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Author Topic: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf  (Read 7854 times)

Greymane

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Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« on: August 02, 2011, 02:53:08 am »

I don't recall what his original name was, because he would always be Urist McKenzie to me. From the moment he arrived, Urist began to party. At the dining hall, at the zoo, at the statue garden; there was nowhere this gold-bearded dwarven party god did not baptize with boogie. I am fairly certain he never did a single bit of work, but then it was clear that partying was his profession. Everyone at the fort was his friend and his social skills were legendary. He adopted a stray gorilla and brought it with him everywhere and wore a HFS sock on his right hand, because that was how Urist rolled - in style. So prestigious were Urist McKenzie's partying skills that even when a goblin siege was pushing through the halls and wiping out every dwarf they came across, Urist McKenzie found the courage to throw another party in the civilian evacuation area. He died with booze in his hands and dwarf babes at his side.

Ladies, gentlemen, I should like to propose a new challenge game to you all in honor this great dwarven hero. It shall be known as The Original Party Dwarf Challenge. The challenge is simple enough. You pick one dwarf of your starting seven to be Urist McKenzie and ramp up his social skills and nothing else. Upon embarking, you must switch off all labors of Urist. He should never, at any point, perform a single task that does not involve four things: eating, drinking, sleeping, and PARTYING!

The entire fortress must be centered around ensuring that Urist has as many happening places to party as possible, with enough good booze and good food to keep him going all year round. You must never stop a party that Urist throws or attends, no matter how disruptive it becomes. Additionally, whenever Urist throws a party in a location, you must attempt to rebuild it as a newer, better, bigger incarnation of it for him to party in next time, representing how anywhere the original party dwarf gets his grove on becomes twice as awesome as he was before. You may put up no statues that are no Urist. Anyone at the fortress who does not like Urist is clearly a drag beyond redemption and must be put to death.

For an added bonus, Urist McKenzie may also have a pair of officially designated Floozies, members of the opposite gender who also do no work. Triple points if you can somehow make these an elf and a human, as Urist unites all peoples in party.
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C0NNULL

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2011, 04:44:54 am »

This has a certain amount of fun to it, thusly it is approved as dorf-worthy.

One question, though... Is he the bloke what came by on Sunday? I'm not sure what happened on Sunday, but I missed Monday, so Sunday might have involved a dorf. I recall a party, some poor laid out fortress, dead dorfs and drink. Prolly him. (And a computer died, but it wasn't mine. I have to fix it, but that was the case before it came over to party with us.)

Well, if it weren't 'im, 'is spirits were there.

Now, off to make a world in which he may find blessed parties. Why does this feel like a bad idea, again? Ne'er mind. Most things here sound like bad ideas if you think on them for more than a moment, and I was about to think about this rather than just do it. (Dangerously close to a thought, I got.)
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Rimamused  -  Dorfen Itza

Zeranamu

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2011, 09:04:25 am »

I... actually like this challenge. Something I can do even with my meager talents XD
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UltraValican

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2011, 09:07:17 am »

Mega Bonus points if its a Goblin Babe?
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Lectorog

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2011, 11:17:35 am »

It's cool if he's the mayor, right?
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ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2011, 11:28:03 am »

It's cool if he's the mayor, right?

How else would he mandate non-stop partying?

Greymane

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2011, 12:20:45 pm »

I don't know...

Being Mayor sounds an awful lot like work. Though I suppose it might be unavoidable. After all, who else would a group of dwarves want to lead them? The intelligent, meticulous, dwarf who does all that he can to ensure the lasting survival of the fortress... or the guy who mandates that you need more dancing bears in the ale hall? I think we all know the answer to that.
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ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2011, 09:03:25 pm »

Heh, if he's truly Urist McKenzie he'll die by partying hard enough to cause a cave-in.  Taking a giant slug-like Forgotten Beast with noxious secretions with him

Crustypeanut

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2011, 09:25:14 pm »

Lol this sounds interesting.
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Corneria

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2011, 12:19:33 am »

Challenge accepted.
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buckets

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2011, 12:31:56 am »

Congratulations, you just got me back into the game. Urist McKenzie shall walk these halls.
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zwei

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2011, 02:49:45 am »

This is going to be legen - wait for it - dwarfy.

Dradym

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #12 on: August 03, 2011, 03:54:02 am »

maybe this should be a noble that could be added/modded in. or just always do this with your mayor, or other nobles. sometimes dwarves need a good party, and mingle, rather than being so isolated like how we always make our fortresses...(continues rambling)

so yeah, i approve and when i start a new fortress ill be sure to make my mayor the party dwarf of the millennium(and switch off should the title change hands)
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PeanutBuddha

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #13 on: August 03, 2011, 04:03:44 am »

You've managed to pull me from lurkdom and create an account to say, challenge accepted.


Edit: I decided to change the name, but other than that, he'll live like the drunken champion of partying McKenzie. All hail, Zaphod Berendok!

« Last Edit: August 03, 2011, 04:40:19 am by PeanutBuddha »
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...it basically allows the dwarf to become immune to all weapons and dance around blades like a drunken, steel-plated ballerina who's caving in skulls.  It's glorious.
That pony game is terrible, My pony couldn't even Kick other ponies in the head, tearing a tendon and jamming the skull through the brain :"(

Crustypeanut

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Re: Urist McKenzie, The Original Party Dwarf
« Reply #14 on: August 03, 2011, 04:08:08 am »

You've managed to pull me from lurkdom and create an account to say, challenge accepted.

Peanut Buddha Jelly time!

Lol, welcome to the forums. 
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