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[Cattani]

Who would want to cut off their own beard to make a halberk? It's so useful to keep purring maggots in!

Supposing every creature has its place in the natural order of things, what was nature's use for Purring Maggots before the dwarves started milking it?

[Greiger]

Because when a carpenter's apprentice child had a strange mood far in the past she made an artifact wood statue that sprang to life. The carpenter then became the king to recognize the accomplishment.  All was good, then the statue was taken over by evil, and it's artifact powers used to grow huge or split into many smaller clones of itself.   It was used to try and steal a great treasure from a far away dwarven civilisation, and the dwarves were forced to enlist the aid of humans to stop the monstrosity.

The shame of relying on humans made the dwarves vow to never let that happen again, so children are no longer allowed to gain skill in any moodable craft, because small figurines are far less dangerous.   Lali-ho!


What would happen if dwarves tried to use an unstoppable lowering bridge to try and atom smash an immovable wall?

[smjjames]

Why don't dwarves' children do some basic labors? (Children should be able to cook, or tan leather, etc.)

It's possible to apprentice them using Dwarf Therapist.

[tahujdt]

What would happen if dwarves tried to use an unstoppable lowering bridge to try and atom smash an immovable wall?

The bridge and wall will both spontaneously become magma.

Ant men will explode when they go above-ground due to an unforeseen bug.

Only sneaking ant men will be killed by an unforeseen bug.

[Gentlefish]

Why haven't dwarves discovered magnets yet?

[UnlawfullyDeranged]

They have. They smash them and store the small fragments in their beards in order to know which way to build a raising bridge.

Which is more dwarfy for forges: the lifeblood of Armok, or the charred remains of elven treasures? Why?

[Larix]

They have. They smash them and store the small fragments in their beards in order to know which way to build a raising bridge.

Which is more dwarfy for forges: the lifeblood of Armok, or the charred remains of elven treasures? Why?

MAAAAGMAAAAA

Founding your actions on potentially offending someone you mildly dislike is petty and human. Dwarfs are addlebrained short-tempered drunks, they aren't petty racists.

When two minecarts collide head-on, only one will move off, the other will stop. Looking through the movement parameters, the entire momentum of one of the carts vanishes without a trace - neither cart takes damage, so it's not converted in some way. Where does the missing momentum go?

[Kumquat]

It goes to pull up massive bridges with a quantum-linked lever installed next to the magma forges and to power up water reactors and impulse ramps - even if you have none (yet).

Why are all rivers only 1z deep and perfectly flat and only move down z-levels at waterfalls?

[evictedSaint]

It goes to pull up massive bridges with a quantum-linked lever installed next to the magma forges and to power up water reactors and impulse ramps - even if you have none (yet).

Why are all rivers only 1z deep and perfectly flat and only move down z-levels at waterfalls?

It's a well-know fact that water is afraid of heights, which is why it moves instantaneously to the lowest available point whenever it gets the chance.  If riverbeds were more than 1 level deep, all the water would be fighting to see who gets to stay at the very bottom.  To avoid this, all the individual bodies of water agreed to never carve tracks more than 1 z level deep, which had the side effect of making waterfalls the only available way to descend in elevation.

Why is it that ballistas only fire in four directions, rather than 360 degrees?

[jcochran]

Why is it that ballistas only fire in four directions, rather than 360 degrees?

Because 360 is too high to count while drunk.

How is a little bird able to lift and steal an anvil?

[Pinstar]

Has to do with air speed velocity calculation of a laden vs Un-laden swallow. It does not factor what the bird is laden with, it is merely a binary identifier.

How come mosquito brain is a 'meat' product availabe at embark and satisfies like a full meal when eaten, yet cannot be harvested from vermin mosquitos on your fort?

[jcochran]

How come mosquito brain is a 'meat' product availabe at embark and satisfies like a full meal when eaten, yet cannot be harvested from vermin mosquitos on your fort?

That's because due to a time/space warp, the mosquitoes at embark are from Alaska and the vermin mosquitoes are from California... http://claytonecramer.blogspot.com/2010/11/great-mosquito-joke.html

Why do many hostile creatures ignore cats?

[Eric Blank]

Because cats are totally not-threatening and adorable. And rule the world.

Why do dwarves that fall in one side of a body of water not simply get out on that side, but try to swim to the safety of the OTHER side of the pool and drown on the way?

[Gentlefish]

Because they fell in on that side, they'd fall in again!

If water's afraid of heights and that's why rivers are only 1z deep, then why are lakes and oceans a thing?

[Pinstar]

Running water is afraid of heights. Water that has had time to sit around and think things over has come to peace with their fears and thus is willing to stack higher.

Where do turkeys and other similar birds get all the energy and nutrition to produce the large clutches of eggs they lay without actually needing to eat anything?