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Author Topic: A dumb Titan and dumber marksdwarves  (Read 991 times)

ThatAussieGuy

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A dumb Titan and dumber marksdwarves
« on: August 06, 2011, 10:29:32 am »

This was just so sad and stupid i had to share it.

A hill titan turned up on the doorstep of Knifemurders.


 "Fine. Off go the marksdwarves.  It's made of salt and they need the practice".  So i went off to do other things and i looked back to see where it was.  The damn titan had wandered right into the channel of the magma cistern release. 



Wanting a chuckle, and not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, i ordered the lever pulled.  Unfortunately, the marksdwarf squad wandered into the channel after the damn titan (despite attempts to change their orders to be stationed well away).  They entered right at the moment a random dwarf came down the staircase and pulled the magma lever.



it immediately melted one poor dwarf that somehow got behind the titan, and the others decided they'd idiotically valiantly stand in the channel and shoot at the burning titan, despite the approaching lava.



The outcome was pretty much as-expected from the moment Urist McPuller released the magma.


The end result;  one dead titan, four melted dwarves and one overseer facepalming.  May the next members of The Occult Razors be wiser.



FuzzyZergling

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Re: A dumb Titan and dumber marksdwarves
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2011, 11:05:51 am »

Military dwarves will charge at any enemy they are aware of when they're on duty.
If you want them to retreat, put them in civilian mode.
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IT 000

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Re: A dumb Titan and dumber marksdwarves
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2011, 12:01:19 pm »

Also it was made of salt. inorganic non-metal beasts are very weak. I've seen a chicken kill one on a counterstrike.
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Tharwen

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Re: A dumb Titan and dumber marksdwarves
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2011, 12:04:07 pm »

NEVER touch the magma lever until all the useful dwarves are in the airtight bunker deep underground. That's the first rule of engineering and you should have had it buried deep in your skull at the Dwarven Institute of Really Bad Ideas.
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Corneria

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Re: A dumb Titan and dumber marksdwarves
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2011, 02:28:34 pm »

How does Nish Lolormozir feel about this?
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Sugata-senpai

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Re: A dumb Titan and dumber marksdwarves
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2011, 04:32:07 pm »

NEVER Always touch the magma lever until before all the useful dwarves are in the airtight bunker deep underground. That's the first rule of dwarven engineering and you should have had it buried deep in your skull at the Dwarven Institute of Really Bad Good Ideas.

Fixed
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Me: I'll kill you... I'll kill you all!!!! Mwahahahahahaha!!!...

UristMcRandomNurse: Sir, patient 137 is laughing maniacially again.

UristMcDoctor: Don't worry, if we just ignore him he'll calm down and go back to playing Dwarf Fortress.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: A dumb Titan and dumber marksdwarves
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2011, 09:24:14 pm »

To be fair, the rest of the dwarves were underground and i was just about to call off the marksdwarves when they blundered into the magma channel.  After that, my first thought was "oh crap, better call off pulling the lever".  Which is when said Urist McPuller came down the stairs and pulled it.  Oh, and i know salt beasts are pathetically weak, but it had spittle so i sent marksdwarves in case.  That and they needed training. 

and Nish Lozomir was last seen grumbling "idiot marksdwarves" before going back to making more bone crossbows (mostly Crundle and Giant Eagle) for the next batch of "lucky" marksdwarf recruits.