Its
!!ROLLING!! !!TIME!!I am new to this, do you mind? However, I do Professional Science.
!!NAME!!: Pneumony S Georgiev. Mr.
!!GENDER!!: Male
!!KIND!!: Not yet a PhD. Dammit.
!!BIO!!: Pneumony until recently worked for the only commercial entity attempting to weaponise traditional folk music, FolkCorp, and is a specialist in the field of the accordion and its effect on primates. Although he has been studying the accordion and its potentially fatal effects for years, he has yet to be awarded a PhD for his groundbreaking work. Is he bitter about this? Not at all. Go on then - just a bit. He always carries an accordion, a notepad, a pencil, and bitterness, generally towards... well, actually, towards anyone who doesn't truly appreciate the accordion. He could probably weaponise himself talking about the accordion, too.
Pneumony sits down at his desk and, whilst stirring his sugary black tea absent-mindedly, calls Experimental Support for another batch of a dozen monkeys to be sent up.
(4) This time you didnt type the number wrong! Half an hour later, your monkeys come in cages, they are stowed in the lab next to your office, happy
!!SCIENCE!!Sir Dr. Mr. Edgeworth Coddlepot Leroy Nimoy *Two gunshots* Iddlefritz Narmy Parmy Barmy Jenkins *Police Whistle* Mary Sue Hatchington Torid Jacky Tallowits Beryl *Cry of the Marsh Lion* Simon Bathtowel the Negative Tenth, Esquire. Rested in uffish though in the shadow of the coffee maker. Gencorp had a perpetual motion coffee maker, NASA had a robot that could fold a single bath towel in half an hour, and Victoria's secret had a thong made out of candy floss.
Such silly inventions made him grind his teeth that he had not thought of them first... but he'd show them... he'd show them all! He'd make a candy floss robot that could perpetually fold thongs!
Hmm... No, too unoriginal... but perhaps originality was not what was needed, perhaps... yes... this would do indeed.
Head to the lab! Check Ebay for the prices on impossibly strong and all-but-perfectly rigid glass. That done equip bunny slippers of !!Science!! and put the string quartet version of the funky chicken on at 95 decibels.
(2)You search EBay for strong and not-perfectly rigid glass, but you only find some cheap bargain rip-off, you slip into your protective bunny slippers of !!SCIENCE!! and turn on some horrible piece of folk music, your glasses violently shatter and explodes in your face
Your vision is blurred, you are blind!! Your face is horribly cut up!! you call for the medical assistance monkeys, (3) they come, but the music is so horrible that they pass out, 3 hours later it finally ends, and the musical disaster rescue team comes.. and.. saves you. The plastic surgeons failed (2) at restoring your face, so now you look like, and have the voice of
!!EDUARD KHIL!!, perfect for your !!SCIENCE!!.
May I join please?
!!Name!!:Hanser Junkut
!!Gender!!:Male
!!Kind!!:Viking Researcher
!!Bio!!:Hanser worked to research a way for a modern gun to fire axes, but unfortunately the research company he was working for, Scandinavcorp cut his funding in favor of a emp axe that jammed cell phone signals. Since then he is now reserching a way to make shields deflect bullets from proper English Gentlemen and has been working with the researcher of the emp axe to finish both products.
Ask the Human Resources department to get him a 6-pack of gentlemen and make them fire bullets at the shield to test it.
(3) you call the wrong department, the james bond department, so now 6 james bonds are coming, armed with pistols, and
!!LESSER THERMONUCLEAR DEVICES!! and
!!BAGELS!! but atleast they are english.. right? They arrive, fire some bullets at your shield(1), the bullets penetrate the shield, and
!!HORRIBLY FUCKS YOU UP!!. The british agents plant
ALL of the nuclear devices, ominous beeping drives you mad.
!!YOU ARE NEAR DEATH!! A stupid redneck runs into the lab, throws a beaker, splashing everything in acid, including you, but you are a badass viking, (4) you resist the acid! Your clothes dosent, though.
In an attempt to save the lab, Perry Poo mixes attempts to create a powerful acid, (5) and succeeds, the bubbling mixture spills everywhere as Perry Poo races down the hall, throws the beaker into the room, the vile mixture splashes everything, dissolving the nuclear beeping pastry cakes, the agents and Hanser Junkut, Perry is also caught in the splash and looses a leg, his face becomes horribly disfigured!! The agents dissolve into a horrible bloody mass, the Perry Poo's leg horribly dissolves into a bloody mass, the Hanser Junkuts clothes dissolve into a horrible brown mass, revealing his hairy details, it smells of synthetic leather now!
Events in this round:
Sir Dr. Mr. Edgeworth Coddlepot Leroy Nimoy *Two gunshots* Iddlefritz Narmy Parmy Barmy Jenkins *Police Whistle* Mary Sue Hatchington Torid Jacky Tallowits Beryl *Cry of the Marsh Lion* Simon Bathtowel the Negative Tenth, Esquire is now
!!EDUARD KHIL!!Hanser Junkut lost his clothes!!Perry poo's face is disfigured, is missing a left leg, screams in pain.
Score for this round:
Succesful transfer of lab monkeys +1
Horrible lab accident 1 -1
Horrible lab accident 2 -1
Loss of 6 fine agents and 6 horribly expensive thermonuclear devices -1
Total: -2
Better gotta get that score up, else there is no payment on page 2!
Author
Topic: Roll to !!SCIENCE!! (Read 5455 times)