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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 475455 times)

Silent_Thunder

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Dwarven survival trait, keeps the population from getting too large.

Why does my mayor always ban exports of our most profitable items?

Theifofdreams

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He's trying to increase demand.

Why doesn't my architect remove the item that prevents him from building in that square?

kopout

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because it is designated to be used to build something else. If he moves it the dwarf that was going to use it cant find it.
why can't I think of a good question?
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"Karl Marx: Family jewels"
"Everyone's equally less rich than me!"
Quote from: Lezard
...although I've been having so much fun failing at this I just about forgot what my original aim was.

Komra

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Because you aren't me.

Why does every breeding creature only reproduce by spore? (if you don't know the reference, it's because females can become impregnated from anywhere, without contact)
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

MonsteR

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Because DF is a family-friendly game. At least when limbs aren't soaring in arcs and people aren't coughing up blood. Luckily the graphics aren't very.... graphic, so if they aren't old enough to read there's no worry.

Why is the site finder such a dirty liar when it comes to metal and flux?
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Spaghetti

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Because its actually just a dwarf guessing

"YOU SAID THERE WAS SHALLOW METAL HERE"
"UH keep digging!"

Why is the king of the humans a bipedal pig thing that can breathe fire and is unable to speak?
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Tevish Szat

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Why is the king of the humans a bipedal pig thing that can breathe fire and is unable to speak?

Pigs are very human like in many respects, fire-breathing keeps the peons in line, and not being able to speak is a plus in a politician noble

Why are dead dwarves so often ectatic?
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A medium-sized humanoid fond of fantasy and science-fiction.

Tevish Szat likes books, computers, board games, and cats for their aloofness. When possible, he prefers to consume hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. He needs caffeine to get through the working day.

Tersr

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You would be happy too if you never had to work again and sleep all day. They are no longer suffering from an average fort.

Why are human forts made up of random rough stone? I've seen one made out of native platnium before.
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Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

Komra

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Their heritage does not base upon mining, and they do not appreciate its value. Medieval humans didn't care too much about platinum, I would think. So they just use whatever's handy at the time.

Why does dwarven technology include windmills, pumps, and huge axles, but not war vehicles like chariots or mobile catapults? Do they not care to use tech for war? (yes yes yes, we can make trap systems, but that's not an integrated technology)
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

jaxy15

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Dwarves find their buildings so beautiful, they never move them unless told to deconstruct it.

Why don't dwarves ever get dental problems?
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

TheJackal

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Incredibly strong dwarven alcohol kills germs and the dreaded GINGIVITIS with ease.


Why do quantum entanglement levers take so long to activate? The coupled triggering should proceed at supralight speeds!
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Urist Da Vinci

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...
Why do quantum entanglement levers take so long to activate? The coupled triggering should proceed at supralight speeds!
They do work instantly. Try hooking one up to a hatch or door. The delay for a bridge takes place in the bridge itself.

Why do dwarves' skills rust so fast, compared to their lifespan and to other races?

fluffhead

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Because you aren't me.

Why does every breeding creature only reproduce by spore? (if you don't know the reference, it's because females can become impregnated from anywhere, without contact)

I like to think that it's aliens who are abducting the animals while the dwarfs are not looking and then breeding them artificially.  It only happens when both male and female animals are on the maps because the aliens are lazy and don't want to search for  breeding pairs.  I assume that they are like call service reps who try to plow through phone calls as fast as they can to meet a certain calls per minute standards.  The aliens are similiar, they have a alien manager who judges their performance based on an impregnations per minute ratio (IPM).  Thus if there isn't a male/female pair within veiw then they say fuck forget it and go on to the easier animals which have a mate within beaming distance.  This inturn increases their IPM getting them a better raise which allows them to buy more than a half of tank of fuel at a time.  After many of these raises, the aliens are still barely able to afford their fuel and start moving on to bigger and bigger creatures.  One might even propose that this may be the explanation for all those new dwarven babies that keep popping out.  I mean I swear I never see anybody showing affection to each other, and I definately don't ever see anybody sleeping in the same beds so I'm not sure how else those dwarfs get pregnant.  In fact I have a feeling that they get paid extra when they breed a pair a dwarfs.  Somthing about this will help ensure that the magma fountains and tower of Schiest gets completed.  I dunno about you, but I have certainly wondered if this is what happens.
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Tersr

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...
Why do quantum entanglement levers take so long to activate? The coupled triggering should proceed at supralight speeds!
They do work instantly. Try hooking one up to a hatch or door. The delay for a bridge takes place in the bridge itself.

Why do dwarves' skills rust so fast, compared to their lifespan and to other races?

As much as they would like to not belive, alcohol kills brain cells, so they forget how to do things quicker then others.

Why don't dwarfs play the instruments they make?
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Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

Locke

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Have you ever HEARD a dwarf sing? That's why.

Why do I only get ambushes when I just finished mass designating forest for cutting?
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No, I am not Locke from Final Fantasy.
No, I am not Locke from Lost.
I'm from Ender's Game, Mofo.
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