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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 454227 times)

GoombaGeek

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Because they are creating a true work of art, and it only stays a true work of art as long as it is the only one in existence.

Why didn't Toady give goblins the [INDIV_CONTROLLABLE] tag?
Because during testing, long ago, Toady had made a fort, and nicknamed one of the dwarfs after himself, complete with Scamps by his side.

But then a vile force of darkness arrived. It was taken out by a trapped hallway, and there were no casualties... except for the bloody head of Scamps, blasted across the hallway by a single lucky shot with a mace.

No words could describe how traumatizing this was, and goblins never got [INDIV_CONTROLLABLE] as a result.

How can traps magically sense alignment and insanity?
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My wooden badge was delicious.

celem

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They dont, but the bad guys dont know where they are and the mad good guys dont care, everyone else goes around.

Why is it that dwarves weaponize everything, contriving elaborate ways to kill goblins with excessive complexity when a pointed stick works fine?
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Marksdwarf Pillboxes
I wish I had something cool to say about this.  Because it's really cool.

WellBredMutt

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They dont, but the bad guys dont know where they are and the mad good guys dont care, everyone else goes around.

Why is it that dwarves weaponize everything, contriving elaborate ways to kill goblins with excessive complexity when a pointed stick works fine?
It's a religious thing. Dwarves feel compelled to make everything around them into a weapon as a way of giving praise to Armok and reminding themselves that death and destruction (and, as such, the essence of their god) are around them at all times.

How do dwarves make a concealable stone-fall trap in the middle of an open area... with no ceiling?
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Gentlefish

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They dont, but the bad guys dont know where they are and the mad good guys dont care, everyone else goes around.

Why is it that dwarves weaponize everything, contriving elaborate ways to kill goblins with excessive complexity when a pointed stick works fine?
It's a religious thing. Dwarves feel compelled to make everything around them into a weapon as a way of giving praise to Armok and reminding themselves that death and destruction (and, as such, the essence of their god) are around them at all times.

How do dwarves make a concealable stone-fall trap in the middle of an open area... with no ceiling?

Simple. They just reverse gravity so the stone falls up to kill the target. They also found a way to shoot the boulder so fast at the ceiling it reaches terminal velocity before it even leaves the floor.

Komra

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Why can't dwarves use pipe sections to construct actual pipes, instad resorting to aqueducts?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Blizzlord

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Because a pipe outside a pump is a pipe to make pumps with. They abandoned all attempts at making pipelines after several fort were flooded due to craftsmen using the pipeline to make pumps.

Why pumps?
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
Most attempts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness on the internet will most likely end up in egregious delusions of eloquence. Finagle's law commands it!

crazysheep

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Because they like to move fluids for insane deathtraps.

Why deathtraps?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

adasdad

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because dismemberment.


Why can't dwarves think logically?
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There are no words to describe my state of euphoria right now...
euphoric?

crazysheep

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Dwarven logic is unlike human logic. What seems rational to dwarves often seems irrational to humans.

Why are elves cannibals?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

zubb2

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Because they only eat industrial things like dorfs and they dont want to waste other peaple like elves.
Cause they're hippies.
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(Anyone else have any stories that can compare to a man being beaten to death with his own trousers by a giant gopher?)
(when goblins showed up, I mumbled "Smithers! Release the hounds!" and had the lever pulled.)

Gentlefish

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Because they can't be completely  lame.

Why don't dwarves avoid fire?

crazysheep

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Fire is benign and kind. (in the latest version they now avoid fire)

Why is troll blood cyan?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

Corai

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Because they want to be special.

Why don't fisherdwarves bring a weapon to defend themselves from creature sized fish?
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Doughnut189

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Because none of the other fisherdwarves ever made it back to warn them about (carp and lampreys).

Why are plump helmets purple?
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Imagine you're driving a car. Push the gas pedal to the floor. Close your eyes. Remain this way for ten minutes while turning the wheel at whim. This is Dwarf Fortress.
I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

Gentlefish

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Because none of the other fisherdwarves ever made it back to warn them about (carp and lampreys).

Why are plump helmets purple?

One of two reasons.

1. They're the male dwarven genitalia, always dropping them spores.

2. Pure coincidence and there's no innuendo meant at all really I mean come on get your mind out of the gutter.
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