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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 474173 times)

Savolainen5

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Because dwarves realise the superiority of leather over clothes, deep down.  Even if they DO prefer clothing.

Why do dwarves love purring maggots so much?
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A small creature sometimes found on paper.  It is small.  Its eyes are black. It is adored by children for its cuteness.
(On a picture of cavies):
We see a family of small land rodents.
Dwarfs see masterpiece roasts.

Theifofdreams

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Because they're mind controlling maggots.

Why do dwarves run out to gather equipment from dead dwarves when the things that did the killing are still there?

Fen

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Because each and every dwarf possesses a hidden greediness to hoard everything they see; as soon as someone dies, their hoard is forfeit, and must be claimed.

Why do huge, terrible threats sometimes wield socks and other articles of clothing as weapons?
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This space for rent

Elisebambi

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Because they know dwarves will run like madness straight into their fists if they brandish such luxurious goods.


Why, after spending four hours last night unable to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking in ASCII---simplifying objects around me into characters, etc, am I so willing to start playing DF again?
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Khenal

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Because they know dwarves will run like madness straight into their fists if they brandish such luxurious goods.


Why, after spending four hours last night unable to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking in ASCII---simplifying objects around me into characters, etc, am I so willing to start playing DF again?

It's kind of a Chuthulu thing, but dwarfier.

why is spoilermetal able to keep the clowns at bay, but vulnerable to a copper pick?
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Slave traders occasionally bring feral ghouls for trade. I haven't decided if this is a bug or feature yet.

Avatar from Kryptid!

RAKninja

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Because you're not looking hard enough.

Why are leather making and clothier completely different skills?
because sewing soft cloth, and tough leather are two separate skillsets.

what does urist do with that one sock he risked his neck to claim from a fallen comrade on the battlefield for?
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Goblin Fortress (NOW UPDATED FOR 34.02!
magma on his bed when he is sleeping, works every time

bryceharrington

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because sewing soft cloth, and tough leather are two separate skillsets.

what does urist do with that one sock he risked his neck to claim from a fallen comrade on the battlefield for?
He matches it with the one he got from your dryer.

Why doesn't Urist go to the trading post when it's his ONLY FRIGGIN task?
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RAKninja

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crap, i missed a page, so i'll pull double duty

why is spoilermetal able to keep the clowns at bay, but vulnerable to a copper pick?
clowns, being on the red side of the spectrum, are naturally repulsed by anything blue.

Why doesn't Urist go to the trading post when it's his ONLY FRIGGIN task?
urist mctrader is in reality an elf with a fake beard.  as such, he works how he can to bring doom to the fortress.

why does urist mccatlover have to adopt every kitten in the fortress?
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Goblin Fortress (NOW UPDATED FOR 34.02!
magma on his bed when he is sleeping, works every time

DuckBoy2

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Gotta catch em all.

Why are items thrown up Z levels by bridges, but creatures only thrown horizontally?
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GreatWyrmGold

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Because all creatures are afraid of heights, unless they can fly. This is why sieges on flying mounts never leave the ground.

Why do dwarves wall themselves out of my nice, safe fortress when I take every precaution against them doing so?
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Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

RAKninja

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Because all creatures are afraid of heights, unless they can fly. This is why sieges on flying mounts never leave the ground.

Why do dwarves wall themselves out of my nice, safe fortress when I take every precaution against them doing so?
because of the left-side mason's guild (see the notes to urist thread a few pages back)

why does my duchess claim all of the armor of the marksdwarf squad i just quartered in her keep?
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Goblin Fortress (NOW UPDATED FOR 34.02!
magma on his bed when he is sleeping, works every time

ThatAussieGuy

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Because she's been making annoying mandates and knows what happens to nobles that annoy the fortress ruler

GreatWyrmGold

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Because all creatures are afraid of heights, unless they can fly. This is why sieges on flying mounts never leave the ground.

Why do dwarves wall themselves out of my nice, safe fortress when I take every precaution against them doing so?
because of the left-side mason's guild (see the notes to urist thread a few pages back)
One of the precautions I took.

Why do dwarves attack elves that bring awesome animals to trade in hopes of having elves bring awesome animals to attack you?
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Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

ImBocaire

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Because trade implies that one side (the elves, in this case) are not screaming, dying, and burning (potentially not in that order).

Why can't dwarves ride mounts?
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[STATE_ADJ:GAS:boiling fish woman]

CT

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Because they can't stop maiming the animals long enough to tame them.


 Why are picks so good at severing limbs?
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No, yep. That's what I meant too. I want to come out of the theater completely fucked up for weeks.
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