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[UberNube]

Dwarves have an incredibly limited attention span and are only vaguely aware of what is going on around them. They also have a habit of giving birth without warning at the most inconvenient moments, and are required to provide a name for their offspring immediately. As such, they tend to name them after the first thing they think of or see, which in a typical fortress leads to names like "dagger" (Urist), "murder", "death", "magma", "suffering", or "oh what a lovely dining room". Of course the names are only recorded in Dwarven, which itself isn't a particularly sensible language given that it lacks any kind conjunctions or other grammar.

How come the animals in a pasture will always huddle around one corner and kick/bite eachother's hooves off despite there being plenty of space. Does it have anything to do with the constant rain of goblin blood from the sky, and grass covered in eyeballs and tentacles?

[GreatWyrmGold]

No, the animals are just idiots.

Why do people think gnomeblight is hallucinogenic?

[xoseph]

No, the animals are just idiots.

Why do people think gnomeblight is hallucinogenic?

There's an old urban legend about a dwarf who licked a gnome down in the caverns, and then ran around screaming about a giant, beakless grouse that undulated rhythmically.  Has to be a hallucination, right?

Why are all the splinter colonies from dwarven civilizations so awesome, but the adventure-mode homelands so boring?

[Pyre]

The mountainhomes send all the crazy(aka awesome) overseers to deal with the colonies in a pitiful attempt to get rid of them.

Why are dwarves incapable of picking up their crap?

[Sus]

For the obvious reason that dwarves do not, in fact, defecate.
Also, would you want to touch a Xx(pig tail fiber loincloth)xX that's been lying around in pools of gore, vomit and quite probably some horrid syndrome-inducing muckus for Armok knows how long?

Why is it possible to dig into semi-molten rock, but only if you don't know it's there?

[pisskop]

Same reason daffy duck could walk on air before he knew he would fall.  The laws of the world only apply to those who know they apply.

what do kobolds do in their free time?

[imperium3]

Same reason daffy duck could walk on air before he knew he would fall.  The laws of the world only apply to those who know they apply.

what do kobolds do in their free time?

Try to steal your artifacts (for their day job they work in the local post office).

Why do elves get appalled at you selling them wood, and yet quite happily try to sell you wooden goods by the cartload?

[Sus]

Elven wood is lovingly foraged from old branches and twigs torn down by storms. Thus, it is Elf Kosher™.
Any Dwarven wood, however, is assumed (even if you just bought it from the tree-buggering hippieselves) to come from chopping down their beloved ancestors with an ax.

Why did the elephants get nerfed?

[pisskop]

Its NERF or Nothin'!  :p

Why does not wood chopping not lvl axewielding?

edit:  d:  damnit!  What is the tongue smiley!

[GoombaGeek]

Cutting goblins in half uses different muscles than cutting trees in half.

Why won't equipping my woodcutter with an adamantine battle-axe give him unearthly woodcutting speed?

[Graknorke]

Why won't equipping my woodcutter with an adamantine battle-axe give him unearthly woodcutting speed?

There is no mass behind them to give momentum for cutting through the tree. Trees are a bit harder to take down using only direct muscle strength than flesh.

What sort of things come up in dwarvern conversations?

[darkgloomie]

Why won't equipping my woodcutter with an adamantine battle-axe give him unearthly woodcutting speed?

There is no mass behind them to give momentum for cutting through the tree. Trees are a bit harder to take down using only direct muscle strength than flesh.

What sort of things come up in dwarvern conversations?

probably the mysterious deaths of the previous dorf who wondered about the might of their all-seeing Overseer

That or beer.

Why do grizzley bears steal your booze?

[Sus]

Bears just wanna have fun! \o/

Why is it that you can war-train grizzly bears, but not black bears?

[Berossus]

Caste system.
Black bears are not warriors, they are artisans.

Why does 1/7 water evaporate, but 4+/7 does not?

[xoseph]

Cause when you get enough water in one place, the gravity holds it together.

Why can't a woodcutter use his axe for slaughter military purposes?