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[UnicodingUnicorn]

It's more like cats are the head of the dwarven hivemind.

Then what about the overseers?

[Arcvasti]

Not sure about you, but I play DF with a cat on my lap like a classic Bond-style supervillain.

Why does gelding male animals not produce cookable bodyparts?

[Aslandus]

They're not actually removing anything, just giving a cut to the fertility bits and leaving everything there...

Why can't I milk cows for ice cream in a glacier biome?

[Magistrum]

For the same reason that you can't milk them for hot chocolate on scalding deserts, that is, you wouldn't like it anyway.

Why does my stomach hurts, it's been two days already, so much that I can't even play DF or post right or even think of a question?

[Quartz_Mace]

You're pregnant with a little alcoholic cretin Dorf.

Why don't Dwarves drink more?

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Because they have learned to savor and share their booze because all dwarves should be granted the right to booze and no one should hog it.



Why does a pocket full of sunshine (the drink) not cheer up my depressed dwarf?

[Arcvasti]

Because they're cave adapted and it makes them vomit everywhere.

Why on earth does cave adaptation DO that? I don't think that's how biology works.

[Baffler]

Because they're cave adapted and it makes them vomit everywhere.

Why on earth does cave adaptation DO that? I don't think that's how biology works.

Underground has low levels of light and very little air circulation. Dwarves develop low-light vision (plump helmets are packed with beta carotene!) and their facial follicles become sensitive to the motions that a breeze produces against their beards, which allows them to tell where tunnels turn. As they go deeper, their eyes become less relied upon, and they adapt further to rely on their whisker-based folli-cation. These eventually become so sensitive that, should a dwarf venture outside, the wind is the equivalent of multicolored and varying strobe lights. This is as aggravating to a dwarf's folli-cation as a Pink Floyd show seen while sober is to our sight, up to the point of causing nausea. While some have proposed beard shaving as a method of treating hyper-folli-cation, these people are believed to be elf spies, and drafted to cavern exploring instead.

-Deus Machina, Dwarven Anatomical Researcher.

Why do dwarves make an entire spear out of metal, instead of just the head?

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Because you need the weight to get it stuck that easily in everything 


Why can't you train your dwarves to use throwing spears?

[Bumber]

Because you need the weight to get it stuck that easily in everything 


Why can't you train your dwarves to use throwing spears?

Their arms are too short.

Why don't elves use wagons?

[Badger Storm]

Wagons require wood, and they need that wood for making crappy weapons and armor.

Why do dogs and cats have such outlandish coat coloration?

[FallenAngel]

Secretly, cats and dogs are converted goblin spies. Cats still fulfill one purpose - FPS killing.

Why is it so easy to prepare for a fight against a bronze colossus?

[Badger Storm]

They can only do what they are ordered to do.  They cannot innovate or learn.

How can someone detest hamsters yet like large roaches?

[FallenAngel]

Hamsters found in dwarven fortresses aren't fluffy, cute, and lovable.
They are fluffy beasts prone to gorging themselves on your food en masse.
Of course, clean fortresses have fluffier and cuter ones than unclean ones, but how often do you find spotless forts?
Even if a fort's hamsters become cuter, the dwarves that learned to hate them can never recover...
Oh, and roaches are hardy sons-a-swordsmen, making many dwarves admire their prowess, overlooking their severe lack of physical appearance.

Why are wagons 9 times larger than dragons?

[Badger Storm]

They need to be ready for that one fortress that always orders water buffalo using the highest priority.

Why doesn't Dwarf Fortress have death yaks?