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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 466715 times)

misko27

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  • Lawful Neutral; Prophet of Pestilence
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Not really a wtf, but how do you search for wars and battles specifically?
Easy,  go searching through the era, and when you find something in yellow, press enter. You get info on the battle. Then, you press enter again, and you get info on the war itself.

why are particularly mean megabeasts worshpped as gods? only ones with obscene kill counts.
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Kassil

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why are particularly mean megabeasts worshpped as gods? only ones with obscene kill counts.

They worship them in hopes of appeasing and diverting them.

Why can't I manage to embark on a 16x16 area without causing my computer to scream in woe and agony?
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Wheelbarrows with wheels are inferior to the true wheelbarrow.
you mean elves with loads of stone loaded onto their backs while walking on their hands with dwarves holding their legs to guide them?

Orky_Boss

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why are particularly mean megabeasts worshpped as gods? only ones with obscene kill counts.

They worship them in hopes of appeasing and diverting them.

Why can't I manage to embark on a 16x16 area without causing my computer to scream in woe and agony?

Because your computer cannot stand the pure awesomeness of 16 acreas of dwarven land at once.
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Shit! He's flatlining! Quick, get the Doctor in!

Doctor: Nah, I'm on break.

Kassil

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Because your computer cannot stand the pure awesomeness of 16 acreas of dwarven land at once.

Because you didn't ask another question, that's why.

How is it that the RNG is so capable of poetic and/or ironic names, such as the ill-fated embark of Uristnom, where the starting seven were all devoured by crocodiles within minutes of unpausing?
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Wheelbarrows with wheels are inferior to the true wheelbarrow.
you mean elves with loads of stone loaded onto their backs while walking on their hands with dwarves holding their legs to guide them?

Monk321654

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How is it that the RNG is so capable of poetic and/or ironic names, such as the ill-fated embark of Uristnom, where the starting seven were all devoured by crocodiles within minutes of unpausing?
The RNG is a gerbil on a wheel.
It runs around in circles, spinning a stick.
The stick is hoisted over a bunch of wheels.
When a name is being generated, a random binary number is sent out. (Example: 100101)
When the number gets into the system, it causes the wheel to suddenly stop, and the stick drops down.
The wheels that the stick drops onto are covered in random words and phrases.
Thus, it may be foretelling.

Why do walls drop instantly while everything else drops in an arc?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

misko27

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Simple. You know how dwarven walls are impossible to destroy unless you know the secrtes of dwarven enginering? even how walls of wood and ice cant melt? well, in order to subvert the laws of physics in this way, they are forced to make it hyper-dense. In doing sso, if it is removed rom its support, it falls at such a speed that it can kill anythinbg underneath.
(yes, i answered to questions at once.)

Why do dwarves have the smallest arsenal of possible weaponry?
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Maxmurder

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Dwarven weaponsmiths find it insulting if asked to make an elf-lovers weapon like a whip or bow.

Why are all beds made of wood?
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The Sponge has become enraged!
Without a nervous system...
The only thing they can feel...
IS ANGER.

darkrider2

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Because A) The bed is made entirely of the source material, no sofa's, not even straw, just what goes into it. And who wants to sleep right on pure metal/rock? Artifact beds are an exception, as they defy the laws of physics, they are the most comfortable beds in existence thanks to the soft metal/stone that the user will be laying on.

And B) Because it insults the elves. When a dwarf wishes to sleep, they sleep knowing every ounce of their comfort comes exclusively at the cost of a tree, a tree that was cut down, and somewhere out there, in the forest retreats, an elf is crying.

Why do children agree to disassemble constructions while refusing to do any other work whatsoever?
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Kassil

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Why do children agree to disassemble constructions while refusing to do any other work whatsoever?

Have you ever known a kid who didn't like to break things? Dorf kids are the same, and tearing down unbreakable walls delights them.

Why isn't there a Dwarf Fortress: the Role-Playing Game yet?
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Wheelbarrows with wheels are inferior to the true wheelbarrow.
you mean elves with loads of stone loaded onto their backs while walking on their hands with dwarves holding their legs to guide them?

Corai

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There is, check the community fortress section. "If Bay 12 was a mountainhall"




Why dont elves get into war with dwarves in worldgen?
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

krenshala

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Sometimes they do. I love embarking as a civ at war with elves.

Why can dwarves remove a locked door, but not pass through it if they really want to?
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

misko27

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Orders are orders.

Where is the sanity in constantly attacking my fort if vitually no one survives and the only survivers are a broken, straggling force of bleeding goblins and escapees from torture chambers?
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Bobnova

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Who said goblins are sane?


How can you allow goblins to escape from your torture chambers?!?
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how do I lizard Werewolf
ther seems to be a little gecko problem somehwere.
O gawd, drank all ten beers. And 3/5 of this at dinner.  I'm dronk.

misko27

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Happens when I'm calibrating a device for effectiveness. Sometimes I undershoot the mark and a gobbo evades security, and once I forgot that trolls are building destroyers and a group of naked gladiators became naked escapees. Fortunately, while my military was unable to kill all of them, those that escaped lost a limb or two.  :P

Anyway, why does candy clothing wear out? So not fair.
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Rose

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Candy is mostly just sugar, which is water, and thus sweat, soluble.

Why does adamantine clothing wear out? It's supposed to be indestructible.
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