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[UnicodingUnicorn]

The mysterious force that makes constructions indestructible and workshops possible wanes as it goes further from the centre of the map.

How is a wagon larger than a bronze colossus?

[ptb_ptb]

Obviously wagons are much bigger than bronze colossi. It's well known that any being can fit inside a cage, and cages can fit inside wagons. Therefore wagon >> any being.

Why do we panic when 'ambushers' are 'found' hundreds of z levels below the furthest explored areas?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

We're panicking because if the dwarves can spot something beneath  countless levels of stone, who knows what else they may see. Us?

Why do animal men only have blowguns?

[Badger Storm]

Because they enjoy putting long, slender objects in their mouths.  Y'know, like pretzel sticks.  Get your mind out of the gutter.

Why do dwarves whinge about not having a well when there is not only plenty of booze, but also a river full of all the fresh water they could ever need?

[ptb_ptb]

Dwarvish ancestral memory warns of CARP.

Why is it so much easier to kill a dwarf by accident than on purpose?

[Aslandus]

Dwarven law of diminishing returns: the more effort you put into something, the less successful it will be at accomplishing what you want.

Why aren't there any more turtles in my cistern?

[ptb_ptb]

Dwarves are too lazy to go outside to take a leak, and turtles don't appreciate the taste of dwarf piss.

Why do bridges vaporize everything they are dropped on ... except for saplings and other plants?

[Badger Storm]

Plants don't scream in their death throes, so they aren't worth destroying.

How does an elephant get into a mahogany tree, assuming he didn't just sit on a mahogany seed and wait?

[Foxite]

An elephant never forgets... how freaking good they can jump.

Why is my answer above so lame?

[Badger Storm]

Because the alternative would have been an elephant joke, and nobody remembers those are even a thing anymore.

Why did migrants stay away from my fortress for two years, then come and literally double my population?

[Aslandus]

Mountainhome has been having issues getting to your fortress and the caravans refused to tell them how to get there, so they just sent all the migrants from the previous years at the same time once they found you

Why didn't the caravans tell the migrants how to get to your fortress?

[Badger Storm]

They felt nobody deserved to deal with an aquifer full of otter blood.

Why will unicorns hang out with elves but not dwarves?

[klefenz]

Why will unicorns hang out with elves but not dwarves?

Elves actually enjoy being impaled.

Why dont elves eer use stones found aboveground to make weapons?

[Thisfox]

It's called piercing. They enjoy piercings. Elves and piercings go together somehow...

To answer the question, an elf would never do such a thing to a poor defenceless giant seed. No wait, it's a rock? Are you sure? So you're just going to damage that seed just because it's pretending to be a rock? How dare you!

I just watched a dwarf administer a patient a drink of water out of a bucket from the well. He's thrown the empty bucket on the ground, and there's no spilt water. I'm not sure how this is possible, could that patient have drunk a whole bucketful of water? How big are buckets?

[pisskop]

buckets hold 1/7/10 water.  An elephant is 5.000.000 cm³.  Elephants must pass a swim test at  4/7 water.  Therefore, a bucket holds 1/7/10 of an elephant.
  Building off the above, a dwarf must also pass a swim check in 4/7 water.  Therefore, dwarves are the same height as elephants.  Which is why they can drink a bucket of water.

Are dwarves taller than I think or elephants shorter?