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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 454236 times)

andyman564

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yes, but elves are the most irony resistant species in the world.

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Yeah.  Thus why I didn't make a trap.  In it's current state the fortress didn't need a trap, the whole damn fortress is a trap.

Monkeyfacedprickleback

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How Does a dwarf fit the contents of an entire barrel in a single water skin?
\
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Tevish Szat

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How Does a dwarf fit the contents of an entire barrel in a single water skin?
\

Dwarves are not good at using barrels to their full capacity...

How does simply declaring a space a food stockpile prevent rotting?
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A medium-sized humanoid fond of fantasy and science-fiction.

Tevish Szat likes books, computers, board games, and cats for their aloofness. When possible, he prefers to consume hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. He needs caffeine to get through the working day.

Monkeyfacedprickleback

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Germs arn't allowed in stockpiled space. they're burrow restricted.

Why do dwarves insist on walling themselves in?
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Komra

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It's their natural instinct pushing them towards clautrophilia (opposite of claustrophobia). They LUV dem small spaces. They do prefer the dark dank underground anyway, right?

Why will a forgotten beast/ other building destroyer break down a series of doors, and then stop at a measly bridge? (yes I know the whole buildings vs. constructions thing, it still doesn't make sense)
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Spaghetti

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Because instincts to avoid atom smashers is prevelant to all surviving species after the great atom smashing of year -122

Why do invaders or bandits seem only to have a breastplate and a helm? And nothing else?
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Tevish Szat

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Because instincts to avoid atom smashers is prevelant to all surviving species after the great atom smashing of year -122

Why do invaders or bandits seem only to have a breastplate and a helm? And nothing else?

They're coming to steal your pants and socks.

Why are snow HFS magma-proof?
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A medium-sized humanoid fond of fantasy and science-fiction.

Tevish Szat likes books, computers, board games, and cats for their aloofness. When possible, he prefers to consume hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. He needs caffeine to get through the working day.

Liber celi

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Because it's special snow. From hell.
How can a goblin survive a ballista arrow to the chest? Three times in a row?
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GreatWyrmGold

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He is actually a disguised abducted dwarf.

Why do dwarves like stones and metals that they should not even know exist?
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Sig
Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

jaxy15

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They were the only survivors of a clown attack, and liked the stuff.

Why don't dwarves ever make pop culture songs?
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

Komra

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They have done so- rock music. It was a lot more literal in their culture, consisting of throwing differently sized rocks at variably sized skulls. The art was later dropped in favor of more conventional instruments.

Why do nobles often want a bunch of empty armor stands and weapon racks?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Tersr

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They look nice.

Why do nobles hate their rooms, but if you add anything simple they love it?
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Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

Monkeyfacedprickleback

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They are obscenely materialistic.

Why human commander did you just stand there waiting for the 200 heavily armed and armoured dwarves to form up for their charge?
And Why oh noble goblin ambushers would you chose the very moment of said charge to reveal yourselves? The element of surprise doesn't allow you to overcome 20 to 1 advantage.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2011, 12:20:17 am by Monkeyfacedprickleback »
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acetech09

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Humans are prone to great ambition. He thought he could take you all easily.

The goblin ambushers misheard their commander say 'Holy shit! That's a lot of dwarves' for 'holy shit! Lets kill that lot of dwarves!'


Why can things walk across a brook, even though there's 7/7 water beneath it?
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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

Shurhaian

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The defining trait of brooks is that over centuries, they form a layer of semisolid foam. Once breached, this will take a similar amount of time to replenish, which is why channeling it away leaves an effectively-permanent gap.

Why do dwarves insist on stripping a corpse before bringing it back to the fortress for burial, instead of more efficiently stripping it after (or just burying the poor fallen dorf with all his/her possessions)?
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Working on: drakes - making the skies(mostly) a bit more varied

My guards need something better to do than make my nobles happy with hugs and justice.
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