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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 466789 times)

Komra

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Why would there be only ONE elf being dumped in the pit? Question invalid.

What would happen if a dwarf were to shave?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

jaxy15

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He would be immediately lynched.

Why is adamantine blue?
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

Monk321654

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He would be immediately lynched.

Why is adamantine blue?
One of the thousand ingredients used to forge the metal before throwing it into the World was Troll Blood.

What are the other 999 ingredients of Blue Metal?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Urist McGyver

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998 strings of dwarven beard and a sock.

Why the heck do aquifers have unlimited water?
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It's treated as completely normal because this is Dwarf Fortress.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with a wall of flames, only to later realize that you're surrounded by a wall of flames.
There's nothing that can't be solved by hurling fifteen roc birds at it.

Harald387

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Why the heck do aquifers have unlimited water?

They're powered by the tears of all the players who've tried and failed to breach the aquifer layer.

Exactly what goes into a 'liquid barrel'?
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"I will answer fealty with fealty, protection with protection, justice with justice, and oathbreaking with vengeance, so help me God"

-David Weber, "Field of Dishonor"

Broseph Stalin

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If the merchants told you you wouldn't buy it.

Why can't you make weapons out of forgotten beast metal?

Monk321654

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If the merchants told you you wouldn't buy it.

Why can't you make weapons out of forgotten beast metal?
The same forces that corrupt their bodies and minds corrupts their very remains.
The metal is useless, for it takes no form and cannot be shaped by hammer or anvil alike.

Why are there Animalmen of everything except Domestic animals? I had to mod in Cow people all by myself.
Logged
This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Graebeard

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Why are there Animalmen of everything except Domestic animals? I had to mod in Cow people all by myself.

Because dwarves consumed any progeny that might have gone on to develop inteligence.

Why does magma warm the tiles above and below it, but not the tiles to the side?
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At last, she is done.

Urist McGyver

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So you can pour it into a barrel and sell it to the elves.

How are babies dwarves made?
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It's treated as completely normal because this is Dwarf Fortress.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with a wall of flames, only to later realize that you're surrounded by a wall of flames.
There's nothing that can't be solved by hurling fifteen roc birds at it.

Monk321654

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So you can pour it into a barrel and sell it to the elves.

How are babies dwarves made?
Goodness, everyone knows this!
Spores.

Why don't Catapults fire projectiles in an arc? (Yet?)
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Komra

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Catapults are actually railguns.

Why do wells and screw pumps require a block rather than allowing boulders, ingots, logs, etc.?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

WaffleEggnog

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Because blocks have to be used for something

Why does Urist McWarriormother use her child as a shield then complain when it dies as she drops it on the ground?
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WHEN POSSIBLE, I PREFER TO CONSUME YOUR FACE.

Monk321654

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Because blocks have to be used for something

Why does Urist McWarriormother use her child as a shield then complain when it dies as she drops it on the ground?
Any proud Dwarven mother (Or father for that matter) expects their child to be as strong as possible!
They complain that the child is weak, and unfit!

What powers a Bronze Colossus?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Vodrilus

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A wizard did it.

Why does the hammerer need to find another hammer to do his work even if  he's already got one?
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Going backwards in reversed time (just like everybody else).

WaffleEggnog

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Because his old hammer is obviously bittle, weak, used, and worn down, and now that he is a Hemmerer, he has no use for this commoners hammer! He needs a hammer meant fr a true noble!

Why dont dwarves use their epic beards in combat?
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WHEN POSSIBLE, I PREFER TO CONSUME YOUR FACE.
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