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[jaxy15]

Mechanisms, regardless of origin or shape, are blessed by the elf god.

The blessing makes them magically make stuff work.

Why do cats adopt dwarves?

[Excedion]

Self-preservation


Why do dwarves refuse to put on the new clothes I make for them?

[twwolfe]

they're still in mourning for thier last sets of clothes.

Why do dwarves fish with thier beards instead of using fishing poles?

[Gnauga]

Because the fish pull on their beards, which makes them grow longer which is, of course, theprimary source of dwarven ego.

Why do forgotten beasts target carried babies before armed soldiers?

[Tersr]

Bag of meat or metal with sharper metal?

Why do mother soldiers bring their babies to work?

[Sscral]

They want to keep them safe from goblin babysnatchers, and getting horribly maimed is character building.

Why can babies punch a horrible creature of undiluted doom in the face and instantly kill it?

[Tersr]

Because the baby is a dwarf, it could rip a troll's arm off if it wanted.

Why is platnium worth the same melted as it is native?

[Theifofdreams]

Mechanisms, regardless of origin or shape, are blessed by the elf god.
The blessing makes them magically make stuff work.

I don't think I can, as a proper dwarf fortress player, conscientiously, use mechanisms in my fortresses any more. 

Platinum is worth the same melted or native because it shines good regardless.

Why can't elves be more awesome? Only one of them ever proved to be useful as anything but bait, kindling, or practice. 

[Mister Dirks]

Mechanisms, regardless of origin or shape, are blessed by the elf god.
The blessing makes them magically make stuff work.

I don't think I can, as a proper dwarf fortress player, conscientiously, use mechanisms in my fortresses any more. 

Platinum is worth the same melted or native because it shines good regardless.

Why can't elves be more awesome? Only one of them ever proved to be useful as anything but bait, kindling, or practice.

Toady only put them in DF for our amusement. And sadistic pleasures.

Why must every dwarf in my fortress shit their pants when they see a half-dead unconcious sturgeon floating right next to the waterfall, and the Batshit insane merchant guards actually go after the damn fish, and explode like glorious confetti at the bottom of the waterfall?

[Theifofdreams]

Dwarfs can shit?

Why can't I have garbage dumps that only accept certain items?

[Elisebambi]

Because you haven't discovered stockpiles yet.


Why has this thread reached nine pages?

DOUBLE WHAMMY

Why does 100 z levels above ground cause so much lag? :O  I wanna have my 100 z level spires goddamn it!

[jaxy15]

Because this thread is cool.

And also, because nothing can comprehend the awesomeness of a 100 Z level spire, therefore slowing them down.

Why don't dragon eggs hatch? (I want a silly answer, dammit.)

[Elisebambi]

They haven't had ENOUGH DORF BLOOD TO FERTILIZE DEM EGGS. (fact: dwarves are comparable in size to a single sperm cell of a mature dragon.   Its true!)


((If you didn't get a visual of a dragon-sperm duking it out with a dwarf to NOM ITS WAY INTO THE EGG... you suck.))




ALSO SRS BUSNS TO RUIN YOUR SHIT.


Dragon eggs need to be bathed in fire almost constantly, OR SHOVED BACK IN THE FIREY LOINS ON ITS MOTHER(/under its mother) to have a CHANCE at hatching.

[Wimopy]

Well, you forgot to have a question:

Why do you need an anvil to make an anvil, when together they are (in my imagination) the same size as a dwarf, so putting an anvil on an anvil to give it an anvil shape makes it actually harder?

[Sscral]

Silly, they don't put things ON the anvil, they use their beard for that, the anvil is to hammer it into shape with.

Since dwarf blood is 80% alcohol, why don't they explode when they catch on fire?