of coal, and I got a laser pointer.

"Tim, the fuck?"

"It distracts NPCs but not the GM, apparently. Just use it."

I pulled the brakes, and the train skidded. For some reason, it then jump-started and kept going, and the lever for the brakes snapped off.

Last chance! Say you are sorry!

[Furtuka]

Climb on top of the train

Send Tim the lever

[filiusenox]

Shine it in the eyes of the pilot of the helicopter.

[Fniff]

I shined a light in the eyes of the pilot, causing him to be distracted and crash the helicopter.

Uhhhh...

I sent the lever to Tim.

"Can't do anything with just one item. You know, Tom, I am considering a change of name. Tim's kinda stupid, since it's my actual name, so how about Zane? Like, you know, Alan Wake? Or maybe Overwatch. Zane sounds kinda cool, but Overwatch sounds completely badass. You know?"

I ignored his babblings and got to the top of the train. The wind howled in my ears. Another helicopter fired a missile at the carriage, causing me to go flying onto the ground. I landed with a yell onto the ground.

Alright, you little idiot, the cops decide not to arrest you because you aren't really worth it. Now you are already late to work and you are going to lose your job unless you hurry up. Are you happy now?

[Phantom]

"Eeyup, GM.

And Tim, you can't be Alan Wake or the dispatcher from Half Life 2."

Hrm...
Give him the Laser Pointer and Double Tap!

[Furtuka]

Keep the double tap

Send him some shrapnel

[Fniff]

"I have to admit, GM, this might have been the best time I have ever had."

... Fuck you.

"Oh, looks like the GM is having a tantrum. He actually swore!"

"Speaking of, Tim, you can't be Thomas Zane or the dispatcher from Half Life 2. It's like trying to be Obi-Wan or something."

"... I have dreams! *Sob*"

"Of what? Being a poet fighting the darkness in a lake instructing some clueless hack or a robotic voice? You have strange dreams."

Sighing, I sent the Laser Pointer and some shrapnel. I got a much bigger laser pointer.

"... Tim, why do you even send me these?"

"Trust me, it's really useful. It can't distract NPCs, but it can distract the GM! Just point out plot holes and boom. He's distracted for one turn with no effort on your part!"

"One turn?"

"It's a measurement of time around here. Don't worry about it."

[Furtuka]

Take a nap

[Roboboy33]

point laser at the fact crashed helicopter is gone.

go into sewers

[Furtuka]

No point it at the fact that a POLICE helicopter was carrying missiles! And that it fired upon a train full of civilians.

[Fniff]

I pointed at the crashed helicopter, or the lack thereof. I also noted the train, filled with civilians that were currently panicking, and the fact that it launched a missile despite it being a police helicopter.

Well, uh, it's... uh...

I ran into the sewers while the GM was still thinking of an explanation for his crappy plot.

Hey, where are you?

"Hmm. That is interesting. It seems you just entered some sort of safe haven. Like in Alan Wake. Also, I'm Overwatch now. Overwatch Zane, poetic dispatch unit."

"Tim, shut up."

"It's Zan-- Ah nevermind. Anyway, this place seems to be away from the GM's all-seeing eye. You can pretty much do anything here without being blocked by the GM."

"Okay then. Say, you any good at reading aloud?"

"Yep. Why?"

"Would you mind reading TV Tropes articles? For no reason?"

"... Hell, why not. Alright, this one is the page for Dwarf Fortress. Slaves to Armok II: Dwarf Fortress is two games: the game it is right now, and the game it hopes to be. Its goal is to be nothing less than a fantasy world simulator, simulating dozens of nations and hundreds of thousands of characters over a thousand years..."

And then, I slept to Tim reading out articles.

When I awoke, the dawn light shining down from the entrance to the sewers demonstrated it was early morning now.

"Lampshaded... *Yawn*... here, in the.... Principle of....*Snore*"

[Roboboy33]

give tim a rock, some sewage, a piece of that broken beer bottle, and some of that sunshine.

[Furtuka]

Send Tim a TON of gross sewage stuff and slime to gross him into waking up

[Fniff]

I decided to play a little trick. How would he feel about the smell of stale beer, sewage and sunshine? He'd vomit and wake up! It'd be awesome.

I held it up, and it disappeared. Two seconds later, it all landed on my head. I was covered in sewage, sunshine and glass.

"Huh? Oh, hey dude. Man, I could use a snack. Hey, they have all kinds of shit here! Weed, beer, doritos... it's like a wonderland. *Munch* Oh, I kinda rewired the system so that when I slept the stuff you sent would be teleported back to you. How are you?"

"Shit." I frowned

"Looking at these cameras, I can see that."

[Roboboy33]

now that hes awake, send the stuff again.