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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 472774 times)

Badger Storm

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Revenge for that time when you catapulted his pet rabbit off the drawbridge.  Mr. Fuzzbuns's death will not go unavenged!

Why can't you get meat from rabbits?
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Urist McRas

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Why can't you get meat from rabbits?

Because you'll need a knife to detach it and it's a common knowledge butchers never use one. Actually, when you think of it, they must be strangling the animals.

Can dwarfs read?
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The fortresses are penal colonies.
The mountainhome has far too many degenerates too deal with by itself, so it sends out minor nobles to establish penal colonies across the world.

Arcvasti

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Obviously they can, since everything is in ASCII. An illiterate dwarf has no idea what anything that isn't a dwarf or a wall IS.

Why don't dwarves take baths in alchohol?
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If you expect to live forever then you will never be disappointed.
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Quartz_Mace

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Waste of drinking alcohol. Same reason they don't use it for medicine or anything other than drinking.

Dwarves only bathe in magma

Why do Dwarves forget the beasts (Forgotten Beasts)?

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Welcome, newcomer, to this place of madness, also referred to as the forums of the Twelfth Bay. I hope you enjoy your stay.
Quartz Mace cancels living: demons embedded in everything.
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UnicodingUnicorn

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Ever noticed how you don't get FBs made of booze?

Wh hasn't the world burned down yet because of Titans made of fire?

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I do stuff, I guess

Tiruin

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Fire is the shaped form of the spark of life. Like the terrestrial fire that moulds metal in dwarven hands, the fires of the age-immemorial Titans take on the literal semblance of their being, acting as an encasement of their life--hereby termed their lifeforce. Much as other Titans created out of natural characteristics, like the Snow Titan which never melts, or the Rock Titan where iron doesn't bend, Fire in the form of a Titan represents also its power. It can control that which creates it, to not harm its surroundings, no matter how hostile its surroundings are to itself.

Why aren't Peregrine Falcons (by default) tameable? They make GREAT vermin hunters (unlike bloody cats :I)
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UnicodingUnicorn

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The moment a dwarf gets any resemblance of training into a peregrine falcon, he sends it to hunt some vermin in celebration. The falcon then attempts to dive bomb the vermin and whacks its head on the low cave roof in the process, giving it brain damage and removing all remembrance of any training received.

Why don't adventurers need to excrete waste matter?
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I do stuff, I guess

Edward Evjen

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They don't live long enough.

Why are dwarfs dependent on alcohol?
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UnicodingUnicorn

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Because it is essential to their metabolism. They are chemoautotrophs.

Has anyone started a dwarf farm yet?
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I do stuff, I guess

Eric Blank

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Yes. It resulted in so many babies the user couldn't post again because his computer crashed and he went insane.

Why do cats love to drop vermin in doorways?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

UnicodingUnicorn

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How else would they get you to notice their hard work?

Why can't dwarves emigrate?
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I do stuff, I guess

Foxite

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They do, every season. From the mountainhomes.

Why haven't I gotten a baron yet when I already meet the requirements for a monarch?
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

MDFification

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They do, every season. From the mountainhomes.

Why haven't I gotten a baron yet when I already meet the requirements for a monarch?

The nobility is displeased with the way your last 5 mayors mysteriously disappeared after they demanded crystal glass puzzleboxes.

Why do cave dragons have wings but surface-dragons don't?
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Eric Blank

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They're actually completely different species. Dorfs are just bad at identifying them.

Why do forgotten beasts always murder everything they see?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Foxite

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They're forgotten. They don't like that. They want to get revenge, but on everyone because they forgot who forgot them.

Where do all those bogeymen suddenly come from at night?
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.
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