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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 466636 times)

tahujdt

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why are dwarfs so awsome?
Because they are channeling the awesomeness of Toady. (Ninja'd)

If elite Marksdwarfes can hit a toe with menacing precision, why dont they go for headshots?
Because that makes it too easy. A proper dwarf kills someone one toe at a time.


Why are dwarves invulnerable to catapults, but not to ballistae?
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I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
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flieroflight

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Law of inverse probability.
The less likely a shot to hit, the greater the accuracy.
So, by purposefully aiming for hard to hit bits, they improve their accuracy.

Why cant hydras regenerate?
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Eric Blank

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Because Toady hasn't gotten to that yet. Or maybe he fears they'd be too terrifying at that point and he'd have to turn their DIFFICULTY:x tag up to 11, which would mean adventurers rarely see them.

Why don't dwarves just do what they're told for a change?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

crazysheep

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Because the booze tells them otherwise.

Do dwarves like minecarts?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

Frontestro

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They love them. Which is why they go to great lengths to hug them while they speed down the tracks at 90 miles per hour.

Why can lungfish fly?
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krenshala

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They love them. Which is why they go to great lengths to hug them while they speed down the tracks at 90 miles per hour.

Why can lungfish fly?
Their lungs are large enough to provide lift when flapped like wings.

Why do dwarves get upset at long patrols, but enraged if you give them time off every few months instead of working them non-stop?
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

crazysheep

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They are fond of industry, so they get unhappy when you take them off work. At the same time they need alcohol to get through the working day, and long patrols deny them of their alcohol, which makes them upset.

What do dwarves see in elves?
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Graebeard

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Various edged weapons, frequently.

Why won't dwarfs pull the bones out of corpses for use in industry; but it's totally OK to use them after waiting years for the flesh to decay naturally?
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Corai

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Various edged weapons, frequently.

Why won't dwarfs pull the bones out of corpses for use in industry; but it's totally OK to use them after waiting years for the flesh to decay naturally?

They dont believe in defiling the dead, but if it defiles itself it is fine.

Why are elven wood spears so good at murdering?
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

crazysheep

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The trees were sung into the shape of weapons, which makes them way more deadly than carving wood into weapons.

Why is elven armour crap?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

acetech09

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If it was better, Toady would be forced to spend time programming more ways for us to kill them. Toady would rather be coding civilization conflicts.

Been 11 months since I posted in this thread.

Why have dwarves suddenly become smarter?
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Callista

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In all those years of eating the prepared brains of various unusual creatures, some of the leftover intelligence must have seeped into their booze-soaked minds.

Care to tell me why the human caravan just brought a barrel of dwarf blood to my depot?
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GoombaGeek

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In all those years of eating the prepared brains of various unusual creatures, some of the leftover intelligence must have seeped into their booze-soaked minds.

Care to tell me why the human caravan just brought a barrel of dwarf blood to my depot?
They've begun worshipping Armok and bring this fluid as an offering to his highest priest, disguised as a worthless child of your fortress. Soon the sacrifices will begin...!

Why do dwarves not gather around glass windows into a room where two insane elves, crazed with hunger and bloodlust, are fighting to the death? Hell, I'd expect the entire fortress to be jostling for a good view while someone makes +dwarven popcorn biscuits+ out of dwarven wine and dwarven wine.
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acetech09

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They do see. And slowly be traumatized by it. But they wouldn't lower themselves and act like they want to see an elf, no matter how badly it's being slaughtered.

Why do the merchants buy mercury-laden cinnabar mugs year after year?
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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

crazysheep

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Because it's the secret to keeping a fort's total population low. (nope, d_init settings don't work as well as this :P)

Why do dwarves bury their dead instead of offering them as a blood sacrifice to Armok?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."
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