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[Sus]

Why Urist McMiner, who breached an aquifer and got caught in a dead end corridor with slowly rising water, yet learned to swim to Skilled before any dangerous level of water got near him, doesn't decide to swim away from the oncoming flood?

Dwarven experience with the concept of "water" is, unfortunately, quite limited1), although not to the same extent as the ever so nebulous "fire".2) Thus, poor Urist's brain simply doesn't connect the dots between rising water + enclosed space = Bad Thing™. Basically, you watching Urist is like an alien on an alien world wondering, "Why do the silly humans keep walking straight into the painfully obvious Spontaneous Disintegration Zones? "

1) Facts dwarves do know about water:
- You can't cross a river, lake, pond or ocean, but you can cross a brook (or the edge of a waterfall; much less water there!).
- Mist makes my beard happy!
- Water contains fish. Fish is good eats.
- Water makes the vomit go away. P.S. Soap is nice.
- Technically, you can drink water if no booze is available or you're hurt real bad, but who would want to?
- Sometimes water comes from the sky. That's not nice like mist.

2) Facts dwarves know about fire:











Now, for my WTF?,

Where do the starting dwarves come from? They do not have any known relatives, no history, nothing. They seem to just magically appear out of thin air with the selected skills and equipment.

[pisskop]

He thinks he'll get legendary and grow gills.  Waterworld is soo kool that even dwarfs grasp the concept.

Why do worldgen army battles happen 1v1?

[darkgloomie]

Where do the starting dwarves come from? They do not have any known relatives, no history, nothing. They seem to just magically appear out of thin air with the selected skills and equipment.

Because they are. You, the god Amok, spawned 7 lowly dwarves for shit and giggles, then sent a post-it note to the Mountainhomes telling "yo dawgs, I just created some poor schmucks to  send to their death. If ya got some "excess baggage", ya know what I mean, be sure to send them to Urist McSiegedbyUndead, at UnappropriatelyNamed."

Why do worldgen army battles happen 1v1?

Because you accidentally spawned the world of Mortal Kombat

I think this has (well, must have) been asked already, but why, um, goblins kidnap children?

[Berossus]

I think this has (well, must have) been asked already, but why, um, goblins kidnap children?

Because dwarf children ask for deliverance in their christmas-letters to santa dorf...

"Please, for the nonexistant love of armok, get me away from here. Theres blood, bones and vomit everywhere, we eat monkeys and pig cheese and the whole fortress reeks of old socks. Yesterday my brother had his legs broken by a descending bridge and was left to bleed to death because everyone was having busy doing kegstands at the platinum statues.
Please take me away, somewhere safe, or at least less psychopathically dangerous.

And hurry, i hear them talking of some kind of project... and theyre excited!"






Why can my armorer not make golden breastplates, when he has made himself a golden table to eat?

[MadocComadrin]

Why does your armorer want to eat a golden table?

Next question to be answered: Berossus

[Komra]

Why can my armorer not make golden breastplates, when he has made himself a golden table to eat [off of]?

He figured that the table was simply the epitome of gold crafts. To create anything lesser would just decrease its value by association.
Gold is notoriously malleable. Any armor fittings would quickly warp and get stuck, leading to complete immobility for the user within a short period. Weapons would be barely usable after a few hard strikes; even warhammers could end up as crumpled slabs after not too long.

Why dos time-of-day not come into effect for a fortress?

[Sus]

Why can my armorer not make golden breastplates, when he has made himself a golden table to eat [off of]?

Gold is notoriously malleable. Any armor fittings would quickly warp and get stuck, leading to complete immobility for the user within a short period. Weapons would be barely usable after a few hard strikes; even warhammers could end up as crumpled slabs after not too long.

Plus gold is quite a heavy metal in itself. And the malleability means it makes for a crappy armour anyways.

Why dos time-of-day not come into effect for a fortress?

Quantum time. One "tick" is simply too short for a (non-teleporting) dorf to find the time to eat, sleep, drink, go On Break and still find the time for work, all in one day. That's why they do each of the above consequently for a month at a time.
Also cave adaptation.

Why is aluminum a rare metal in the DF 'verse?

[Graknorke]

Why is aluminum a rare metal in the DF 'verse?

Because pure aluminium nuggets are rare in the real world.

Why do dwarves have such a different sense of ownership than us?

[Xob Ludosmbax]

Why is aluminum a rare metal in the DF 'verse?

Because pure aluminium nuggets are rare in the real world.

Aside: If you were previously unaware of the historic rarity and expense of aluminum, it's actually quite interesting.  It was once more valuable than gold or platinum.  The cap of the Washington Monument in D.C. is made of aluminum.  At the time it was crafted, aluminum was about as valuable as silver, and when the cap was placed, aluminum had become inexpensive, due to the invention of the Hall–Héroult_process.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hall–Héroult_process#Impact
http://www.scienceminusdetails.com/2010/11/rise-and-fall-of-william-aluminum.html

[Sus]

Aside: If you were previously unaware of the historic rarity and expense of aluminum, it's actually quite interesting.  It was once more valuable than gold or platinum.  The cap of the Washington Monument in D.C. is made of aluminum.  At the time it was crafted, aluminum was about as valuable as silver, and when the cap was placed, aluminum had become inexpensive, due to the invention of the Hall–Héroult_process.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hall–Héroult_process#Impact
http://www.scienceminusdetails.com/2010/11/rise-and-fall-of-william-aluminum.html

Welp, that makes for some pretty interesting reading, actually. I didn't come to think of how hard it is to actually coerce the oxygen out of aluminum oxide. I just thought that since aluminum is the most common metal around, it must also be dirt cheap... Well, it is nowdays, but only becase of the advanced metallurgy involved in smelting bauxite.
(Curse you, now I'll be unable to get away from Wikipedia for hours!)

[GoombaGeek]

Also, heated or liquid aluminum doesn't glow at all, making it extremely dangerous [/truefact]

[i2amroy]

Also, heated or liquid aluminum doesn't glow at all, making it extremely dangerous [/truefact]

Actually false, Proof, though a common misconception.

And to get back on topic:

Why do dwarves have such a different sense of ownership than us?

Because When the dwarven economy collapsed back in 2010 communism beat capitalism in the DF world. Now the proud ownership of the state rules in all fortresses. Capitalism is making a resurgence in the ownership of clothes again though.

How can dwarven traders meet with nobles even if they are on the other side of a solid stone wall?

[pisskop]

Beards tapping moris code upon the wall.

Why does your own civ raise prices on items you need?

[Monk321654]

Because you NEED them, and they know how to make a quick shilling.

Why do dwarves not have any potato like plants despite living underground?

[FlickerFly]

They do, but the plants are entirely useless so the dwarves just discard them.

Why do dwarves think of such stupid names?