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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 473313 times)

Komra

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Wagons are very timid creatures. When they can avoid the danger of traps, they will, but if something scary comes near, they bolt in a blind panic.

Why are there no dwarven painters, only dyers?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

crazysheep

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Why are there no dwarven painters, only dyers?
Because dwarves are such masters of rock and stone that everything made of rock is already infused with a particular colour. Hence the lack of painters, as no paint is required.

Why do vampires not transform bitten victims into vampires, just as described in popular vampire stories?
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Darkening Kaos

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Why are there no dwarven painters, only dyers?

Heathen!  Dorf's paint their walls with all shades of red - elf scarlet, kobold crimson, goblin ruby.  Most notably on external walls and fortress entrances, places where dorfs know it will be appreciated for the art it truly is.

What would happen if dorfs mastered the ballistic trajectory?

Edit: Ninja'd but posting anway: Next poster, choose which question you answer.
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So! Failed to make peace, war looms, kill the infidels... what are our plans for the weekend?
The Giant Moles in the caverns of my current fort breed like crazy, even while regularly being decimated by other beasts entering them...

Broseph Stalin

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Giant ramps that launch precision magma filled minecart strikes on dark towers and forest retreats.

Why can't an injured dwarf drink booze?

Monk321654

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Giant ramps that launch precision magma filled minecart strikes on dark towers and forest retreats.

Why can't an injured dwarf drink booze?
If the dwarf is injured, their normally strong livers cannot work as well, thus the poisons that they normally ignore can become quite a problem.
Water is the only drink that works in their favor at this point.

If cats have [ADOPTS_OWNER], why don't big cats (Lions, Tigers, Panthers) have it?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

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Blizzlord

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Because dwarves have an inherent fear for large cats. That makes it so that their CWS does not affect dwarves. When the great cats try to adopt something runs away in fear.

What would happen if you fused together adamantine and slade? Not a WTFish thing but who cares?
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Monk321654

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Because dwarves have an inherent fear for large cats. That makes it so that their CWS does not affect dwarves. When the great cats try to adopt something runs away in fear.

What would happen if you fused together adamantine and slade? Not a WTFish thing but who cares?
Sladeamantine.
The intense weight of Slade.
The shear strength and cutting power of Adamantine.
And also entirely unmineable.
So, in short, powerful, but useless.

What would happen if you made a giant version of a Dragon?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Graknorke

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You'd have something whose dandruff you could use as nigh indestructible walls.

Why do dwarves take such simple dining rooms as legendary?
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Broseph Stalin

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You'd have something whose dandruff you could use as nigh indestructible walls.

Why do dwarves take such simple dining rooms as legendary?

They don't really, they're just trying to get the engravers to start drawing pictures of the dining room instead of pictures of dwarves being eviscerated.

If adamantine is a twice as hard as adamantine (adamantine laughs at your puny notions of physics) how can you mine it?

adasdad

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well, the predominant theory, which was first thought up in an adamantine physics thread, is that adamantine comes in tiny chains, that act essentially as fibers. the dwarfs simply nock out the surrounding stone, and pull the tangled adamantine strands out, ready to be either unwound into thread or heated and pounded into a rigid shape.

Why has no one made a dubstep remix of the fortress theme?
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xoseph

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well, the predominant theory, which was first thought up in an adamantine physics thread, is that adamantine comes in tiny chains, that act essentially as fibers. the dwarfs simply nock out the surrounding stone, and pull the tangled adamantine strands out, ready to be either unwound into thread or heated and pounded into a rigid shape.

Why has no one made a dubstep remix of the fortress theme?

Because dubstep is a terrible fad would definitely cause a tantrum spiral is obviously a goblin creation.
Why can dwarves, under normal circumstances, only make beds out of wood?

« Last Edit: July 02, 2012, 04:14:19 pm by xoseph »
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Monk321654

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Because dubstep is a terrible fad would definitely cause a tantrum spiral is obviously a goblin creation.
Why can dwarves, under normal circumstances, only make beds out of wood?
Why the hell would you sleep on a cold stone slab, or a sheet of metal, or rough freakin' glass, or slippery soap, or cold ice, or- you get my point?
Wood is the most comfortable of materials that is also solid.
Dwarves aren't stupid.

What if dwarves discovered and harnessed electricity?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Corai

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Because dubstep is a terrible fad would definitely cause a tantrum spiral is obviously a goblin creation.
Why can dwarves, under normal circumstances, only make beds out of wood?
Why the hell would you sleep on a cold stone slab, or a sheet of metal, or rough freakin' glass, or slippery soap, or cold ice, or- you get my point?
Wood is the most comfortable of materials that is also solid.
Dwarves aren't stupid.

What if dwarves discovered and harnessed electricity?

Weaponize it.

Wwud if dwarves discovered nuclear science?
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Graknorke

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Run. Run and never look back.

Would kobolds have thieving pets?
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Komra

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They keep rats as pets. Rodents remind them of their families when they have to go off on work ventures.

Why can't dwarves build a fence? Palisades seem to be the only option.
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.
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