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[UnicodingUnicorn]

Because an united coalition of snails and killer whales prevents sea-borne assault.

What was the above question?

[ptb_ptb]

I think the implied question was "Why aren't dwarves magnetic?"

Why aren't dwarves magnetic?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

That would either make iron smelting too easy, or steel making too hard.

How would one go about creating a magnetic dwarf?

[ptb_ptb]

Lay the dwarf aligned north/south on an anvil and strike him hard several times with a hammer. You can demagnetize a dwarf by aligning him east/west on an anvil and striking him hard several times with a hammer.

Why do I find it hard to get dwarves to volunteer for my magnetizing / demagnetizing experiments?

[TheHossofMoss]

Lay the dwarf aligned north/south on an anvil and strike him hard several times with a hammer. You can demagnetize a dwarf by aligning him east/west on an anvil and striking him hard several times with a hammer.

Why do I find it hard to get dwarves to volunteer for my magnetizing / demagnetizing experiments?

Because you haven't offered them Prepared Kitten Eye Roasts as compensation for doing it.

Why does my Squad stand around in a siege, and not actually attack ( or preferably kill) the goblin that is beating in the skull of my Military Commander (don't worry, he survived)?

[Aslandus]

They weren't very fond of that commander

Why won't my dwarves fish out of the reservoir I made for them during winter?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

They're waiting for the fish to jump out of the water and air-drown.

How does the starting wagon come into existence?

[Max™]

Rocs occasionally snatch up entire cabins full of dwarves, which is why one so rarely encounters a wooden above-ground dorf shelter, the claws of a Roc are large enough to carry 7 dorfs and a surprisingly large amount of animals or supplies, along with some of the wood from the cabin. At some point the bird forgets it is carrying this stuff and drops it.

If you're lucky they drop it and it lands in a neat little pile called a wagon, with all the supplies on top, and a bunch of confused dorfs that generally decide "hell with that living above-ground crap, STRIKE THE EARTH!", though from time to time the materials are dropped on a ridge or cliff, and rarely the dorfs decide to try and live above-ground again. Which usually ends as one would expect: on fire.

Why did it take so long for a civilization capable of making catapults, ballistas, drawbridge mechanisms, steel, and fine architecture, to create the stepladder?

[blazing glory]

Because Dwarf's have such a fascination with going down, towards the marvelous earth, instead of upwards, which only contains the boring sky, birds, and the occasional cloud, no Dwarf ever considered the point of going in that direction, then they hear of this strange invention by the Humans, one Dwarf tries it out, finds that he has even more access to the stone then he had before, and the invention catches on.

Why do Dwarven hunters insist of going back to get more bolts when he runs out, when he can easily bash in the head of the badger he had been shooting with his crossbow since it clearly can't defend itself?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

What do you think they are, hammerers? Hammering is not in their job description.

What would happen if you amputate a dwarf's liver?

[Badger Storm]

Considering I just had someone get his liver wrecked and pretty much crutch-walk it off, not much, apparently.

Why are muck, salt, and mist considered important enough to have their own deities?

[miauw62]

All earthly products are holy.

Why do some dwarves worship things not borne from the earth?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

They're heretics. Notice how they also seem to be woodcrafters.

Would a dwarf rather throw a prisoner 15 z-levels or use a bridge to catapult a prisoner 15 z-levels?

[Max™]

Yes.

Which should be first?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Why not both at the same time?

Why can't dwarves construct a lake of blood?