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[i2amroy]

It would be decidedly more... elvish... (Ahh! Blasphemy!)

Why must kittens brave all odds, climbing though staircases, airlocks, and several pet-tight doors in order to crawl their lowly selves into my danger room only to be impaled on wooden spears?

[Shurhaian]

Those kittens are sacrifices in the name of the Great Feline Conspiracy. By transmitting some of their misery to their mind-controlled dwarven hosts, they work toward the downfall of dwarven civilization, one tantrum at a time.

Why, when told to go to an indoor burrow, do dwarves who happen to be outdoors run away from the entrance(s) and right toward the attacking goblins, only to complain about the "interruptions", mill about in confusion, and get shot, impaled, hacked apart, pounded to a pulp, or otherwise brutally slain?

[jaxy15]

Their beards are too thick to process the "Get in burrow" command.

What would dwarves be like if beards didnt exist?

[Tevish Szat]

What would dwarves be like if beards didnt exist?

Female.

Why does the wind never change on a given map?

[Komra]

The wind continuously goes in the same direction, all around the world. This is due to a strange gravitational setup with the dwarves' flat planet- the moon is always in the same spot, drawing air towards it. New air fill the void at the other side of the world.

What will the first use of electricity be if dwarves discover it?

[acetech09]

Electric motors to spin those cotton candy serrated discs even faster.

Why can a dwarf (I'm currently in adventure mode, hunting) haul 10 rhinoceros corpses, 7 giraffe corpses, 5 gazelle corpses, 2 honey badger corpses, and 130 copper bolts and still be able to move?

[andyman564]

because dwarves don't get an encumbrance penalty.

why doesn't the sun set in fortress mode?

[peskyninja]

Because DF world has an empty border,so the sun and moon need to be generated every morning and everning and this would cause massive lag if your fort have more than 1 kitten.

why dwarfs are short?

[Ehndras]

because dwarves don't get an encumbrance penalty.

why doesn't the sun set in fortress mode?

Because Armok scares the shit out of the Sun god.

--- --- ---

Dwarves are short because their dense beards defy gravity, pulling them down towards the ground.

Question:

How do goblins find that one accidental opening in the massive layer of walls surrounding my hillside fortress by walking from a hill to the top of a long link of walls, to go down an abandoned construction ramp, to be discovered only once they've gone all the way down the constantly-traveled lengthy road into my fortress without being spotted?

[Theifofdreams]

Because you don't pay enough attention, and goblins are sneaky bastards.

Why, given that we have a pause button, do so many easily avoidable bad things happen?

[Ehndras]

Because you don't pay enough attention, and goblins are sneaky bastards.

Why, given that we have a pause button, do so many easily avoidable bad things happen?

Because our fortresses are engineered to fail. ((And to your answer: considering how I'm an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist who spends ridiculous amounts of time just covering embark basics, with an extreme penchant for perfect symmetry and designs, its so saddening that I miss places. Here's an example of me spending hours using XP Paint to make designs. http://maximilian-aurea.deviantart.com/art/Chaotic-Origins-134661047 Zoom in to go "How long did it take to make that!? Answer is, 4 months at maximum possible zoom, one pixel at a time, a few hours a day.))

Why is it that I can spend 15 hours designing my fortress only to have a random fucking pool of water completely murder my design by being in the most utterly horrible location possible? That and freezing ponds/moats, I hate you.

[Spaghetti]

Cuz you must dig deeper to have a true dwarven fortress

why is it that severed limbs and organs do more damage than a conventional weapon?

[Ehndras]

Cuz you must dig deeper to have a true dwarven fortress

why is it that severed limbs and organs do more damage than a conventional weapon?

Because DF gives you bonus points for killing an elf swordsman with his own leg.

Question:

Why would anyone willingly befriend the Elves?

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Because cloth trade is useful.

How many people here actually understand the origin of the hatred of the elves and aren't just spouting old memes in an attempt to appear funny?

[Tersr]

A few I assume.

Didn't it start because they demanded you not to cut trees, offer wood goods, or plant/animal products, even though they themself do all of that without even a hint of irony?