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[Aslandus]

If they hang back the other military dwarves will make fun of them

Why would any dwarf wield a bow when we have crossbows?

[Knit tie]

Because they are the brave souls who protest against repressive societal norms.

Why do my dwarves mutilate goblins with animal brutality only to freak out afterwards?

[Max™]

Dwarves have a third eyelid that closes to protect their eyes during combat, much like a great white shark, and it is only after combat ends that they can truly appreciate the mess they've made.

Did I just make dorfs scarier or sharks more dorfy?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

You have just alerted dwarves to the presence of another sea creature to genocide.

What happened if you mixed Nethack with Dwarf Fortress?

[Badger Storm]

All the medical dwarves are slaughtered and canned for the healing properties of their flesh.

How could anyone contemplate coasts and come to the conclusion that it's a good idea to let a demon loose in the mortal world?

[Arx]

Dude, have you seen those mortals recently? The demons are better.

Why is it that a dwarf with an infected injury has "no medical condition"? It's a death sentence!

[Badger Storm]

Well, it's not technically a disease, right?  It's just...injury complications.  Yeaaaahhhhh.  Injury complications.

Why aren't there more good-aligned creatures?  I want a reason to embark in a good desert.

[Arcvasti]

They've been mostly hunted to extinction. Evil creatures don't like them and neither do most normal ones. The few surviving ones[Unicorns and fluffy wamblers] only persist by being both pure and noble AND badass.

Why are there no griffons, despite the fact that everyone engraves them?

[Aslandus]

Griffon meat is too delicious

Why can't I get meat from rabbits?

[deathschemist]

because dorfs find bunnies too cute to butcher- which is saying a lot considering they happily butcher puppies and kittens

why do my dorfs keep standing in the way of building the wall which they themselves are building?

[Arcvasti]

Its a passive aggressive way of going on strike. Your workers are very probably demanding higher wages.

Why do trees disintegrate instantly into groups of conveniently sized logs when they are chopped down?

[Eric Blank]

Dwarven woodcutters are efficient; they chop the tree into even segments with very little wood connecting them, then they push the whole thing over. The tree disintegrates during the fall.

Why do dwarves wear so many layers of clothing, even in tropical environments?

[Punching Bag]

All that clothing helps keep out the sun, especially in tropical climates.

Why do my dwarves feel an intense, burning hatred for all capybaras on the map, and mercilessly explode their heads whenever they get close?

[origamiscienceguy]

All that clothing helps keep out the sun, especially in tropical climates.

Why do my dwarves feel an intense, burning hatred for all capybaras on the map, and mercilessly explode their heads whenever they get close?

Because dwarves can never be the bigger person in a fight.

why do rivers always stay on the same level, except when going down a waterfall? How do the ones that don't have waterfalls flow?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

In the sea, there are places where it goes below a z-level, right? And all rivers flow to the sea, right? And water flows from a higher place to a lower place, right? There ya go!

Why can we only stuff vermin into backpacks?