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[KtosoX]

Why is a cave troll looking for a bathroom inside your perimeter?

He just wants to take a quick bath to wash off the blood.

Why is nobody cleaning up the blood trail left over by the earlier mentioned cave troll?

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

Nobody wants to become a part of that trail.

Why did the cave troll cross the trap corridor 5 times on his way to the bathroom?

[Goblins]

My dwarf decided to bring an undead goblin corpse to a pit to be put into the arena.  It was 100 tiles away.  I mean, I was the one who told them to... but it's so hard!  Why the heck was this undead abomination able to kill all forty of my dwarfs?

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

My dwarf decided to bring an undead goblin corpse to a pit to be put into the arena.  It was 100 tiles away.  I mean, I was the one who told them to... but it's so hard!  Why the heck was this undead abomination able to kill all forty of my dwarfs?

Undead have unique "HP" mechanics which make them pretty much immune to unarmed combat. Unless you have dwarves that can punch with the force of a sledgehammer. 40 civilians could even kill a dragon if lucky, by causing enough pain, blood loss or suffocation... Zombies don't have any of these things.
Plus zombification causes sudden muscle mass gain, don't ask how.
Also zombies give really bad thoughts, and it's hard to fight back while screaming in horror and suffering flashbacks and stuff.

[Aslandus]

My dwarf decided to bring an undead goblin corpse to a pit to be put into the arena.  It was 100 tiles away.  I mean, I was the one who told them to... but it's so hard!  Why the heck was this undead abomination able to kill all forty of my dwarfs?

Undead have unique "HP" mechanics which make them pretty much immune to unarmed combat. Unless you have dwarves that can punch with the force of a sledgehammer. 40 civilians could even kill a dragon if lucky, by causing enough pain, blood loss or suffocation... Zombies don't have any of these things.
Plus zombification causes sudden muscle mass gain, don't ask how.
Also zombies give really bad thoughts, and it's hard to fight back while screaming in horror and suffering flashbacks and stuff.

I think the hp system was taken out, so unless you can pulp the zombie (or chop it apart with axes/swords, if you don't mind having living limbs creeping around) it's not going anywhere...

Nobody wants to become a part of that trail.

Why did the cave troll cross the trap corridor 5 times on his way to the bathroom?

He likes making fun of your puny traps, and how not dead they make him.

What kind of toilet does a cave troll use?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

I think the more approriate question here is what kind of toilets does anyone even use.

What kind of toilets does anyone even use?

[Goblins]

Why don't dwarfs need light?  Are they closely related to moles?

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

What kind of toilets does anyone even use?

Dwarves don't need them. Their digestive ends in a dead end. Nutritients and water get absorbed by the dwarf, everything else reinforces the beard. That's why they're impossible to cut off.
As for other races, their bodily functions seem connected to another dimension which exists only to teleport everything needed to survive straight into their blood stream.

Why don't dwarfs need light?  Are they closely related to moles?

They smell the air and detect vibrations with their beards, that's what most dwarven scientists say. However, they do so only to keep the truth from us - dwarves are radioactive. They're walking reactors powered by alcohol and if they live for long enough in an enclosed space, it absorbs their radiation and starts giving of light - this is why invaders don't smash into walls blindly while underground. And this is also what causes merchants to go ax-crazy if kept there against their will.


Why dwarves haven't weaponised these two attributes yet?

[KtosoX]

Their [Dwarves] digestive ends in a dead end. Nutritients and water get absorbed by the dwarf, everything else reinforces the beard. That's why they're impossible to cut off...

...dwarves are radioactive. They're walking reactors powered by alcohol and if they live for long enough in an enclosed space, it absorbs their radiation and starts giving of light - this is why invaders don't smash into walls blindly while underground. And this is also what causes merchants to go ax-crazy if kept there against their will.

Why dwarves haven't weaponised these two attributes yet?

Dwarven scientist and researchers are indeed famous for their attempts at weaponization of the worlds natural phenomena. Unfortunately, their designs are often abandoned due to trivial matters like implementation difficulties or casualties. One could also blame for this state of things the lack of progressiveness within the dwarven nation. Generations died of dehydration before the general population finally started harvesting tree gown fruits for booze production...

Why are there no waterwheel based mechanical contraptions in the Mountain homes?

[Dwarf4Explosives]

All megaprojects eventually kill the fort in which they are contained. Only those without them can survive for long enough to become permanent mountainhomes.

Why doesn't a creature with an outer layer of flame light grass on fire if it walks on it?

[Sanctume]

Why doesn't a creature with an outer layer of flame light grass on fire if it walks on it?

Those are just engravings depicting a layer of flame.

If an armor is made of magma-safe materials, how come wrestling a magma crab still burns?

[Badger Storm]

Metal conducts heat very well.  Same reason you get burned touching a hot pan.

When will people stop making unfunny beard jokes?

[FallenAngel]

Never, since beards have a telepathic ability that forces non-bearded ones to make beard jokes.

Why can't dwarves get water from a cactus?

[Badger Storm]

They tried to use a screw press and just ended up getting spines everywhere, including themselves.

Why can't you tap maple trees for their delicious syrup?

[FallenAngel]

Because the syrup got in their beards, and took forever to get out.

Why is the word "beard" fun to type?