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[jaxy15]

No question, sooo..

Why do dwarves hate slavery?

[Monk321654]

No question, sooo..

Why do dwarves hate slavery?

Only a lazy jerk would have someone else do their work for them.
And also, Goblins do it.

What would happen if dwarves invented the steam engine?

[Vodrilus]

A greedy human would eventually steal the technology and begin an industrial revolution. (Get it?)

How are one-handed dwarves able to wield both a weapon and a shield with their remaining hand?

[Loud Whispers]

The shield is strapped onto their arm. Or their hand, considering the shield falls when their hands are cut off. Pretty nifty.

Why do merchants go insane when guards do not?

[misko27]

Clearly, it is secret android technology.

How can dwarves believe in a god of kindness in a world such as theres? Read the Diamond titan thread for more info on the evils of the world. oh, god, the HORROR.

[Loud Whispers]

Whilst Dwarves have many gods, amongst them many with positive aligned spheres, they are not outright good. There are reasons why Dwarves do not like good regions, despite them being "blessed."

AKA Frosty the snowrex.

Why do Dwarven children suddenly attain the ability to do every single job in the Dwarf arsenal at the age of 13, instead of a gradual slope of learning?

[Muddy Mudstone]

Why do Dwarven children suddenly attain the ability to do every single job in the Dwarf arsenal at the age of 13, instead of a gradual slope of learning?

Because unskilled dwarfs are no more competent than 13-year-olds who first heard of the job yesterday.

Why do pine trees turn red in autumn?

[misko27]

Because by that time, the sun has grown weak, and in order to conserve no longer useful chlorophyll they drain the leaves of the substance, leaving only remainder chemicals. This being Dwarf fortress, those chemicals are usually absorbed goblin blood.

What force decides what FBs and titans are created? And why can the be so EVIL!?!.

[Monk321654]

Because by that time, the sun has grown weak, and in order to conserve no longer useful chlorophyll they drain the leaves of the substance, leaving only remainder chemicals. This being Dwarf fortress, those chemicals are usually absorbed goblin blood.

What force decides what FBs and titans are created? And why can the be so EVIL!?!.

The Forgotten Beats and Titans were some of the worlds very first creatures. They were created by the Gods to be nearly indestructible, and all powerful. However, during a great Demon escape, before the casting of Adamantine, many of the Deep Titans, living far down in the caves were attacked by the demon scum. They were warped and twisted by the evil corruption, in mind body and soul. They were no longer the Titans the Gods created. They were beasts. And they were sealed away in the earth, and soon forgotten. The actual Titans on the surface maintain their original designs. It's just that all the ones you see are big jerks.

Who gives all these places in the world such weird names?

[Orky_Boss]

Most of the time, Armok is drunk (or his equivilent) when he's making the names of all the places, so he just names it whatever first comes to mind, no matter how wacky it is. Such as, thinking about fire imps as he names an iceburg, and so he calls it "Fireland".

Why are there no badass elves whatsoever? Sure, they're basterds as a whole, but shouldn't there be exceptions?

[Corai]

Most of the time, Armok is drunk (or his equivilent) when he's making the names of all the places, so he just names it whatever first comes to mind, no matter how wacky it is. Such as, thinking about fire imps as he names an iceburg, and so he calls it "Fireland".

Why are there no badass elves whatsoever? Sure, they're basterds as a whole, but shouldn't there be exceptions?

There are, alot of badasses. And the few that there are, there dwarfier then dwarves most of the time.


Why does Armok let us rule over dwarven kind?

[misko27]

Clearly, becuase we are more efficient at mass-killing things then thay are on their own.

Why can we clean inside but not outside?

[Komra]

It's kind of hard to towel down some blood-soaked soil. Stone, no problem.

How can a single stone be used and re-used to make a huge number of different structures?

[Monk321654]

It's kind of hard to towel down some blood-soaked soil. Stone, no problem.

How can a single stone be used and re-used to make a huge number of different structures?

Besides being experts at Quantum Mechanics, dwarves are also capable of performing Alchemy. They can turn a log into a Carpenters workshop, Three stones into a bridge, all that stuff, and then turn it back into three lumps of rock.
It's just that most of these stones and logs are much MUCH bigger then they look.

What causes all these animal people, and why are they only in savage regions?

[Silent_Thunder]

Clearly Armok got drunk off his ass and confused animals with people again.

Why are there 4 dead babies and a zombie giraffe in my well?