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[Fniff]

I felt like I just spent the night in a ditch while several animals had nested in my mouth. I was floating in a strange white void, and I couldn't move my head. Before I could properly wake up, a strange but commanding voice talked to me.

You are Thomas, and you work for the railroad. You are in your apartment, just out of bed, and waiting to go to work. What do you do?

The white void shifted, and now I was in an apartment. There was only a bed and a clock, that only said "Time For Work!". Even the walls didn't have much detail, and the bed was the most boring one I've ever seen. I heard something buzz under the bed. I ducked down and found a radio.

"Hey, Major Tom! I'm your voice with an internet connection, here. You can call me Tim. Now, you need to do something. That guy you just heard? You need to break out of his story, which we are currently in. He's going to try and make sure you follow the story, but I can help. I can make items that prevent the usual attempts at making sure you stick to the rails, but the problem is I need objects from the game itself to craft them. Don't worry, you just gather them and I'll get them, then give the results back to you. For now, I'll just give you a tip: The GM is very easily distracted. I don't really know how to distract him, but you can probably come up with that yourself. Tim out."

"Hey, where am I?" I asked. "What happened? I was just in my room! Now I'm here!"

"Don't ask me, buddy, I was just browsing TV Tropes when I wake up in this nasty hotel room with some radio equipment and a crafting station. You figure it out. Still, surprising you can still remember stuff. Out."

[Furtuka]

Decide not to go to work

[Elfeater]

Decide not to go to work

YES this

[Phantom]

How outlandishly simple.
Look, why don't you walk outside first? Gotta be something out there.

[Fniff]

This seemed pretty simple at the time. Don't go to work. Got it. No problemo.

You have to go to work! You'll lose your job otherwise! You do not want to lose your job!

... Damn.

"You really thought it was going to be that simple? Grow up. Anyway, can't you think of anything smarter to do here?"

"I dunno, why can't you tell me what to do?"

"You should be glad I'm even talking to you at all. I have an Ipad with a charger. Thank God this place has an outlet, or I would have frankly died of boredom. Anyway, I can't think of crap for you. I have to attend to my addiction. Unless you can do better then TV Tropes, you're on your own in terms of actually escaping."

"You are an asshole, Tim."

"An asshole who is your only source of info, kid. Get with the program."

I decided to walk outside the apartment, which for some reason had some fur rugs, a broken traffic light and a briefcase.

You walk out of your apartment, obviously going to work. Some random junk is here, completely useless. The landlord's door is right ahead of you.

[Phantom]

Go to the Landlord's office and negotiate the rent.

"Also, hey, Tim, read Cracked or something. It'll be like replacing cocaine with meth, but it gets you off TV tropes!"

[peglegpengeuin]

We can't just ask Tim for plot? Plot is very useful. Also, we need to distract the GM. Perhaps, if we concentrate really really hard, we can materialize a squirrel. Then the GM will have to focus on the squirrel, and we'll be free for a short time to do as we please.

[Furtuka]

Gather up the random junk and send it to-


...Ask Tim how to send items to him

[Fniff]

"Tim, what in God's name is the plot of this stupid thing?"

"As far as I can tell, it's leading up to some shit going down at the train station, and your landlord is probably going to say that your rent is late and kick you out. Other then that, I dunno."

"Also, hey, Tim, read Cracked or something. It'll be like replacing cocaine with meth, but it gets you off TV tropes!"

"Oh, I guess I'll do t-- Oh wait, I've got it open in another tab! Just so you know, I also read Stumbleupon, Fark, Funny or Die, Wikipedia and all of it's derivatives. You can't win.

I picked up the junk and then wondered what I was supposed to do with it. Then it vanished in a flash of light, and was replaced with a revolver.

"This is what I like to call the Double-Tap gun. Basically, shoot anyone with it and they can't come back to life. Instantly works, armor or not, and has infinite ammo. Get rid of an annoying plot important NPC, or kill a villain two weeks early! It's a pretty cool gun. Eh, destroys railroads and doesn't afraid of anything."

"Tim, I hate you."

"Get used to it. Out."

I shrugged and knocked on the door of the landlord. A strange very generic man walked out.

You knock on the door, and your landlord walks out. "Hey, your rent is late! I'm kicking you out!" Oh no!

"Told you."

[Phantom]

"Damn, you're good, Tim."

Aaaanyway...
SPIT IN LANDLORDS FACE.
And then leave.

Now, screw the Railroads, they don't pay much. HIJACKING a TRAIN, though...

[PyroDesu]

SHOOT HIM!

[Furtuka]

Shoot the landlord steal the deed to the apartments and claim it for yourself

[Fniff]

I spat in the man's face. Then I shot him, and stole the deeds of the apartment.

Wait, what?

I then ran outside towards a train station and hijacked a train. The train went at 100MPH, the terrified occupants in the ride of their lives.

Uh, a police helicopter flies by the train and is going to kill you! Unless you say that you didn't do that! Then we can do this all over again!

"*Laughs* Well, my man, you have turned out to be more badass then I thought."

"Nice prediction about the landlord, and your web skills, it seems."

"Thank you, I try my best as a troper."

A police helicopter flew by the carriage I was in, peppering it with bullets. I ducked to the ground, and I heard the bullets zoom just above.

[Phantom]

Police, how easy. In text, this will be VERY easy.

Now, simply break the brakes on the train and turn it into a Coaster, and make your way to the back of the train. It'll be like the Great Escape.

[Furtuka]

And send Tim a chair and some coal!