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[Hubris Incalculable]

Well, you'll be waiting a while... turnover isn't too fast, b/c of update rate....

[MonkeyHead]

People just need to make more adventerous choices.

[Tiruin]

Well, you'll be waiting a while... turnover isn't too fast, b/c of update rate....

Doesn't matter, I enjoy watching other dwarves here. 

[monk12]

People just need to make more adventerous choices.

Because that's working out so well for Yoink

Speaking of... YOINK! USE YOUR SECRET MILKING TECHNIQUE! IT'S THE ONLY WAY!

[IronyOwl]

It's okay. The moongoose comes for us all in the end.

[Bardum Idith]

Milkerbump?

[Yoink]

"Gllbhlblbbhhgh!!"
Rovod wraps his arms around the dastardly mermaid's throat. choking her in a desperate attempt to get free!
Wait! No!

Speaking of... YOINK! USE YOUR SECRET MILKING TECHNIQUE! IT'S THE ONLY WAY!

He does that instead, distracting the mermaid long enough to get free! Unless of course that's too NSFW! In which case he does the first idea!

[Bardum Idith]

Weaponize incoming stomach revolutions by vomiting onto Sibrek. Then after her with empty stomach!

running check: d12=10, d12=6
You catch up with Sibrek and make ready to shoot her with your stomach contents...

I jump in front of him flailing.

running check: d12=10, d12=8
Guydon runs in front of Zan and flails.

hit: d12-1=3, evade: d12=10
hit: d12-3=4, evade: d12=2
The flying vomit shoots past him and hits Sibrek! She and Zan are hurt by the vomit(ing)!


hit: d12-2=-1, evade: d12=9
Sibrek throws her dagger at Zan but he steps aside.

Zan Malicepowder, Potash maker, is a Novice Dodger now!

>_

Tale a look around the area, to get a quick estimation of what the surrounding land might be worth.
Count the surrounding trees as well, as they are a valuable exploitable resource.

appraising check: d12=1, d12=10
Walking around you count 20? trees and find 1? entrance to something underground.
You estimate the land to be worth about 40 dwarfbucks.

>_

He does that instead, distracting the mermaid long enough to get free! Unless of course that's too NSFW! In which case he does the first idea!

You use your milking skills to indecently "distract" Vlujha...


hit: d12=12, evade: d12-2=7, dmg: 1d4/0.7=4
It works! Instead of carrying you around she furiously punches you in the face for 4 points of damage!

>_

Spoiler: Vlujha (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Armor:
(6) head: 0.7
(5) arms: 1.0
(3-4) upper body: 1.0
(1-2) tail: 0.8

Attacks:
punch: hit +0, 1d4 dmg
slap: hit -1, 1d5 dmg

Equipment:
algae bra (worn)

Spoiler: Sibrek (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10

Equipment:
copper spear: hit+1, 1d4+1 dmg
copper knife: hit+0, 2d2 dmg
worn old pig tail dress

Spoiler: Zan Malicepowder (click to show/hide)

HP: 3/10

Skills:
Competent Potash maker (+3)
Novice Drummer (+1)
Novice Tracker (+1)
Novice Dodger (+1)

Inventory:
bone: hit-1, 1d5 dmg (wielded)
pig tail coat (worn)
2 potash bars
mermaid bone fragment
raw longnose gar

Spoiler: Rovod Roofpulleys (click to show/hide)

HP: 1/10

Skills:
Competent Milker (+3)
Novice Wrestler (+1)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
empty tower cap flask
moongoose feather

Spoiler: Guydon Moistbodies (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10

Skills:
Competent Presser (+3)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
rock nut oil covering (beard)
empty black-cap flask
Cave Ogre Nut

Spoiler: Odok Flameburns (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Skills:
Proficient Record keeper (+5)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
small bronze chisel

[Armok]

I shake him while yelling "Get ahold of yerself!"

[Ultimuh]

Carefully take a peek inside, who knows what might be lurking by the entrances of forts.

[Haspen]

Zan gently screams back, "SHE IS ZOMBISM CARRIER"

Then he proceeds to club Sibrek with his bone.

[Askot Bokbondeler]

Askot, make a cameo

[Yoink]

Swim! Swiiim! Swim like you've never swam before, Rovod! Wait, no; swim like you're a Legendary +5 Swimmer! Get out of there!

Rovod's mind fills with the panicked thought that he might never again taste a lovely drink of bear milk, that he might never reach the fortress, that he might drown here, never again to caress any sweet, sweet mammary glands... He strikes out for the surface, filled with determination to survive!!

[Bardum Idith]

I shake him while yelling "Get ahold of yerself!"

pacifying check: d12=1, d12=6
You violently shout at Zan but he remains unimpressed.

Guydon Moistbodies, Presser, is a Novice Voicedwarf now!

>_

Zan gently screams back, "SHE IS ZOMBISM CARRIER"

Then he proceeds to club Sibrek with his bone.

You warn Guydon about the risks of zombie infection and charge at Sibrek.
hit: d12=10, evade: d12=9, dmg: 1d5/1=4
hit: d12+1=7, evade: d12+1=8
You hit her at the chest with your mighty bone while she is trying to grab you!

>_

Carefully take a peek inside, who knows what might be lurking by the entrances of forts.

Peeking into the cave you see somebody peeking out of a hole. Somewhere else several people are shouting.

>_

Swim! Swiiim! Swim like you've never swam before, Rovod! Wait, no; swim like you're a Legendary +5 Swimmer! Get out of there!

swimming check: d12=11, d12=8
Swimming like a Legendary Novice Swimmer you make it to the shore with your last bit of strength. You can see a hostile humanoid shape in the water.

Rovod Roofpulleys, Milker, is a Novice Swimmer now!

>_

Spoiler: Sibrek (click to show/hide)

HP: 2/10

Equipment:
worn old pig tail dress

Spoiler: Zan Malicepowder (click to show/hide)

HP: 3/10

Skills:
Competent Potash maker (+3)
Novice Drummer (+1)
Novice Tracker (+1)
Novice Dodger (+1)

Inventory:
bone: hit-1, 1d5 dmg (wielded)
pig tail coat (worn)
2 potash bars
mermaid bone fragment
raw longnose gar

Spoiler: Rovod Roofpulleys (click to show/hide)

HP: 1/10

Skills:
Competent Milker (+3)
Novice Wrestler (+1)
Novice Swimmer (+1)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
empty tower cap flask
moongoose feather

Spoiler: Guydon Moistbodies (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10

Skills:
Competent Presser (+3)
Novice Voicedwarf (+1)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
rock nut oil covering (beard)
empty black-cap flask
Cave Ogre Nut

Spoiler: Odok Flameburns (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Skills:
Proficient Record keeper (+5)

Inventory:
pig tail coat (worn)
small bronze chisel

[Haspen]

Give her three seconds to say whatever she wants. THEN HIT AGAIN.