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[Max™]

Lights gnomeb on fire.

Wait, what the hell is a gnomeb?

[Foxite]

The plural of "gnomes" when you have hayfever.

Why does time in fortress mode go so damn fast? Like it takes one day for a normal dwarf to take 20 steps :/

[Thisfox]

Simply a translation error. What we have labelled a "year", they call a single day. Yes, seven dorfs can build a fort in a single day. They're DORFS DAMMIT.

What is the most dangerous plant in Dwarf Fortress?

[McDonald]

Plump helmets.

It's a stage in the life cycle of the plump helmet fungus. They infest vermin corpses due to their being small enough to be shaded by grass and such, much like they infest corpses and food left in the dark to rot, producing clouds of spores. These spores interfere with dorf reproductive spores and have become associated with frustration and disgust, hence why they are called miasma and make dorfs sick. If left alone long enough they will take up root as plump helmet plants which then send out spores into the local environment in an attempt to find other corpses to decompose. When they are unable to do so they enter a new stage in the life cycle wherein they grow limbs and are known as plump helmet men, which move around until they find a suitable area and upon death provide food for more vermin.

Should I start playing DF?

[Illogical_Blox]

Plump helmets.

It's a stage in the life cycle of the plump helmet fungus. They infest vermin corpses due to their being small enough to be shaded by grass and such, much like they infest corpses and food left in the dark to rot, producing clouds of spores. These spores interfere with dorf reproductive spores and have become associated with frustration and disgust, hence why they are called miasma and make dorfs sick. If left alone long enough they will take up root as plump helmet plants which then send out spores into the local environment in an attempt to find other corpses to decompose. When they are unable to do so they enter a new stage in the life cycle wherein they grow limbs and are known as plump helmet men, which move around until they find a suitable area and upon death provide food for more vermin.

Should I start playing DF?

Yes, or else the dwarves shall rise up and transform you into !!McDonald!! for the heresy of not doing so.

Why do Kobolds steal almost exclusively bone, stone & wood jewelry?

[Aslandus]

They've never seen glass, metal or gems before except for their copper daggers, so they assume they have some kind of cursed demonic power that they can avoid by going for the more familiar materials

Why do my dwarves keep walking while they vomit, spreading it over the entire entryway?

[Illogical_Blox]

They've never seen glass, metal or gems before except for their copper daggers, so they assume they have some kind of cursed demonic power that they can avoid by going for the more familiar materials

Why do my dwarves keep walking while they vomit, spreading it over the entire entryway?

They want the elves to share in its green glory. Or, dwarves are so used to it (drunkeness) that they just don't pay it any attention.

Why do dwarves feel the need to collect the fallens' socks?

[Badger Storm]

To commemorate their sacrifices.  Statues crumble and engravings wear away, but Xpig tail fiber socksX are forever.

How do the dwarves get a staircase carved from fucking sand to hold its shape?

[Max™]

It helps if you soak it in vomit first and let it set.

Did I just invent vomit-cement?

[Badger Storm]

Yes.  I don't know if you should be proud or ashamed.

How the hell did I get otter blood in my aquifer?

[pisskop]

By piercing the aquifer you've disturbed the natural clime of the aquifer otter, leading to their extinction at the hands of vicious predators.

With no such thing as nipples, how do dwarves milk anything?

[Orange Wizard]

*ahem, ahem*

Should I start playing DF?

You haven't already?

Why has MacDonwald not started playing DF?

[Tawa]

Because he found the forum while meditating in a monastery at the top of a Himalayan mountain and went straight down, skipping the DF boards.

With no such thing as nipples, how do dwarves milk anything?

They tear the animal's mammaries open with their bare fists, take the milk, then slam them shut.

How do dorfs produce cheese so quickly?

[Badger Storm]

It's all soft cheese that doesn't take real long to make.  They're missing out on cave-aged cheddar, but then again dwarves are none too bright.

Why can't you use peat as fuel?

[ptb_ptb]

Pete? Who's he?

Why can't you build near the edge of your fortress' territory?