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Author Topic: Universal Dorfen Constants  (Read 3061 times)

dragoncurse

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #30 on: August 04, 2011, 02:41:09 am »

1st Universal Dwarven Law: Always obey Armok's will.
2nd Universal Dwarven Law: Losing is ALWAYS fun. No exceptions.
3rd Universal Dwarven Law: You must always cut forests.
4th Universal Dwarven Law: Dwarven Science can break an Universal Dwarven Law. No exceptions.
5th Universal Dwarven Law: ALWAYS OBEY ARMOK'S WILL.
6th Universal Dwarven Law: Pig tail are always your first priority, so you can make socks.
7th Universal Dwarven Law: If a Noble request a stupid order, drow him in lava, where everyone can see it.
8th Universal Dwarven Law: Always thank Armok for Goblinite.
9th Universal Dwarven Law: There's always an idiot in the 9th fortress.
10th Universal Dwarven Law: Do not, ever, fight against a badger or a carp.
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Crustypeanut

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #31 on: August 04, 2011, 02:41:46 am »

I would rename this thread but I'm not entirely sure I'd like to contribute to this little meme we've got here.

If you have any sense of mercy please lock this thread now. I'm considering committing honorable seppuku over starting this meme.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Three Laws of Thermodynamics.. but UNLIMITED Laws of --DWARVEN-- Thermodynamics!
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Kay12

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #32 on: August 04, 2011, 02:48:44 am »

About dwarven physics: I actually spent a few minutes today wondering how dwarves can mine out a tile, use the rock to build a wall elsewhere, dismantle the wall and get the rock back, build a workshop out of it, dismantle the workshop, fire the same rock in a catapult, and in the event of the ammo surviving carving three mugs out of it. And basically every other weirdness involving material quantity seeming very variable.

I came to the conclusion that walls aren't actually made of the material they represent. They're composed of shadow matter that fills a fourth dimension only known to dwarves, and therefore called the Dwarf Dimension. For each DF tile, there exists a slot carved in shadow matter that only Dwarves can properly manipulate. Any material inserted into such slot will act like a seed and cause the shadow matter of the tile to mimic the contents of the slot, causing the wall or floor to spontaneously appear as a result of the change. Similarly, the deconstruction (or mining) happens by dislodging the seed, causing the shadow matter to forget the wall and disappear.

Of course, this could apply to workshops as well - how on earth does a dwarf create a workshop from a single rock of granite without changing the rock in any way? Simple - the architect carves the workshop out of shadow matter, and the granite will act as a seed that causes the shop to form.

I also think that mechanisms are wired through the Dwarf Dimension.
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Captain Insano

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #33 on: August 04, 2011, 05:32:12 am »

About dwarven physics: -Snip-


If I could sig this entire thing... I totally would.
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imperium3

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #34 on: August 04, 2011, 06:06:01 am »

Zeroth Law of Dwarven Thermodynamics: Dwarves always flow to the area containing the most FUN.


(@ImBocaire In fact there are four laws of thermodynamics...)
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Kay12

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #35 on: August 04, 2011, 07:03:09 am »

About dwarven physics: -Snip-


If I could sig this entire thing... I totally would.

I'm very glad to see that my crazy theory has gained support! Feel free to expand it... or wait, maybe I'll just create a separate thread and reserve this one for the dwarven laws of thermodynamics?
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Oliolli

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #36 on: August 04, 2011, 09:18:09 am »

About dwarven physics: -Snip-

It... works.

I suppose a *bloated tuber biscuit* is in order here. Congratulations, Kay12!
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Kay12

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #37 on: August 04, 2011, 03:19:30 pm »

It's amazing what a long trip on public transportation will do to one's mind. I bet Newton and Galileo rode the bus all the time.
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g2knee

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #38 on: August 04, 2011, 05:01:36 pm »

Universal Dorfen Constant: All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.
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crekit

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #39 on: August 04, 2011, 09:15:09 pm »

Step 1: Toady introduces new feature.
Step 2: Players weaponize it.
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magistrate101

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #40 on: August 04, 2011, 10:02:36 pm »

Step 1: Toady introduces new feature.
Step 2: Players weaponize it.

sig'd

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #41 on: August 04, 2011, 10:13:44 pm »

Step 1: Toady introduces new feature.
Step 2: Players weaponize it.

Pretty much.
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Kay12

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Re: Universal Dorfen Constants
« Reply #42 on: August 05, 2011, 01:12:02 am »

Weaponizing bees sounds like a terrible idea.

If you listen to those United Civilizations pussies.
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