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[Sumyunguy]

A: When a sock nears a dwarf, the mass and hardness of the sock increases. This is relative to the exact distance from the dwarf.

S_{mass/hardness}=D*3.14
Where D is distance, and S is sock mass.

This allows dwarven socks to become solid once donned, creating a shield of protection for the dwarf. But woe be to the dwarf who has his own socks used against him, as the sock cannot determine whether or not the dwarf has it on. The effect of the sock on the head is the equivalent to a 34 z-level pillar cave-in on his skull.

Q: Why do lead barrels enhance the taste of fine dwarven brews?

[wierd]

Lead II Acetate.
AKA, Lead sugar, Salt of saturn, and many others.

Quite possibly the world's first artificial sweetener, Lead II Acetate is created by the acidic action of acetic acid on metallic lead containers. The primary source of acetic acid is from vinegar, which itself comes from oxidation reactions of alcoholic beverages with the atmosphere. Most typically, wine.

The fondness of dwarves for sweet tasting treats, and for alcoholic substances is well known. The problem, is that sugars are converted into non-sweet tasting alcohols via fermentation. The storage of these alcoholic beverages in leaden containers permits the formation of "lead sugar" in the alcohol, returning some of this lost sweetness to the beverages in question, with only minimal loss of alcoholic potency.

....

Its consumption is also the leading cause of persistent neurological disorders frequently reported amongst dwarven settlers, and likely contributes heavily to the ... unique.. mental characteristics of the race. The effects of lead exposure during pregnancy are well documented, and female dwarven mothers continue to imbibe the beverages in question without cessation during that time, leading to a double-whammy of lead toxicity and fetal alcohol syndrome.

The real question then, is HOW, given the accumulated lifetime sequestration of this heavy metal, do dwarven corpses rot so quickly after they become deceased?

[smjjames]

Because lead doesn't have the same properties as in RL?

How do dwarves avoid fetal alcohol syndrome? (and how did the ancients avoid that when people mostly drank beer or whatever because it was safer than the water).

[Urist McRas]

The real question then, is HOW, given the accumulated lifetime sequestration of this heavy metal, do dwarven corpses rot so quickly after they become deceased?

Dwarf life is harsh and so is life of dwaven bacteria. Nowadays only tough and stern bacteria dare to live in dwarven body. When the dwarf is deceased no petty heavy metal can stop them from the feast.

How do dwarves avoid fetal alcohol syndrome? (and how did the ancients avoid that when people mostly drank beer or whatever because it was safer than the water).

Well, they don't avoid it. That's why they are short and stupid. (Ancients probably just learned to boil water.)

Why do elves use wooden armor? It is unpractical.

[klefenz]

They like to pretend they´re trees.

How come snatched dwarven babies dont flood goblin dark fortresses with magma?

[WoobMonkey]

Because goblins have yet to discover the technology of mining picks.

Why do demons prefer to lead human societies, instead of, say, elf nations?

[Urist McRas]

Humans are way better worshipers.

Why there are no half-breeds?

[klefenz]

They are known as forgotten beasts.

Where does the bookkeeper write the stocks of all the plump helmets? and with what?

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

He "uploads" it into the fortress's hive mind.


How can a barn owl corpse corpse corpse with literally no inch of intact bone still fly?

[WoobMonkey]

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] suggests, and try it.

The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.

Why don't dwarves recognize that an animal assigned to a chain doesn't need to be pastured anymore?

[Monk321654]

He "uploads" it into the fortress's hive mind.


How can a barn owl corpse corpse corpse with literally no inch of intact bone still fly?

The same way a barn owl can get killed enough times to become a corpse corpse corpse.

Do dwarves dream of stone sheep?

[klefenz]

They want *Stone wool socks*

Why isn't there a word for "vault" in dwarvish language?
I guess they wont survive a nuclear holocaust.

[Urist McRas]

Nuclear holocaust? You mean a day when a rain of fire falls from the sky burning everybody on the surface and boiling the ocean? That's everyday life, no one will notice.

Why don't dwarfs take vacations?

[klefenz]

Are you serious? they take "breaks" for months.

Why cant you fill a waterskin from a barrel in adventure?

[Sumyunguy]

A: Because "barrel water" and "water skin water" would cause a singularity to open upon mixing, destroying the world.

Q: Will dwarven civilization ever find a way to domesticate and train Giant War Sponges?