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[pisskop]

Slaves to Armok: Chapter III: EA got their tentacles into DF after Toady's dimise at 85.  Sales plummet.

Why don't don't gods do more in their world?

[Nathail]

Because they are too busy arguing among themselves to actually do anything helpful.

Why do demons kill dwarves instead of joining into the great fortress hivemind?

[flame99]

Because these guys are demons, not barbarians! Even they have limits!

If you get a fortress to "Mountainhome" level, then why don't you send caravans to other fortresses?

[Komra]

Do you really want to send your good stuff out? Nobody WANTS to trade with you, they only buy your stone crapware when your military/doomsday devices are around. They only even send caravans to maintain diplomatic relations, anyway.

(However, I would love to see that in-game, along with sending out excess population to found new NPC forts that you could later control after losing)

What's up with airline food?

[Graknorke]

What's up with airline food?

During flight; all of it.

How many dwarves make 5?

[flame99]

Assuming that he has recently been part of a foretressmind, one dwarf will produce 5 (Or possibly six) pieces: Left arm, right arm, left leg, right leg, torso, and beard. The only reason the beard and the "head" it is mounted on stay attached is because it no longer has any means to harm itself, and a dwarf will usually begin self-assimilating itself with the limbs, though the head may come first.

How can two or three competent swordsmen take down a charging boar with minimal injuries, but can't take on a badger and still have limbs?

[Urist McLaptop]

CAUSE BADGERS DONT CARE

Why does 80% of he dwarf population insist on hauling items when all of the workshops are filled with orders

[inEQUALITY]

CAUSE BADGERS DONT CARE

Why does 80% of he dwarf population insist on hauling items when all of the workshops are filled with orders

Because you didn't turn off the hauling labor for them. 

Why do we dwarves inherently hate elves but not humans?

[Urist McMontros]

CAUSE BADGERS DONT CARE

Why does 80% of he dwarf population insist on hauling items when all of the workshops are filled with orders

Because you didn't turn off the hauling labor for them. 

Why do we dwarves inherently hate elves but not humans?

Because Elves are hippies that get offended when you try to sell them anything made out of wood. Or came from wood. Or has touched wood. Or has been in the same room as wood. Or has the scent of wood on it.

Aside from the animals they bring, they are inherently worthless and killing their traders produces much more !FUN!

Why did the Urist cross the railroad tracks?

[flame99]

To be turned into a fine mist of blood!

How do goblins siege you, if the closest thing they have to a fortress is sitting on some ground and saying, "Yup. This is our citadel!"

[javierpwn]

Obviously their citadels are invisible, also their thousands of numbers inspire them to take YOUR fortress


Why do pastured animals attack each other for food when the rest of the pasture is filled with grass

[flame99]

Because that is some Grade-A grass, and they ain't letting no goat get to it!

Why can I not think of a question?

[Corai]

Because elf.

Why can't goblins just hole up underground and do nothing? They don't need to eat, drink or anything. Why fight? They could do wonders for the scientific front!

[Nathail]

Because they are driven to it by their evil nature.

Who forgets the Forgotten Beast? If they've been living in caves since before the dawn of time, and the various races only pop up at the dawn of time, then surely nobody would have even known about them in the first place.

[javierpwn]

The titans forgot about them.

Why do beekeepers insist on not wearing protective clothing from the bees which they keep