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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 474862 times)

Foxite

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Because clowns are not only scary. They are scary as fuck. And this type of clown is not only dangerous. They are dangerous as fuck.

Why are socks so important actually? There's something like pants right? :P
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

origamiscienceguy

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  • WELL! OK THEN!... That was fun.
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Because clowns are not only scary. They are scary as fuck. And this type of clown is not only dangerous. They are dangerous as fuck.

Why are socks so important actually? There's something like pants right? :P
Dwarves get unhappy thoughts if their feet are uncovered.
How to hand-cranked pumps purify water?
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Button

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How do hand-cranked pumps purify water?

The cranking mechanism has nothing to do with it. Screw pumps desalinate via a centrifuge effect - the gears in the pump spin the corkscrew so fast that a dense, soggy brine forms in the outer part of the pump and is flung out. Only the relatively lighter water eventually passes through to the other side.

Why can't we build walls near the edge of an embark?
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I used to work on Modest Mod and Plant Fixes.

Always assume I'm not seriously back

Max™

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Why can't we build walls near the edge of an embark?
There is no room for a dorf to stand on the wrong side of the wall if she has to stand outside of the embark zone to build it.

Why are world-gen forts based around the spiral ramp+surface box/depot design exclusively?
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Foxite

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Because worldgen overseers are stupid and don't know the meaning of "defensive engineering", which is what caused the bug where all worldgen sieges were won by the attackers.

Why can't we engrave constructed walls despite them being made of the same type of stone as the engraved wall right next to it?
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

TheFlame52

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The engraver doesn't want his -engraving- deconstructed.

Why are vampires stupid enough to report their kills from 500 years ago?

Max™

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They're so used to people casually accepting their nature after a while that they never expect an unseen overseer to flip out on them.

I've had a priest tell me that the local ruler didn't matter because "the blood-drinker will not allow the chattel to rise", exact wording, and even after outing the vampire and having it accidentally spit on the lady of the site nobody seemed to care at all... though they got mad when I cut her arms off... the vampire, not the lady, I just left them to their ungratefulness.

Why don't npcs have much concern about known vampires assuming positions in their governments?
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Foxite

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Because they are the nobles, doubting them would surely result in a visit from the local hammerer.

Why do half of the users' profile pics on this forum change every time I refresh the page?
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

UnicodingUnicorn

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They are frightened that if they stare into the abyss too long the abyss might stare right back.

Spoiler: Real answer (click to show/hide)
.

Why isn't letting loose the dogs of war as awesome as it sounds?
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I do stuff, I guess

AdjustingPriorities

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Because it sounds like you've never tried Doberman bombs.


Why can't I fire dwarves from catapults? Make good use of armor menacing with spikes.
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Balance a badly calibrated scale with uneven, unmarked weights until the wires holding up the pans catch on fire.

Due to a modding error, I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder.

Max™

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Clearly you don't watch the insanity that pours out of Rumrusher enough:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why does finding a site with magnetite, marble, magma 15 z down, five nearby dark fortresses, and five towers showing up as neighbors make me so excited?
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Insert_Gnome_Here

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Clearly you don't watch the insanity that pours out of Rumrusher enough:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Can I haz link pleaz?
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Quote from: Max™ on December 06, 2015, 04:09:21 am
Also, if you ever figure out why poets/bards/dancers just randomly start butchering people/getting butchered, please don't fix it, I love never knowing when a dance party will turn into a slaughter.

Button

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Why does finding a site with magnetite, marble, magma 15 z down, five nearby dark fortresses, and five towers showing up as neighbors make me so excited?

Because you have not yet lost the ability to feel joy. (Also, share the save?)

Why do I have to work when I'd rather be playing Dwarf Fortress?
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I used to work on Modest Mod and Plant Fixes.

Always assume I'm not seriously back

Max™

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Clearly you don't watch the insanity that pours out of Rumrusher enough:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Can I haz link pleaz?
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=123944.msg6002254#msg6002254
Why does finding a site with magnetite, marble, magma 15 z down, five nearby dark fortresses, and five towers showing up as neighbors make me so excited?

Because you have not yet lost the ability to feel joy. (Also, share the save?)
I've got several mods in place and it's in progress atm, but the parameters I used tend to produce similar layouts pretty regularly:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Quote
Why do I have to work when I'd rather be playing Dwarf Fortress?
Because you haven't figured out how to get away with playing DF at work. "Oh uh, I'm debugging our accounting software."

Why did it amuse me so much that the entire surviving civilized world population of a 5k megabeast pocket world experiment consisted of 2 kobolds in a cave?
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TheHossofMoss

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  • "Man muss Heu machen, solange die Sonne scheint."
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Clearly you don't watch the insanity that pours out of Rumrusher enough:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Can I haz link pleaz?
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=123944.msg6002254#msg6002254
Why does finding a site with magnetite, marble, magma 15 z down, five nearby dark fortresses, and five towers showing up as neighbors make me so excited?

Because you have not yet lost the ability to feel joy. (Also, share the save?)
I've got several mods in place and it's in progress atm, but the parameters I used tend to produce similar layouts pretty regularly:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Quote
Why do I have to work when I'd rather be playing Dwarf Fortress?
Because you haven't figured out how to get away with playing DF at work. "Oh uh, I'm debugging our accounting software."

Why did it amuse me so much that the entire surviving civilized world population of a 5k megabeast pocket world experiment consisted of 2 kobolds in a cave?

1. Because it IS hilarious. 2. They seem to be the only two people in the world with any sense.

Why hasn't anyone bumped this thread since April 4th?
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On the Fifth Day of Axemas, my love saved the fort from...
Five sieging Werebeasts, four Giant Dingoes, three sneaky Thieves, two drunken Black bears, and a Titan killing spree!
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