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There's a reason why we have to process coal before we can use it as fuel.

How does being submerged in magma cause "minor burns" and "minor melting" spots all over the body and kill him 20 seconds later rather than simply melt down and boil the cells in a couple of seconds?

Armok prefers it when creatures bleed to death, so he tweaked physics to meet this preference.

Why doesn't tea grow on mountains?

[tonnot98]

Not enough soil.

Why do animals insist on rolling around in contaminated blood?

[Madman198237]

We haven't hit the "animal intelligence" arc yet.

Why, oh why, do dwarves stand in the tile they're presently building a wall on?

[Badger Storm]

For an easy excuse to skip out on work.  "I'm sorry overseer, I couldn't build the wall!  Some asshole was in my way and wouldn't move no matter what I did!"

Why are eagles, turkeys, and cassowaries referred to as "small" when in real life they're huge by bird standards?

[McCautious]

Because a Giant Eagle is huge by DF standards.

Why do Mayors make crutchwalkers attend meetings until they tantrum the crap out of everyone?

[Quartz_Mace]

Politics are too boring. Need that entertainment somewhere.

Why can't we start revolutions or join a new civ from the one we started?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Singing has not been implemented so we can't hear the people sing a song of angry men.

How many references can you make with Dwarf Fortress?

[pisskop]

I always make Dwarf Fortress references and puns when I hit on women.  And Im in college, so there's a fair amount of socially acceptable oppurtunities.

"Hey baby, if I were a night creature I'd abduct you and make you my wife"
"You make me feel like the High Thrusts of the Human civ The Rounded Clasps"
"I used to be an adventurer, but then you bruised my ego and my heart exploded into a mangled mess"
"You've Put me in a Fey Mood, Baby"


How come I have trouble spreading the good news about how fun DF is?

[Quartz_Mace]

Not everyone likes video games , DF is not the easiest to learn, and DF has almost no graphics (although it does have great aesthetic), and if you tell people about abducting people then marrying them as a Night Creature, they generally get weirded out.

Why do people still not try DF when I tell them great stories and don't even mention abductions and unconsentual marriages?

[Foxite]

You need friends that aren't pussies.

How am I supposed to balance gaming time with Super Smash Bros 4, Pokemon Omega Ruby, AND Dwarf Fortress?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Play the Pokemon Super Smash Bros mod for Dwarf fortress.

Is there such a mod?

[Foxite]

Probably not, but nothing stops you from making one. Except for the sole incompatibility of those three things to combine into one thing.

Why do I always come up with genius questions to put here and when I come at this thread to post it, I forgot what question it was?

[Wheeljack]

Armok himself keeps wiping the question straight from you mind. Such deep, thought provoking questions are not for mortal minds. The ensuing chaos of asking them would tear this forum, and the world, asunder.

Why would anyone want to play anything other than Dwarf Fortress?

[Madman198237]

Because some people can't handle the Bay12 community. That, and the thought that losing is fun. WHINERS!

Why is the DF learning curve a SMR overhang menacing decorated with spikes of HFS and some forts lost due to stupidity?

[Badger Storm]

It keeps away the cawadoody kiddies.

Why is the wildlife in the temperate wetlands so mind-numbingly boring?