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[Firehawk45]

Because.... oh, screw it, Armok said so, obey his words!

Why do the elves never do something against me killing their caravans and taking all their stuff? (And burning their wooden armor/wepons in lava, of course)

[Monk321654]

They lost their Diplomat, and are thus powerless to stop you.
Elves have a very strict system, don't you know?

Why can cats be so annoying while also being so adorable hypnotic?

[Flying Fortress]

Because the first two cats were captured by goblins and injected with a substance that would make you love them while they destroyed your fortress from the inside.

Why do the dwarves telling you about your embark location always lie about what animals to fear, they say to watch out for <awesome animal name here> and then those animals never show up.

[Komra]

Dwarves are creatures of the underground, not the surface. They just don't care too much about what's up above and so the matter is passed on to the marketing division.

What would be the first thing that gunpowder will be used for, should the dwarves discover it?

[jaxy15]

Minecart cannons.

Why do dwarves dislike humans?

[Monk321654]

Minecart cannons.

Why do dwarves dislike humans?

What in the world are you talkin' about?
We're good budding with the humans!
We trade them useless rock crap rock mugs and instruments, they give us cool weapons.

Why do players hate elves? The dwarves usually get along with them in worldgen.

[Firehawk45]

Because dwarfes are to stupid to hate them, so we have to take this matter into our own hands.

why do the elves dont have diplomats anymore?

[Graebeard]

Because we melt them sent them all swimming.

Why do constructed stone ceilings allow light through?

[Firehawk45]

special dwarfenbeardhairtechnology

What is Urist McGoblinites favourite food?

[trigg]

special dwarfenbeardhairtechnology

What is Urist McGoblinites favourite food?

This is the single least effort for both answer and question I've read in this thread! (Congrats!)
Obvious answer is plump helms, no matter what they say they like, they ALL like plump helms most.

Slightly srs question, why does Animal Training not seem to gain in skill when used?

[hjd_uk]

Because we melt them sent them all swimming.

Why do constructed stone ceilings allow light through?

They dont, but Dwarves have such good low-light vision, anything thats not actually a ink-black pool of primordial darkness in the very boewels of the earth is nice and bright to them.

[Graebeard]

Slightly srs question, why does Animal Training not seem to gain in skill when used?

Because training is discontinued so quickly after the "trained" rutherers are released into the fortress population.

Why are infants frequently too insane to clean themselves?

[misko27]

Beacause their minds havent adjusted to the sheer horror of their surrondings.

Why do most FBs have a syndome attack?

[Monk321654]

Part of the horrors that warped them before the beginning of the world corrupted their bodily fluids, turning them toxic and lethal.

How can a dwarf carry a cage filled with Elephants without his or her arms breaking off?

[ZeroSumHappiness]

It's well-known that cages are actually empty pocket universes with endless air in them.  That's also how tossing them from a minecart doesn't hurt the occupants -- in the pocket universe they're just free-floating and can't bang into anything.

Why are the skies often so low in Fortress Mode?