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[Quartz_Mace]

Is it? Beard. Beard. Beard. Beard. Beard. Beard.
Cancels answer question: writing beard.

The power of the beard compels you!

Why does the power of the beard compel you?

[FallenAngel]

Because BEARDS!

Why do dwarf-related questions's answers often involve more beards than you'd think?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

A dwarf without a beard is a short human, hence all dwarf questions that disregard beards are human questions.

What happens if an elf grows a beard?

[Quartz_Mace]

Heresy!

What happens when a human grows a beard?

[Badger Storm]

The human is still a human, just with a beard.  Were you expecting "he turns into a dwarf lol"?

Why don't mustaches or sideburns get any love?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

They become a tall dwarf. Ninja'd
It is all in the length, which affects the surface area to volume ratio of the amount of mind controlling substances the organism can release into the enviroment.

What happens when a kobold grows a beard?

[Badger Storm]

It becomes a master thief until it grows too long, after which it trips on the thing and breaks its neck.

If we have dwarven wagons, why can't we play Oregon trail: DF edition?

[Button]

If we have dwarven wagons, why can't we play Oregon trail: DF edition?

You can. It's called "Adventure mode."

Why can't we buy, steal, or tame pack animals in adventure mode?

[pisskop]

Every time I try to whip it for bad behavior, it passes out.

  Why don't dwarves request a profession from the overseer when they arrive?

[Sanctume]

Why don't dwarves request a profession from the overseer when they arrive?

The overseer like in most succession game only care about the grand plan. You want to be a mason? Ok, go build this floor over that magma ditch.

How can I weaponize socks?

[Button]

How can I weaponize socks?

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Danger_room#Coinstar_Room

Why can't dwarves conduct meetings without their hands?

[FallenAngel]

Because the easiest way to talk to liaisons and such is through hand motions, especially ones of a different race.

How does the SMR stay semi-molten?

[Badger Storm]

There is a team of magma gnomes that stirs it at regular intervals, keeping it from hardening completely.

Do magma gnomes like booze as much as their surface-dwelling counterparts?

[FallenAngel]

They prefer to drink molten metal.

Why haven't dwarves learned how to brew meat into booze?

[Goblins]

Ah.  I keep crashing in 40.24.  It's becoming slightly annoying.  Anybody got DF 40.23 or lower hanging around?  I need to downgrade.