Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Doktoro Reichard]

Because their wings get clipped.

Why can't dwarves make weapons out of Gold?

[cyberTripping]

Gold is heavy and soft. Barely better than those damn wood swords the elves make.

Why don't my dwarves consider conserving my plump helmets so they don't dehydrate to death?

[Larix]

This food is seasoned with imaginary elf tears, one of the finest spices known to dwarfkind. Due to the woody texture of the raw 'helmets, they believe that these mushrooms are sort of little trees and that whenever a dwarf bites into a plump helmet, an elf somewhere cries.

(more seriously, put a "brewables" stockpile somewhere near the stills, clearly seperate from the general working areas and the meeting hall - dwarfs take the _nearest_ edible item when they get hungry, and early on, that's all too often the plump helmets.)

Shouldn't "rotten" cheese be considered further processing of the food, increasing its value further? After all, some of the most delicious cheeses are produced by letting cheese rot in a dank cave.

[Urist McRas]

Only in French version. Also, there are extra happy thought for eating edible snails.

By the way, why don't dwarf let wine age?

[jcochran]

What!?!?!? Let alcohol evaporate and get lost? Why, I ought to have you shaved bare for undwarven thoughts......

Why do dwarves need water when sick? After all, alcohol is best at all other times and besides, with its antiseptic properties, it should prevent infection, unlike that nasty water.

[pisskop]

Dwarves have a strong work ethic.  Why should you get help when you are awake and active?  Also note this is why armless dwaeves dont get cleaned by others and concious maimed dwarves dont get medical attention.

Why do diplomats ask you for peace instead of the king?

[Urist McRas]

Why, I ought to have you shaved bare for undwarven thoughts......

Funny thing is, I did shave my beard couple hours ago.

[fractalman]

Dwarves have a strong work ethic.  Why should you get help when you are awake and active?  Also note this is why armless dwaeves dont get cleaned by others and concious maimed dwarves dont get medical attention.

Why do diplomats ask you for peace instead of the king?

There are, actually, two types of diplomats: the talkative sort, and the stabbity sort.  the former wouldn't go to your fort if they were after your king, would they?

besides, while you answered a tangential question...why don't dwarves use BREW for medical work?

[Lielac]

The dwarven economy isn't implemented yet.

Why is it that only the important dwarves in a fortress manage to find ambush groups?  Why not Urist McUselessPeasant?

Because the ambushes are in fact assassination squads.

Why have infectious diseases like the common cold not yet spread to dwarfkind?

Actually, I'm working on a mod for that.

Ooooooo!

There are, actually, two types of diplomats: the talkative sort, and the stabbity sort.  the former wouldn't go to your fort if they were after your king, would they?

besides, while you answered a tangential question...why don't dwarves use BREW for medical work?

... BREW...?

Lielac cancels add question: interrupted by cluster headache

[Larix]

besides, while you answered a tangential question...why don't dwarves use BREW for medical work?

For dwarfs, sentience and conscience are indistinguishable, thus they consider an unconscious dwarf a sort of vegetable and try to water them.

Alternatively, they've been taught in dwarf school that any liquid used in healthcare must be drawn from a well, and since we have no wells of booze... yet....

Which seamlessly leads to my question: when do we get to make wells of booze?

[Aslandus]

For dwarfs, sentience and conscience are indistinguishable, thus they consider an unconscious dwarf a sort of vegetable and try to water them.

Alternatively, they've been taught in dwarf school that any liquid used in healthcare must be drawn from a well, and since we have no wells of booze... yet....

Which seamlessly leads to my question: when do we get to make wells of booze?

As soon as dwarves figure out how to make wells that extract liquids besides water and mud

Why doesn't booze explode when it's set on fire?

[Doktoro Reichard]

Stoichiometric ratios (aka Air-to-fuel ratios needed to induce explosion).

Assuming booze to be made entirely out of Ethanol, it would require 9 parts of air per 1 part of booze to explode. As booze is kept on air-tight barrels (the very idea of Air isn't present in DF), it does not explode.

Where do dwarves come from? They don't get pregnant, AFAIK. They just... "appear".

[tahujdt]

They do, in fact, get pregnant. However, the first dwarves in any world are placed there by Armok himself.  Why do dwarves stock hospitals with all the string and cloth they can cram in there?

[pisskop]

The end of days, as written by Armok itself:

And know thee, my child,
that when man and horse meet a new plague will be beset upon ye.
all that protects thine chin will singe before the fire of their wrath;
and the chill of death shall set in, ending the reign of the protectors and ushering a new age of demons.

Without warm chins they will die.  So they stock artifical beards.  And practice regular animal genocide.


Why does tge infinite water of the aquifer dry when I channel through it?  (also, my bad, before :p)

[ColdBones]

Question:

So, my fortress is a couple of years old, around 90 dwarves or so, had an ambush, killed them off, then my animal stockpile was full of caged invaders.  Dumped them into my pit, sent my marksdwarves down there to kill them off, and then...my marksdwarves started fighting each other?  After that, some of my military dwarves started killing civilians, and then some military dwarves starting fighting each other.  No one was berserk or tantruming (that I could find) but this mass dwarficide is going on and I can't figure out why.

Anyone experience anything like this before?