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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 475330 times)

flabort

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Also, if your fort falls it's permadeath.
What about reclaiming the fort?
Equivelent to a Bones File.
Whereas if you find the bones of a previous failed run you are in for some Fun.
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The Cyan Menace

Went away for a while, came back, went away for a while, and back for now.

Badger Storm

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The necrotizing goop dripping from their pores was kind of a giveaway.

Why don't necromancers ever become liches?
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Aslandus

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Cast magic on themselves? gross

Why is necromancy the only magic available to non-elves?

Littleman9Mew2

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Cast magic on themselves? gross

Why is necromancy the only magic available to non-elves?

Becuase "witchcraft" hasn't been invented yet.

How can coldness go below absolute zero?
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"'Warm stone located?' Pffft it's just below me, nothing is going to-" Littleman was melted by lava.

UnicodingUnicorn

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Because there is no such thing as absolute zero. Temperature in DF has only two degrees, magma and non-magma.

How is it that a dwarf that can haul a 4 metric ton slade boulder needs multiple trips to haul a couple of puny socks?
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I do stuff, I guess

origamiscienceguy

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Because socks are by far more important than slade, a dwarf needs to treat each sock with the upmost care in order to show how much respect he has for said sock.

How can a floodgate be made from the bones of two rabbits?
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Eric Blank

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Its a really, really tiny floodgate. But that doesn't make it any less useful.

Why don't dorfs use mugs to drink their ale?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Max™

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They do, they're just very very very large barrel-shaped mugs.

Where do engravings go when you hide them?
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Badger Storm

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They put curtains over them, like was done with nude pictures a few centuries ago.

Why would a hammerdwarf use a dagger to kill a forgotten beast?
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Foxite

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For a little variation in his weapon-diet. THAT SUCKED.

Why is the manager always the first one to go to party?
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

origamiscienceguy

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So that he wont have to do his labor-intensive work.

Why can dwarves build fortresses attached to the sky, but elves have to build on top of trees? Why dont elves attach their houses to the sky too?
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Wimopy

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It's due to the dwarven philosophical approach. The surfacer philosophy states that the world they live in is actually a cave. Thus, naturally, the sky is in fact made of stone and the sun is just a bit of lava that's moving around in that stone.
The more advanced philosophy states that the world is an illusion and the sky is in fact the limit of the illusion. Which is a solid barrier. These dwarves don't go outside because they become sick from this terrible knowledge.
Elves are incapable of conceiving such radical ideas. For them air must continue all the way up, and the sky is just more air. Besides, hugging trees is better than hugging clouds or the sky, that's just silly.
(Note: Physics in the DF universe has not yet seperated from philosophy. This explains many irrationalities.)

Why is dwarven philosophy so much more advanced than any other?
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bahihs

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lol A lot of these sound like one-line jokes (Why can't Hellen Keller Drive?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Because Dwarves are perpetually drunk.

Why is everything that happens inevitable?   
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pisskop

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Because it wouldn't happen if it wasn't, right?

Why don't demons impersonate gods for the humans any more?
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drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

20firebird

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The humans finally caught on.

What gave cats their incredible ability to multiply out of control?
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WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET ENOUGH BABY FOR A PICKAXE? THERE ISN'T ENOUGH BABY.
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