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[TheHossofMoss]

It was needed and nobody else stepped up

Why do my dwarves refuse to sell artifacts to the merchants?

I actually reclaimed a fortress that had made an artifact slate flute, and when I found it, we were able to sell it to the caravans.

[Aslandus]

Because the foundation would erode faster.

How do ghosts die?

Ghosts have ectoplasm which falls out if they touch things (the UI doesn't show it, but it's totally there) and if it bleeds, we can kill it

How many crossbow bolts does it take to get to the center of a zombie-sturgeon-pop?

[Playergamer]

ALL OF THEM.

[arcane]

How did I get a migration wave that was 1 baby and 3 donkeys?

[Girlinhat]

How did I get a migration wave that was 1 baby and 3 donkeys?

Sounds like apolitical joke

[TheHossofMoss]

Because the foundation would erode faster.

How do ghosts die?

Ghosts have ectoplasm which falls out if they touch things (the UI doesn't show it, but it's totally there) and if it bleeds, we can kill it

How many crossbow bolts does it take to get to the center of a zombie-sturgeon-pop?

Exactly 88.34 licks.

Why do dwarves never go to the infirmary if they have broken thumbs or fingers?

[Vyro]

Because by dorf logic if you can walk by yourself, you aren't really sick enough to warrant medical care. Just walk it off will ye?
And if you can't walk, you are basically dead anyways because dorven healthcare.

How comes that dorven healthcare is so... effective in a certain way...

[TheHossofMoss]

Canine Kung Fu.

Why don't Forgotten Beasts attack each other?

I actually had a Forgotten Beast kill another Forgotten Beast on my Glacial Tundra Fortress.

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

Dwarven doctors are so insightful they'd rather remove the cause than the effect. You bleeding out from that gaping hole in your chest is the effect. The cause? Well, the goblins. Wait, a doctor can't do anything about the goblins... The actual cause? You having a heart in first place.

Why dwarves can only transport heavy-as-hell resources only from stockpile to stockpile, but not from stockpile to the workshop?

[fractalman]

Sounds like a case of stockpile link fail.


Why can't I get money to Toady by throwing it at his avatar on my screen? it'd be so much simpler than other online payment methods...

[pisskop]

Sounds like a case of stockpile link fail.


Why can't I get money to Toady by throwing it at his avatar on my screen? it'd be so much simpler than other online payment methods...

Firewalls.  You have a wall of fire.

Why dont dwarves use poisoned traps?

[Iamblichos]

They get drunk and drink the poison.

Why is the only rock anyone in the fortress wants the one on the other side of the third cavern, miles away from anything else?  Not like there aren't giant stockpiles full of it right next to the crafting halls...

[Gentlefish]

Because even though it's a shorter walk from the workshop to the stockpile, from over here in the dining hall, that stone is immediately closer to me even though I have to go all the way around the fort to get it.

Why are there goblins in my trees?

[Tacomagic]

Because even though it's a shorter walk from the workshop to the stockpile, from over here in the dining hall, that stone is immediately closer to me even though I have to go all the way around the fort to get it.

Why are there goblins in my trees?

Because they're not quite ripe yet.  Wait for fall and then they'll be ready to pick.

Why does a collapsing floor suck dwarves toward it?

[Aslandus]

Dwarves by nature wish to be closer to the earth, and you can't get much closer than being smashed into it at a molecular level

Why does the entire ocean freeze in winter?