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[Xob Ludosmbax]

Ever had a stout beer?  Dwarven beer is even thicker than that. 

Why does my mega-!!SCIENCE!!-project keep getting derailed?

[Orky_Boss]

Ever had a stout beer?  Dwarven beer is even thicker than that. 

Why does my mega-!!SCIENCE!!-project keep getting derailed?

Because you forgot to put wheels on the thing?

Why do plump helmets grow so fast when the mushrooms are in fact the reproductive organs of the fungas? And why don't goblins employ the use of siege engines like trebuchets?

[Komra]

1. Like the dwarves that cultivate them, plump helmet spores require a seed point to grow. Also like dwarves, their reproductive processes are scarily fast. Generations of selective breeding may have been in play, along with a possible symbiotic connection to the dwarven hive.
2. Nobody uses mobile siege engines as of yet- cave mounts provide a suitable equivalent in terms of stopping power.

WHat's with all the elaborate beard-braiding? Doesn't that impede its use as a tool?

[Halceon]

Have you learned nothing from folk tales?
"Alone you are weak, together you are strong"
Same goes for beard strands - a loose beard is a weak beard, barely able to hold a fork. A neatly braided beard, however, can be made into a net, so that a dwarf can haul a heavy object WHILE weilding a warhammer and shield and operating door handles.

Why can't you order clothing made in complete sets from the manager's office? 80 sets of trousers + robe + shoes + cap, please!

[Blizzlord]

Because the managing position makes the dwarf forget what a set is. He can only process individual items, hundreds at a time.

Why does nobody remember Slaves to Armok: God of Blood Chapter 1?

[Monk321654]

There was a chapter 1?
I thought Toady put in Chapter 2 just as stylistic choice.

What if dwarves suffered from ocular conditions like near and far sighted-ness?

[Mr S]

The price of Clear Glass would go through the roof.

Why is there no tool -tortoise sheel beard comb-?

[MaximumZero]

Dwarves comb their beards with Large Serrated Disc traps.

When you mod masks to be common for dwarves, why are they made of metal?

[Komra]

Wooden masks are to voodoo-like and elven, while stone and clay masks are either too heavy or uncarvable (depending on thickness). Glass masks... don't really make sense. Metal's really the only way to go.

How can a creature's bloodstain cover a square of semi-elastic space?

[MaximumZero]

You hit them really hard.

If all the demons are sealed by adamantine, how do some escape to rule goblin civs?

[Frontestro]

The goblins kidnap a dwarf kid with a toy pick. The kid digs to deep. The child dies in the ensuing release of HFS and the toy pick is lost to the test of time. Because it is only a small breach only a couple of HFS get out. They then raise quickly in popularity with the gobbos.

Why can a dwarf fall 7 z-levels and live (sometimes) but if a rock falls on them from 1 z level high they get atom smashed?

[acetech09]

Dwarves are light and fluffy. Boulders are heavy and hard. Boulders hit the ground with much more gusto than dwarves do.

Why can a vampire survive his first 20-z fall with only a few broken toes, while the second one bashes his skull in?

[Blizzlord]

Because falling on your leg does not damage you that much, while falling on your skull is fatal.

Why are there fewer awesome threads on the board than it used to be?

[MaximumZero]

Vector, and the lack thereof.

Who's excited to be able to pitch a dwarven tent!?

[Komra]

Not me- a tent made of metal mesh would be too heavy. I hate clothiers too much to bother with their materials, and stone's no option either.

Who wants to start impaling enemy heads on pikes?