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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 466084 times)

UnicodingUnicorn

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They're like the Protoss. They warp in.

Why isn't there blue or orange glass?
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I do stuff, I guess

flabort

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Dwarves have not figured out how to color glass using cake yet.

Why can't elves make unfermented juices for trade? I want to buy them so that I can ferment them as a big middle finger to the elves.
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The Cyan Menace

Went away for a while, came back, went away for a while, and back for now.

UnicodingUnicorn

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Elves may be hippies, but they're not suicidal. Bringing unfermented juices is like a big middle finger to the dwarves.

Why doesn't the elven diplomat say a thing when he has to path through a burning forest to reach your fort?
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I do stuff, I guess

Urist McRas

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He does say a lot of things. But who would listen?

Isn't the rate of homosexual dwarfs and animals a bit higher then it should be?
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The fortresses are penal colonies.
The mountainhome has far too many degenerates too deal with by itself, so it sends out minor nobles to establish penal colonies across the world.

Eric Blank

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Enough to summon a saliva golem.

Why do dwarves tell such lame jokes?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

UnicodingUnicorn

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Because of a lack of crutches.

Why hasn't the elven caravan been literally sent to hell?
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I do stuff, I guess

Eric Blank

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Because such a form of entertainment is too expensive even for the dwarves.

Why don't elves just give up and go home?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

UnicodingUnicorn

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The elven economy is being unbalanced by a surplus of wood and cloth.

Why can catapults only catapult rocks?
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I do stuff, I guess

Foxite

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Catapulting glass would horrify too much dwarves upon sight of how many ☼Crystal glass shards☼ pierces every part of the victim's body. Like, all of them.

Why can adventurer dwarves set just about anything on fire when civilian dwarves can't?
« Last Edit: November 27, 2014, 02:51:27 pm by latias1290 »
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

UnicodingUnicorn

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They don't have to go against the will of the Hivemind to do so.

Why do you need three siege engine parts, which equal three logs, to build something the size of a workshop, which you can build with one log?
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danmanthedog

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Because... Because... SHUT UP IT HURTS OUR BRAINS!!!

Why can dwarfs move faster with no limbs then limbed people?
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UnicodingUnicorn

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Because they don't have arms to weigh them down.

Why do dwarves rely on surface animals?
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Aslandus

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Crundles and giant cave spiders are kinda hard to explain to the neighbors...

What's the point of muskmelons?

Foxite

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Their point is to get liked by dwarves, causing a happy thought.

Why is finding a good embark site so hard these days?
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

Thisfox

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All the nicest ones got nabbed by the elves in year 1. Plus your standards have gone up as you've learned how to play the game.

What does an elf look for in an embark site?
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Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
Oh god... Plump Helmet Man Mimes!
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