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[Foxite]

They would, but they can't extract from elves.

Why is typing on a 3DS so hard? (Hey, nobody said it has to be a question about DF )

[Max™]

Because few if any 3DS games use qwerty or some thumb-typing friendly variation thereof.

How does the addition of a door turn two round-ended columns at the end of two sections of wall into smooth and flat-ended sections of wall?

[Foxite]

Because few if any 3DS games use qwerty or some thumb-typing friendly variation thereof.

Actually, no 3DS game supports thumb-typing, you type with a stylus, and you can always choose between ABCDEF, QWERTY, mobile or symbol keyboards :I

[UnicodingUnicorn]

How does the addition of a door turn two round-ended columns at the end of two sections of wall into smooth and flat-ended sections of wall?

Dwarven doors are actually portals to the different dimensions each tile is located in. When a door is constructed, the surrounding walls become focal points for the portal energies and change shape.

Do dwarves think with protals?

[Dwarf4Explosives]

No, they think with cheeseholes. Cheese serves as a great analogy for dwarven relativistic physics, illustrating how two points in space can be reached both by a relatively long path on the edge of the cheese or via relatively short paths through it. This is why cheesmakers are so highly valued by and popular in the mountainhomes.

Why do gods of fish help "clowns" rise to the surface?

[Max™]

They lost their favored servants, the carp.

Why are so many of the bug-fix reports so freaking hilarious? Everything from bees being priced wrong and helpful zombies waking you up, to the recent bit about night creature shopkeepers with nothing to say, pure comedy gold.

Because few if any 3DS games use qwerty or some thumb-typing friendly variation thereof.

Actually, no 3DS game supports thumb-typing, you type with a stylus, and you can always choose between ABCDEF, QWERTY, mobile or symbol keyboards :I

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Fantasy Life offers ABC, abc, and symbol, no qwerty or other choices, and it isn't ideal for thumb typing, no, but it would be easier if I didn't have to remind my fingers that the keys aren't where they should be every time I type anything.

[UnicodingUnicorn]

Dwarf Fortress is actually a joke-creating program that happens to be a fantasy-world simulator.

Now, the age old question of roguelikes, why can't a crab occupy the same tile as a dragon?

[pisskop]

Usually the crab has melted into smoke by the time the dragon gets to it.

Why do dwarves only settle one side of a mountain range?

[UnicodingUnicorn]

That's what they want you to think. They are secretly building a megaproject to flood the world with magma on the other side of the mountain.

Why can't adventurers jump off the edge of the world?

[Eric Blank]

Because the world terminates in an impenetrable, unscaleable wall of 'nothing', not a sheer drop. You can't fall off a wall that you can't get to the top of, after all.

Why do dorfs live on square sheets instead of spherical planets?

[Tiruin]

In the small and topographical scale of things-in-general, the idea of a square is to show the plane by which existence is based on. A stretch of land may easily be comprised of rectangles, squares or even hexagons cobbled on top of each other, just as well as differences of water to land to mountain. To illustrate a sphere would be needless complexity--and unrealistic in a realistic viewpoint. You don't see the horizon as curved like a sphere, despite literally looking at the distance via a curve.

Why can any enemies (sieges, FB's, Titans...) spawn right next to your fortress if anywhere near the edge of the map? There's a big difference between spawning 50 tiles away and 5 tiles, due to map edges.

[TheHossofMoss]

In the small and topographical scale of things-in-general, the idea of a square is to show the plane by which existence is based on. A stretch of land may easily be comprised of rectangles, squares or even hexagons cobbled on top of each other, just as well as differences of water to land to mountain. To illustrate a sphere would be needless complexity--and unrealistic in a realistic viewpoint. You don't see the horizon as curved like a sphere, despite literally looking at the distance via a curve.

Why can any enemies (sieges, FB's, Titans...) spawn right next to your fortress if anywhere near the edge of the map? There's a big difference between spawning 50 tiles away and 5 tiles, due to map edges.

Edge of the map, edge of the front gate, it's all the same to the Forgotten Beasties. A forgotten beast spawns neither too close, nor too far. They spawn precisely where they mean to.

How does a dwarf make an entire barrel of bilberry wine with one, single bilberry?

[Aslandus]

Bilberries are very large (more realistically, it's one serving of bilberry, which may be a few dozen berries)

Why do dwarves slow down when they don't get alcohol?

[Badger Storm]

Without alcohol, their bodies gradually slow down, until they enter a death-like stupor not unlike a hibernating animal.

How do puppies survive sharing a cage with a giant desert scorpion?

[Foxite]

When there's no alcohol, they drink water. Water is just that. Water. Alcohol is improved water, with all the nutrients and energy from the plant used to make it. Thus, alcohol gives a dwarf much more energy than water does. (Water gives no energy, in fact, so sober dwarves have to do with only the energy from ☼Cat meat roasts☼. NINJA'D

Please tell me how you got 2 different animals in the same cage, and I'll try to give an answer.

How did a dwarf who has infection infect me, his overseeer, with flu?