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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 475478 times)

Komra

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  • This is your brain on DF
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It turns out that the sky CAN fall- but it's rigid, so it got stuck on Mt. Everwork, the highest mountain. The sky then swung about so that some areas had less than others.

Why do dwarves believe any old hack who calls himself a high noble? How else do they keep getting replacement nobles?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

werty892

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Because they don't care bro, they just don't care. As for replacement nobles, they just get drafted from pheasant ranks.

Why do dwarves have beards?

Headhanger

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To catch any plump helmet wine that might otherwise be spilled and lost.

How come goblins always know where your fortress is?
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MonkeyHead

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  • Yma o hyd...
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How hard can it be to find that burning hellhole visible from the faint glow over the horizon, trail of the dead and tower of smoke? Oh, and the stench.

Who decided fly brains are a viable food?

Monk321654

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How hard can it be to find that burning hellhole visible from the faint glow over the horizon, trail of the dead and tower of smoke? Oh, and the stench.

Who decided fly brains are a viable food?
Someone very hungry.

How can
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
be so strong, yet so light?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

misko27

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Because Armok designed it that way, so you would make a Adamantine hammer thinking it will kill stuff, and not be a wiffle bat. How else will he get dwarf blood if you're always winning?

Why and how do Cats breed so much that the fabric of time is ripped?
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Maxmurder

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Because Dwarves cant get enough ☼Kitten Tallow Roast☼.

Why is it that regardless of how somthing dies, it's upper body always dissapears?
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The Sponge has become enraged!
Without a nervous system...
The only thing they can feel...
IS ANGER.

Komra

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In the upper body resides the heart, and therefore the soul. As a creature's soul leaves its body, so does that section.

How did the dwarves not notice the 3rd dimension for quite a while, and how did they discover it in the end?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Monk321654

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In the upper body resides the heart, and therefore the soul. As a creature's soul leaves its body, so does that section.

How did the dwarves not notice the 3rd dimension for quite a while, and how did they discover it in the end?
Dwarven Scripture prohibited them from looking up, lest Armok's face burn them to a Cinder.
And then the scripture was updated.
As to how they found out they can move along it, someone tripped. And fell in a ditch.

How can Mushrooms be as strong as wood?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

MaximumZero

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In the upper body resides the heart, and therefore the soul. As a creature's soul leaves its body, so does that section.

How did the dwarves not notice the 3rd dimension for quite a while, and how did they discover it in the end?
Dwarven Scripture prohibited them from looking up, lest Armok's face burn them to a Cinder.
And then the scripture was updated.
As to how they found out they can move along it, someone tripped. And fell in a ditch.

How can Mushrooms be as strong as wood?
They're bigass mushrooms.

Why can't Dwarves make two-handed swords?
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

Firehawk45

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They do, but humans look at those "Twohanders" and call them shortswords.... bloody human surface dwellers

In a room filled with every item that is in the game, which one would the tantruming dwarf take to beat the mayor to death with and why?
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Blizzlord

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The sock that the mayor is currently wearing.

Why do the dwarves never dance?
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
Most attempts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness on the internet will most likely end up in egregious delusions of eloquence. Finagle's law commands it!

Bobnova

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Armok saw a dwarf dance.  Armok decried it shall never happen again.

Why do dwarves love to engrave themselves engraving themselves engraving so much?
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how do I lizard Werewolf
ther seems to be a little gecko problem somehwere.
O gawd, drank all ten beers. And 3/5 of this at dinner.  I'm dronk.

Monk321654

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Armok saw a dwarf dance.  Armok decried it shall never happen again.

Why do dwarves love to engrave themselves engraving themselves engraving so much?
Dwarves appreciate Post Modernism.
Reality Repeating is one of their favorite art forms.
Besides Cheese.

How can you get milk from a Maggot?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

jaxy15

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Dwarves grind their flesh with their beards, making milk.

Why do dwarves never use rock mugs as waterskins or vials?
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.
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