Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Sprin]

My colection of beards I wish to grow

Do lady dwarves have beards?

[Max™]

[BODY_DETAIL_PLAN:FACIAL_HAIR_TISSUE_LAYERS]

How could they do any engraving or distilling without a beard?

[origamiscienceguy]

They would be forced to resort to the humans inefficient method of hand chisels! How terrible!

Why don't humans let their beards do any work?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

You mean why do beards let the humans do the work? It's obvious.

Why do elves get all the cool creatures?

[IndigoFenix]

Dwarves had cool creatures once, but had no use for them except sending them into battle, and they all were killed.

Why don't wild animals attack elves?

[Badger Storm]

They're afraid the tree-humping tendencies are contagious.

How many trained unicorns would it take to defeat the forces of hell?

[origamiscienceguy]

42. That is the point when life is greater than death.

How can Giant Sponges become enraged without having a brain?

[Vndetta]

I've noticed in the new versions (.40+) that my dwarves all are covered in their own tears (visible in the unit's inventory screen)... even relatively happy dwarves. Anyone know why my entire population seems to be weeping? I'm starting to feel like a horrible taskmaster/person, haha. 

[DrTaco]

42. That is the point when life is greater than death.

How can Giant Sponges become enraged without having a brain?

Sponges may not have a brain, but the Dwarves have brains that rarely function properly, so it's pretty much the same as having no brain. And, Dwarves can have a wide variety of emotions while their brain doesn't function, so... Sponges are really Dwarves in their primal state.

Why are Dwarves stupid?

[Aslandus]

I've noticed in the new versions (.40+) that my dwarves all are covered in their own tears (visible in the unit's inventory screen)... even relatively happy dwarves. Anyone know why my entire population seems to be weeping? I'm starting to feel like a horrible taskmaster/person, haha. 

Beatings must continue until morale improves

Why are Dwarves stupid?

All the alcohol they drink through pregnancy and childhood takes its toll...

Why do dwarves slow down without alcohol?

[origamiscienceguy]

Their alcohol acts as a lubricant for their joints and without it, they would overheat. They have to work slowly without it to prevent overheating.

Why do babies make my adventurer submit whilst only speaking gibberish?

[Max™]

Ever heard of Langford's Basilisk? Baby gibberish is the same thing for adventurers.

Wait, does that mean baby gibberish is visible?

[Quartz_Mace]

It's certainly tangible and irritating.

Quick joke: What is the most common first word for Dwarven babies?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Mag-Ma Ma?

Why do Dwarves love magma?

[origamiscienceguy]

because, it solves EVERY PROBLEM THEY HAVE. Giant badger invasion? Pour magma on it. Noble being his usual snotty, useless, arrogant self? Pour magma on it. Door locked due to invaders? Pour magma on it! Flooded your fortress with magma? Congratulations, you just won the game!

why can't you win the game?

[Thisfox]

Because then we'd have nothing more to do. Boring. (And this ain't minecraft, kiddies!)

Why is kimberlite blue?