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[smeeprocket]

Because giant toad leg roasts are quite good.

Why don't the children in dwarf fortress at least do basic chores like cleaning and hauling?

[walberg]

Because giant toad leg roasts are quite good.

Why don't the children in dwarf fortress at least do basic chores like cleaning and hauling?

"A child does at it pleases!" It's a pretty rare child that is pleased by menial manual labor... Even more so with beardlings.

Why are dwarven children pleased with things that almost universally lead to death, such as attempting to pet forgotten beasts and giant cave spiders?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

This is survival of the fittest in progress. The children that do grow up become heavily scarred battle troops.

Why hasn't Dwarven Daycare tried locking children up with Forgotten Beasts and Giant Cave Spiders?

[Max™]

That's just mean, such a horrible punishment should be reserved for elves and such, not beasts or spiders.

Why are kobolds cute?

[Magistrum]

Same reason as the lack of a lm557 IC.

Oh, thought it could be a quad timer or something... Maybe if I made a IC based on clowns, would it be a lm666 IC?

Glowing eyes guy, glowing eyes. The ladies love it.


Why dwarves prefer starve to death than picking the zone-unassigned fruit by their side and eating?

[Badger Storm]

Would you eat fruit that's been on the nasty-ass ground?

Guinea pigs are raised for meat in parts of South America, so why do they only give skulls when butchered?

[Aslandus]

Dwarven portion sizes are too big to be filled by a single guinea pig

Why won't my dwarves harvest from the crop fields?

[Baffler]

The discovery of plump helmet men caused a good deal of damage to the dwarven psyche.

Why doesn't the attacker win every battle anymore?

[Quartz_Mace]

You think you can siege a fortress full of bearded maniacs, swarms of archers protected by war animals, or strong humans that are also large in number and in great gear? Or do you mean against the thousands of immortal Goblins and their Trolls?

You won't always be successful.

What if Urist was gelded by a wound?

[TheHossofMoss]

You think you can siege a fortress full of bearded maniacs, swarms of archers protected by war animals, or strong humans that are also large in number and in great gear? Or do you mean against the thousands of immortal Goblins and their Trolls?

You won't always be successful.

What if Urist was gelded by a wound?

It is good that Urist is a gender neutral name.

How do my dwarves not wrap around my rotating axles, extracting every drop of precious dwarven oil from their bodies?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

You'll need a screw pump for that.

Why aren't dwarves perturbed by dwarven cheese?

[Eric Blank]

Because it is delicious. Wouldn't you like some congealed maggot juice with your mushrooms and beer?

How do purring maggots, a worm, produce milk?

[Foxite]

DF Logic.

How can you put 10 windmills right next to each other in a row and they still produce the same amount of power?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Each DF tile is actually a pocket universe unto itself, also explaining how bronze collosi and dwarves both fit on a similiarly sized tile.

Why can't we set coal veins on fire?

[Foxite]

There's a reason why we have to process coal before we can use it as fuel.

How does being submerged in magma cause "minor burns" and "minor melting" spots all over the body and kill him 20 seconds later rather than simply melt down and boil the cells in a couple of seconds?