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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 466864 times)

flame99

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  • Lady Stardust & her songs of darkness and disgrace
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Because kittenrib has holes in it, so the water just falls through, and nothing's really worth it unless it comes in kittenrib.

What would happen if Armok gave Giant Sponges lungs, the ability to roll, and the ability to make civilizations?
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It/its, they/them, in order of preference.

Not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you.

Graknorke

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Worldgen would run amazingly fast after year 7 or so when sponges have populated every map tile.

Why will elves soon have been freerunning up trees instead of using stairs; and how are we supposed to dislike them when they start having been?
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Cultural status:
Depleted          ☐
Enriched          ☑

Scootagoose

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Because most Elves are actually french and jason bournes.




How do elves freerun in wooden armor?
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Unf.

tahujdt

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Why do Dwarves have an aversion to eating enemy combatants?
Because they prefer plump helmets because of their suggestive shape. #customprefstring

Why do my post-apocalypse ponies, when armed with anti-machine sniper rifles, keep going to the stockpile to get their large caliber ammo, and then promptly dropping it and going back for more?
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DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
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I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
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MaximumZero

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Do you have them equipped with quivers?

Why is it that I can mod in hundred mouthed monstrosities, but I can't figure out a good use for Bismuth?
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

pisskop

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Bismuth is incoruptable, you pervert! :P

Why can the ai see perfectly, even when running around a dimly lit fortress?
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼

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They use their beards, not eyes, you silly!

How a single bridge powered by a dwarf pulling random levers launch whole caravan with 2 wagons and a goblin ambush to the moon?
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Quote from: Necrisha
while I'm processing immigrants
Therefore, starve your metalsmiths for maximum gains.

Coalwalker

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They use their beards, not eyes, you silly!

How a single bridge powered by a dwarf pulling random levers launch whole caravan with 2 wagons and a goblin ambush to the moon?
Because button mashing is historically the most effective method of winning!

Why do dwarves insist on clinging to their xXSocksXx for years after they've stopped wearing them?
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So to recap, one minute everything was going just great, and the next we have caverns collapsing, firebreathing cave beasts, underground brush fires, a screaming swarm of poltergheists back for revenge, zombies in the corridors, drunken brawls in the dining halls, magma pouring into the caverns, rotting miasma everywhere, insanity, madness, and a flying crocodile heading right towards us!

Gentlefish

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They use their beards, not eyes, you silly!

How a single bridge powered by a dwarf pulling random levers launch whole caravan with 2 wagons and a goblin ambush to the moon?
Because button mashing is historically the most effective method of winning!

Why do dwarves insist on clinging to their xXSocksXx for years after they've stopped wearing them?

Sentimentality reasons.

How does every dwarf in the fort know that another one died immediately after a cat walking piece of leather finds it?

Di

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That's not simple walking piece of leather, they double as fortress's collective mind's searchbots. Though their programm sometimes backfires and they can harm the effectiveness of a particular dwarf.

Now why adventuring dwarfs can't see more than a 3 tiles away underground while fortress ones can see up to 20 tiles.
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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=103080.0 Fix sober vampires!
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=91442.0 Dwarven Cognitive Science

☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼

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Because of the beards. When two of them get close to each other, they start to glow. You can get blind from looking at a 200+ fortress's meeting hall. Propably this has something to do with spore exchange.

Gobbos, Y U NO just attack my front gate (where you will be slaughtered by a battery of siege engines)? Why do you have to find a back door for hunters 700 tiles away?
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Quote from: Necrisha
while I'm processing immigrants
Therefore, starve your metalsmiths for maximum gains.

Komra

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The gobbos love to think that they're excellent infiltrators, so they'll comb every bit of the landscape to find a sneaky way in.

Why are there no ninjas or pirates?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Culise

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The gobbos love to think that they're excellent infiltrators, so they'll comb every bit of the landscape to find a sneaky way in.

Why are there no ninjas or pirates?
The dwarven pirates struck the earth...with their ships.  As for dwarven ninjas, they're already in the game.  After all, if you could see them, they wouldn't be very good ninjas, now would they? 

How can a single ring take up the same amount of room in a stockpile as an entire bin full of lead bars? 
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Komra

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How can a single ring take up the same amount of room in a stockpile as an entire bin full of lead bars? 

Dwarven categorization methods are convoluted and often apparently random, but their space allocation methods are frightfully strict. Any single item or container-bound set- even an entire Forgotten Beast corpse- must be forced into the same space through sheer, physics-altering dwarven mindpower. Unfortunately, most of that mindpower is then allocated and otherwise unusable.

Why do dwarven civilizations not have national tantrum spirals?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

wierd

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Because they have to see the corpse to have the bad thought. No body, and they are just fine with it.  Dwarves are the epitome of "out of sight, out of mind."

How is it that barrels of milk and eggs, two notoriously perishable products, can stand round in a non-refrigerated stockpile for years at a time, and still be perfectly edible?
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